VIDEO: McDonalds + Rice Cooker = Stoner’s Delight?

Some intrepid culinary pioneer in Japan decided that a mere Big Mac with Fries meal (with a side of McNuggets) wasn’t tasty enough on its own (ed. note — it is), and so this daring person opted to put the whole thing in a rice cooker and press go. I’m not sure I’ll be putting this on my slate of Adventures in Domesticity plans, but then again…

Via The Daily What

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Morgan from ‘Top Chef: Just Desserts’ Season One Busted For Child Porn!

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I’m not sure this is the publicity that Bravo wanted as it approaches the season finale of Top Chef: Just Desserts. Former contestant and season one runner-up Morgan Wilson has been indicted on three second-degree felony charges of possession with intent to promote child pornography. Yech.

Of course, everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but the details of the case seem rather disturbing so far. According to the Plano Courier Star, the FBI managed to download several kiddie porn files from Wilson’s computer via Limewire back in December 2010. Investigators later presented Wilson with the photos, which he admitted to having viewed. He has since been arrested and released on $10,000 bail.

Needless to say, I don’t anticipate he’ll be making any surprise appearances on Watch What Happens…

From more information, read the full story here.

Via Eater LA

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Is That An Eel In Your Penis Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

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I believe the headline of the following link says it all, but in case you’re to lazy to glance downwards, let me explain. A man in China went to a spa where he submerged himself in a pool and let freshwater eels graze off his dead skin. The treatment is not unlike the fish pedicures one might encounter in Japan (helpful things I learned on the long forgotten series I Survived a Japanese Game Show). Anyway, this gentleman thought he was in for a relaxing afternoon with the eels, but little did he realize that one intrepid bastard had other plans.

It’s not too late to stop reading. Still here? Okay…

Here’s the long and the short of it: AN EEL GOT INTO THE MAN’S PENIS AND SLITHERED AND NIBBLED ITS WAY ALL THE WAY UP INTO HIS BLADDER.

No. No. Stop. I’m mad at MYSELF for writing about this. But I just have to.

The unfortunate spa-goer was rushed to the hospital where doctors spent three hours in surgery removing the eel, which is now thankfully dead.

For more unpleasant details, check out the link below. And thanks to my dear friend Heather Whaley for bringing this special story to my attention.

Metro UK: Eel removed from man’s bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

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Sounds From The Gym

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I believe Adam Sandler used to have an old routine about the similarities between gym grunting and sex, and never was that more true than on a recent trip I took to the gym. The man next to me on the pull-down bar seemed to be having a positively orgasmic experience with his hefty ten pound weight. Every time he tugged down the bar, he let out a disturbing moan, and it got so out of hand that I was forced to take necessary measures: secretly record his voice.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get too close to this older gentleman without arousing suspicion (nothing like shoving an iPhone into someone’s face to tip them off), and as a result, the audio is not the clearest possible. However, the moans are definitely there, and they most certainly reach a climax of sorts. Listen for yourself after the jump… Continue reading

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Screenshots from Danielle Staub’s Sex Tape Surface; Eyes Across America Burn

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On Monday evening, The Real Housewives of New Jersey will address a sex tape scandal involving Danielle Staub. Later that night, Hustler will release said sex tape, and moments later, thousands of people across America will instantaneously perish from self-immolation. Yes, Danielle’s lady-parts are just days away from being plastered all over the internet, and guess what? Censored screen caps are already surfacing! Yay!

Check out the images at IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com. And if you’re feeling especially brave, view the sex tape trailer here.

Thanks to IndianJones for the heads up.

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