Recently in Politics Category
Shill time. I've got a new post up on DipDive — one that dares raise an issue that many Obama-heads might not appreciate. Here's the first paragraph:
Take a look around the urban landscape: t-shirts, murals, and posters all boast pop-art odes to Barack Obama. He attracts celebrity followers wherever he goes, and his mere name is enough to catapult nobodies into viral video stardom. The man, or rather The Man, has become a force unto himself, effectively plunging our country into a deep, unmitigated bout of Obamamania. There’s absolutely no denying it. People are fainting in his presence, dreaming in his absence, and generally gushing at all other times. Barack Obama has become the coolest thing ever — the closest thing to a Beltway matinee idol we’ve seen in quite some. So here’s the question: is Obama himself actually cool?
Continue reading Urkel-bama? ».
As I was toiling around the Internet the other day, I came across this severe photo of Cindy McCain (are there any other type?) and a thought occurred to me: if everyone had a pocket-sized version of this pic, we could have a utopian society. Think about it. Any moment you're contemplating cheating, slacking off, or being disrespectful, one look at this photo will completely change your mind. Sounds crazy, but it's true. Cindy's face is so harsh and judgmental, it's almost as if she's asking you — and only you — "OH REALLY?" How can one transgress in the presence of such matronly disdain?
Examples after the jump.
Hey y'all [said in Paula Deen voice]. I've written another post for DipDive.com, and this one focuses on Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain's respective cookie recipes — apparently the key to this election. Anyway, I'm curious as to how these recipes will turn out, but I'm not sure if I have the patience (or capacity) to make them myself. Any intrepid bakers out there feel like taking them on? Nevertheless, voice your opinion in the comments, and in the meantime, here's the intro to my article...
When it comes to predicting elections, we can refer to our usual tools of prognostication — charts, maps, trends, stats, data, logic, common sense — or we can turn to a more reliable bellwether: cookies. Yes, those small, innocuous, and oft-times heavenly morsels of greatness can hold the key to elections.
While seemingly unrelated to politics, it turns out that there’s a very special link between cookies and Presidential ascendancy. For the past four elections, the readers of Family Circle magazine have accurately predicted the next President based on the cookie recipes of the candidates’ wives. Whoever has had the more popular cookie has gone on to win the whole shebang. Why? Not sure. Maybe it’s because a scrumptious cookie recipe speaks of a candidate’s good judgment. After all, what candidate would ever allow a substandard cookie to represent him on the campaign trail? Anyone that abides by such silliness surely can’t be fitting for the White House. (Of course, by this logic, Ina Garten could power her husband Jeffrey into the Oval Office without a problem; so, as you can see, the theory is a bit flawed.)
Continue reading COOKIE MONSTERS: Michelle and Cindy Get Their Baking On ».
Yesterday, I detailed the mortifying experience of spilling an iced coffee on a reporter's PDA while discussing the Obamas. Little did I realize that this would be the start of some sort of national trend. It appears as though merely mentioning Obama, or specifically, Michelle Obama, causes coffee cups -- whether they be tall or short, hot or cold -- to topple over in dramatic fashion. Take, for example, the case of Whoopi Goldberg, who, less than twenty-four hours after my accident, similarly knocked her beverage over live on The View. But this time, it wasn't a reporter's invaluable collection of contacts that was in danger. No, it was guest host MICHELLE OBAMA HERSELF. Don't worry. She was safely away from any sort of caffeinated spillage. But still... Obamamania strikes again!
(Thanks Annie25 for the heads up)
Well, after a long fought and riveting battle, it looks as though Barack Obama has finally vanquished the Clinton Thunder, which is good news for some, disappointing news for others. I can't even imagine what Hillary Clinton must be feeling right now — assuming she's accepted her inevitable fate. Odds are she still thinks she has a chance, which is why I'm even more empathetic to the poor bastard that must break the news to her that for all intents and purposes, it's over. Needless to say, I wouldn't want to be that person.
How exactly does one approach Senator Clinton and break the bad news to her? Is it even possible without her inflicting bodily harm? I'm not so sure. But I have some ideas of how to go about such an onerous job, and I've conveniently written them up at DipDive (shill shill shill). Here's the first paragraph:
There are many thankless, uncomfortable, and downright terrifying jobs in the world but none might be as singularly difficult and scary as having to face down Hillary Clinton and inform her that yes, it’s over. I don’t know who that person is or will be, but I don’t envy their position. The fact is that someone on Hillary’s staff will probably have to draw the short straw, and when that time comes, he or she better be prepared.
Continue reading LIFE TO HILLARY CLINTON: Wah Wah Waaaaah ».
Time to shill again. I've written yet another column for Dipdive, and this one centers on Barack Obama's assertion that videogames shouldn't be raising our children. To that I say PISH-POSH! Videogames can be fine parental substitutions. It's all about finding the right titles. And what titles would those be? Funny you should ask. I have a list of them in the article. Here's the introduction:
Two weeks ago, when Grand Theft Auto IV first hit the shelves, Barack Obama noted that the game would earn “goo-gobs of money” (and yes, that is a scientific term). He also warned that “these video games are raising our kids,” and then went on to say that it was “our” job (not sure if he meant society or just his campaign) to inspire The Kids’ “thirst for knowledge. It’s a noble cause, but as someone whose childhood was shaped by the finer nuances of Pac-Man , Zelda, and the brothers Mario, I took slight umbrage at the suggestion that those of us who partake in pixilated entertainment might somehow contribute to the downfall of society. Granted, gaming nowadays is a bit different than it was in the 80s. Back then, the only learned habits an impressionable youth might come away with would be an unwavering desire to save princesses from apes, turtles, and the occasional fantastical wizard. Needless to say, it was harmless stuff.
The truth is that the youngin’s are always gonna veer towards video games. If Obama wants the next generation to ascend to new academic heights, then maybe he shouldn’t fight the gamers but join them. That’s why I propose a groundbreaking series of games aimed at giving teenagers the visceral thrill of a headshot along with the satisfying rush of The Economist.
Here’s a sampling of what to expect:
Continue reading 'Super Obama Brothers?' »
So there I was, sitting in my parents' house, working on my writing when suddenly, the phone rang. I figured it was my mom or dad asking if I'd moved the chairs from the basement to the dining room; so I went over to the phone and answered it with a customary "Hello?"
"Hello," said an authoritative voice on the other line. "This is Barack Obama."
HOLY SHIZNIT!!!!
Why in the world was he calling here? And how fortunate was I that I got back from the pizza place just in time to receive this call! Well, I was far too stunned to say anything in response, but that was okay because Barack just kept talking, imploring me to go vote tomorrow in the elections. I couldn't believe it. Here I thought Presidential candidates were too busy to call us little people, and yet there I was, chatting with Senator Obama. Well, I wasn't so much chatting as listening. He went on to describe how I could vote, and where I could find answers to my voting questions. It was incredibly helpful; although, he did fail to explain how the New York residents he was calling could vote in Pennsylvania's primaries -- but that's neither here nor there.
Unfortunately, as the Senator is very busy these days, he had to end the call before I could get a word in edgewise. That's not entirely true, actually. I did at one point ask him if he would send my friend an autographed picture, but he just talked right over me as if he didn't even know I was there. It was almost as if he couldn't even here me. Like a robot. Or some pre-recorded message. That's okay though. I'm sure what he had to say was more important than my request, and like I said, he's a busy man. At the end of the call, I felt empowered. I had just had a brush with greatness. I can only hope the rest of you can experience such a brilliant moment.
Gosh, there was so much American Idol this week, and very little of it was actually any good. Quite frankly, I'm a bit exhausted from it all, and I haven't even seen the results show yet (although, I know who was ejected). I'm gonna work on a little wrap up this morning, but while you wait for it — and I know you are ALL waiting for it eagerly — check out this other Idol piece I just wrote for Dipdive. Heck, I'll even give you the first paragraph here:
When American Idol aired its second annual charity special, Idol Gives Back, earlier this week, the producers seemed to go out of their way to cram as many celebrity cameos as humanly possible into the mammoth show. Yet despite an accommodating two-and-a-half hour running time, there were at least three people who still were left out of the fun. That’s right, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain were nowhere to be seen, instead relegated to the proverbial sidelines that was Thursday’s results show. It sort of seemed like a bizarre snub. Surely these three Presidential candidates had enough clout to warrant a place on the main stage, but I guess Fox felt other celebrities were more valuable for fundraising needs. And honestly, I kind of agree. I mean, out of all the stars that took the stage, who would you turn away?
Continue reading 'AMERICAN IDOL' TO POLITICAL CANDIDATES: And You Are?? ».
With Heidi Montag's ringing endorsement of John McCain last week, one has to wonder which MTV reality stars will the other candidates be courting in their bid for White House supremacy. I delve into this deeply important topic in my latest article for DipDive, the new site from will.i.am (yes, yes, I've mentioned the site before, but there are a lot of new readers these days; so let me shill in peace).
Be sure to check out my MTV-themed post, and while you're there, you can also read my article about dream analysis — something I regretfully forgot to shill when it was first published. Leave a comment too!
• They Want Their MTV [DipDive]
• They Had A Dream [DipDive]
With the all too early exit of Amanda Overmyer from American Idol, I couldn't help but get downright introspective. What sort of a world is this where smokey-voiced, sartorially challenged singers can't find a mass market in America anymore? It's not, right I tell you. It's not!
Seriously, I was bummed that Amanda got the heave-ho last night. She was never destined to win the competition, but I loved her growly voice, her attitude, and, dare I crib a word from Paula, her authenticity. Plus, she was a nice change from the morose ballads of David Archuletta and Rambutan. Oh well.
Since the reality of another Kristy Lee Cook performance is all too harsh for people who are fans of "music" and "in tune singing," I provide you with this distraction to help you through the day. It's my latest contribution for Dipdive, and it dares to ask, "What Can Candidates Learn from American Idol?" OOOOH.
Check out all the goodness here.
moar funny pictures
Okay, this headline is a mild exaggeration, but as some of you know, Will.I.Am -- lead singer of the Black Eyed Peas -- has started up a new website titled DipDive, and I'm honored to say that I've been invited to contribute to it. My first post went up this morning; so by all means, go over there and check it out!
• Falling For Obama [DipDive]
Are people fainting because Obama's so powerful or because his followers are too weak? Oh I KEED. Either way, there's a whole lot of swooning going on, and this video has documented it all.
Fun times had by all (except those who were rushed to the hospital).
Via Gawker.
I'm so fired up with political activism right now I'm surprised there's no annoying Facebook group dedicated to me. Last night, I attended my very first Planning Commission meeting here in West Hollywood, and while I knew I'd encounter several stodgy old people and myopic idiots, I didn't realize the degree to which they'd a) annoy me, b) get me riled up, and c) use poor logic to defend their statements.
The issue at hand was whether or not The Standard Hotel could extend its pool-side bar service hours. I won't bore you with the details, but the proposed resolution would ultimately allow the hotel to serve until 1:30 AM on the weekends. I, of course, was totally for this move for a variety of reasons, the most self-serving being that I would love to enjoy my nights at The Standard without being herded away from the pool at the stroke of 11:30 PM . More importantly, however, keeping The Standard open until closing time would keep it and The Sunset Strip competitive with other nightlife options — most of which are fleeing to Hollywood. And after seeing this planning board, I understand the exodus.
My entire experience at the meeting after the jump. Be warned, I will be ranting.
Click to see search results.
Here's a curious bit of news. For whatever reason, a Google search for the words "comparing hillary and obama" places this site at #6 in the results. Huh? That's right, as of press time, I'm ranked higher than The New York Times, CBS News and The Huffington Post, to name a few. This can't be good for the state of America. After all, do we really need thousands of prospective voters coming to me for political insight? I BLOG ABOUT CANDY AND COUGARS. Then again, it would be refreshing to see Cadbury Creme Eggs get the political attention they always deserved.
Nevertheless, I am not complaining at all. I love the traffic. I want the traffic. I need the traffic. So, by all means, if you found this site through some unfortunate political sleuthing, I say welcome and enjoy (and don't worry, I do blog about more than candy and cougars).
And for those of you wishing to see the post that's drawing the attention, click here.
Kudos, me. I just exercised my constitutional right to vote.
I don't know what the weather's like in the rest of the country, but dammit, it was a beautiful day to vote in sunny Los Angeles. Mid-60s, sunny, gentle breeze. Why, it was all I could do to keep myself from swirling like Maria Von Trapp down to the polling station. Luckily, I got a hold of myself and managed to maintain proper poise and composure during the entire experience. I was, however, miffed to find out that I was not allowed to take pictures inside the polling station. I guess that's to be expected, but The New York Times certainly got my hopes up to the contrary. Yes, the old Gray Lady's been hosting this alleged "Polling Place Photo Project," which has been soliciting readers to submit pictures of their voting experiences. As a result, I just assumed I'd be able to snap a few shots of my fellow citizens doing their patriotic duty, but alas, I was informed warmly that my inner Gilles Bensimone had no place in this polling outpost. Fear not though. I still managed to document the voting experience — completely legally too. Photos after the jump...
Today, stalwart climate clairvoyant Punxsutawney Phil — the Al Roker of puffy rodents — emerged from his stump, and in an ominous sign for those seeking a return to warm weather, the celebrity groundhog saw his shadow, thus ushering in six more weeks of inclement winter weather.
But not all is as it seems.
The Associated Press reports that Phil's Southern counterpart, Gen. Beauregard Lee of Lilburn, GA, had not in fact seen his shadow, which means winter will end early. Furthermore, this is the third year in a row that these groundhogs have split over meteorological predictions. Have the days of bipartisan groundhoggery passed? Or maybe is it time that The Punxy Philster be dethroned?
WHOSE SIDE DO YOU TAKE???
So it's primary season in America, and while most people are concerned with "issues" and "leadership," all I really care about is web design. That's why I've decided to compare and contrast the official websites of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I combed through both sites carefully and created a brief list of what works and what doesn't for each. Okay, I mostly harped on the negative and petty, but whatever. This is a blog, not a newspaper. I'm allowed to be unreasonable.
That being said, this is meant to be as objective as possible. Political discussion is welcomed, but please do not interpret this post as an endorsement of any kind — although, I'm sure the candidates are all waiting with baited breath for an official B-Side Blog show of support. Additionally, if you base your vote on my superficial findings, you're kind of an idiot. Just saying.
With the disclaimers out of the way, let's move onto the sites.
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