Recently in Random Funny Stuff Category
Last week during Fashion Week in NYC, my friend Meeshie managed to find herself in an exclusive little party with none other than Tim Gunn, the lovable and articulate sartorial guru from Project Runway. Well, the two of them apparently struck up a conversation, and eventually, it led to the nifty little video above.
Here's Meeshie's explanation of the clip (don't mind the exclamation points):
We made this for you specifically!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said he knew tvgasm, so he agreed to make this video for you! ... btw, keep in mind that i have never seen his show so i had no idea about his "catch phrase"! he caught me so off guard! i said if you posted it on your blog that we would send him the link for him to see it and so he could know your new blog! i told him the name of it but i doubt if he remembers.
So there you have it. And I think it goes without saying that Meeshie is looking lovely in the video.
When my friend jash sent me the following link to go in today's "And Whatnot" post, I assumed it was just another one of his mildly amusing, borderline boring submissions that I'm obligated to post in the spirit of friendship. How wrong I was. The article, titled "Playing to the Middle," focuses on the new JC Penney in Manhattan's Herald Square, and needless to say, The Gray Lady is not kind to this Middle American intrusion on the heretofore upmarket fashion scene of New York City. Writer Cintra Wilson goes on to absolutely skewer JC Penney with one passive-aggressive observation after another, forcing me to wince at her obnoxiousness... and smile broadly at her snobbiness. Occasionally she inserts a cooly disingenuous compliment, such as when Wilson writes "AND herein lies the genius of J. C. Penney: It has made a point of providing clothing for people of all sizes." However, she then follows that praise up with a decidedly withering observation that "[JC Penney] has the most obese mannequins I have ever seen. They probably need special insulin-based epoxy injections just to make their limbs stay on. It’s like a headless wax museum devoted entirely to the cast of 'Roseanne.'"
Needless to say, for those of you who rant against the East coast elitism of The New York Times, I can guarantee that you will not emerge from this piece feeling warm and cuddly. For the rest of us, there's a good chance you'll be guffawing.
Nice find, JASH.
New York Times: Playing To The Middle
Actress Kelly Rowan may be best recognized as cool / alcoholic mom Kirsten Cohen on the seminal Fox hit The O.C., but were you aware she has a newer, flashier gig these days? Yes, Kelly Rowan can now be seen endorsing the Michigan Flyer, which for the uninformed just so happens to be Michigan's premier "luxury motorcoach connection to and from Detroit Metro Airport." Let me tell you something, you haven't made it in Hollywood until you've landed a primo airport shuttle deal.
Visitors to the shuttle's website are greeted by a photo of Ms. Rowan looking authoritative yet sensible as she proclaims "Michigan Flyer: Because I can depend on the service of a brand new fleet." And I think we can all agree that if there's anything Kelly Rowan hates, it's an unreliable fleet of buses.
Of course, there's the distinct and likely possibility that Kelly Rowan isn't actually endorsing the Michigan Flyer and that whoever designed the site merely stole her image from some corner of the Internet — something I can assure you I've never done. But I like to think that this is no accident. Kelly clearly has a penchant for Lansing-bound vehicles, and it comes through in spades here. I just hope other members of The O.C. can get into the action. I don't know about you, but I'm thinking a Julie Cooper Nichols water taxi endorsement. Know what I'm sayin'? (And yes, I realize that Julie Cooper Nichols is a fictional character, but just let me have this, okay? Thank you.)
Question: what would happen if the theme song from Amen started playing at inappropriate moments? That is the question asked here in the video that America has been waiting for: the inevitable Amen-Chinatown mashup. It was only a matter of time, really.
For the past several months, I've been promising various friends that I would try yoga, but every time I try to get my act together, something comes up, and the whole endeavor falls apart. It's been quite frustrating for all parties involved. Well, this past weekend, whilst summering in sunny (yes, sunny) Seattle, my friend Meeshie suggested I try some yoga poses. It really was the perfect moment for such an activity: the weather was beautiful, the waterfront exquisite, and the company lovely. And so while m_ruv manned a camera, Meeshie set about teaching me some basic poses — none of which I held longer than about twenty seconds. Hey, it's a start.
Photos of me attempting to display minor flexibility after the jump...
Via The Los Angeles Times
It was gay pride weekend in West Hollywood, and in an effort to educate the public on what to look forward to, the L.A. Now blog at The Los Angeles Times posted a description of the festival's scheduled events. I couldn't help but notice the juxtaposition of these two offerings:
"Crafts and playground games will be available at the Children’s Garden, while an adults-only 'Erotic City' will host an outdoor dungeon and erotic art show. "
Fun for sex slaves AND their kids! Well done.
With the weather being so warm and awesome-ish, I went up to my building's pool yesterday and was quite surprised to see some missing letters on a nearby plaque. Needless to say, juvenile snickering ensued...
There's been scandal brewing in IndianJones's apartment building. First a letter went up from the manager Tatyana complaining about a bunch of irascible gay youths in the pool after hours. Then a second letter went up from Tatyana, saying that the first letter was a fake and that her name should not be used in vain. So which cold and calculating person could possibly be setting up Tatyana for the fall? Meet Suspect A: an oiled-up lass in a candy cane (!) bikini that IndianJones spotted by the pool from his window. Sure, she looks all innocent and melanoma-ready, but I'm starting to think she could be at the heart of this scandal. Take a look at the evidence:
1) She's got the motive! Clearly this woman likes her pool time. The last thing she needs is a bunch of loud gay guys ruining her peace. Besides, what if they spread their AIDS in the water? Not cool.
2) She and Tatyana are clearly enemies. It's basic girl principle: heavyset older women simply cannot be friends with younger attractive women. Tatyana most likely resents this girl for her youth and figure. The girl resents Tatyana for charging her rent and giving her nasty looks.
It's all so obvious: scare the gays off, claim the pool for herself, and let Tatyana take the blame. A perfect crime.
Or, of course, there's the other explanation: she's just a girl by the pool who has nothing to do with anything. I choose not to believe that. Either way, IndianJones got his jollies today, and that's all that really matters.
A few days ago, I posted a letter from IndianJones's landlady to all the tenants, complaining about a bunch of "jack ass" (sic) gays who had besieged the pool late at night and had made loud, unsettling gay noises — clearly a result of having been thrown out of local gay bar The Abbey. Well, turns out the note was NOT from the landlady, who posted the above statement.
So who in IndianJones's building is pretending to be Tatyana? And will this impostor be caught?
Developing...
Spotted in IndianJones's building this weekend: a memo from his land lady that strikes just the right balance of hilarity and offensiveness. Well done!
Feel free to discuss — but keep it mature. Juvenile behavior is unacceptable on MY blog.
Take one part crazy, one part awesome, and one part HOT (in a deluded, not-as-hot-as-Gretchen kind of way), and what do you get? The picture above, which features Ramona (Real Housewives of New York City), Zoila (Flipping Out) and Tamra (Real Housewives of Orange County). I don't know the context of the photo (sent to me courtesy of Jash), but it's safe to say that it probably was snapped at some Bravo function where Zoila may or may not have been on cleanup duty (she is in her maid outfit). Needless to say, I think we can all agree this leads to a very important question: "Who would you marry, sleep with, and kill?"
Submit your choices below.
Hope has come to cigars. The other night I stumbled across this ad for the new Obama cigar from Granada Cigars. I'm really not quite sure how it relates to our current Commander In Chief (a Clinton brand might make more sense — heyooooh 1998 humor!), but according to the poster, "Change Has Come," and apparently that goes for cigars too.
Nevertheless, I'm slightly tempted to try the Obama cigar, if only so that I can then speak the Granada Cigars tagline with full authority: "If you're not smokin' the G... ...then what are you smokin'?" A QUESTION FOR THE AGES!
For more information on the Obama cigar, check out the Granada website here.
Over the weekend, I headed to Las Vegas to celebrate the joint 30th birthdays of IndianJones and J-Unit, and as is likely to happen in Sin City, we promptly came upon some hawt girl-on-girl action right on the strip. Needless to say, our cameras caught all of the action.
To see a few more pics, as well as the hotties who were locking lips, follow the jump...
A study in Chenpressionism.
Julie Chen turned up in quite the surprising location today: a New York Times article about self-commissioned celebrity portraits. Our favorite hostess and her husband, CBS bigwig Les Moonves, are profiled as some of the many people who've had artists recreate their visages for the sake of art. I won't get into the various details of the article, but needless to say, all that's really important is that we now have our first officially sanctioned ChenPortrait! Yay!
Next stop? THE LOUVRE. (Just putting it out there)
• Enough About Me. Like My Portrait? [The New York Times]
Thanks to Jash for forwarding me this article.
There's really nothing more to add to this — except maybe "I love The Soup.."
An oldie but goodie. Besides, I think Fran captures the Hanukkah spirit best.
Guess who the blurred out star is in this photo.
The answer after the jump...
If this blog seemed particularly quiet on Friday, it's because I spent half that day getting in touch with my inner farmer. That's right, in a shocking departure from my usual urban adventures, I headed north to the San Fernando Valley and visited Forneris Farms, a random outpost in Mission Hills, CA that's home to a pumpkin patch, a market, and most importantly, a corn maze. The experience was aggressively wholesome, and even better, there was not a single child in sight. Actually, there was one kid, but she was cute and relegated to the safe environs of an inflatable bouncy pumpkin.
The motivation for this trip actually stemmed from a strange mixture of childhood yearnings, pop culture wish fulfillment, and general boredom. You see, ever since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with mazes. I always dreamed of going to a hedge maze, and while I've been to some, they've always tended to be quaint things that are less about a challenge and more about good gardening. In recent years, my friend Meeshie and I have tried in vain to go to various corn mazes, but scheduling tended to always get in the way. The one time we did manage to get ourselves over to a maze, we were shocked to find that it didn't even exist. We were confronted with nothing but an empty field. It was horrifying.
Recently, news popped up of a David Archuleta corn maze in Utah. It seemed like the perfect opportunity. I could fulfill my corn maze fantasies, indulge in some kitschy pop culture, and get a beautiful road trip out of it to boot. Unfortunately, I had no one to go with me. The only person who was interested in such an adventure was Jash, and since he actually has a real life job, he couldn't just traipse up north at the drop of a hat. Sadly, this perfect union of American Idol and corn would not be happening, but I still had the maize on the mind. After doing some research, I discovered that we had a corn maze right here in the Los Angeles area. I called up my friend Sawgee and convinced him to join me as I finally embarked on my very first corn maze experience.
Photos of this adventure, including our disorienting journey through the corn maze, after the jump...
Check out this clip which features two guys "making out" behind a CNN reporter live at Lehman Brothers. I don't know what's more amusing — the faux-nipple licking or the anchor's attempt to parlay it into some sort of new analysis.
Click for larger view / PROOF.
It gives me great honor to announce that B-Side Blog is now the top result for the Google search terms, "big brother sex." That's right: out of over one million possible options, I'm #1 in the ENTIRE WORLD, nay, GALAXY, nay, UNIVERSE! Huzzah! I always knew my blog would become famous for something, and now I know what it is. I suppose I should thank April and Ollie, whose penchant for DOING IT rocketed this site to the top of the charts. Without them, I'd just be another anonymous blogger, snickering at the world. Thank you, Aprollie. Thank you.
Yes, it's a wonderful day here at the B-Side home base, and I plan to celebrate with caviar toasts and a bottle of champagne. Or, barring the availability of those first two options, a bowl of cereal. Probably the latter.
"I'm OUT OF THIS WORLD!"
Tonight, I tried to do my civic duty by tuning into Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention. Unfortunately, about five minutes into it, he referenced the seminal '70s television show, Eight is Enough, and that just totally distracted me. The rest of the time I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had ALL of Obama's speech contained references to classic television shows. And thus formed the basis of a semi-liveblog between my friend Jash and me.
Our correspondence after the jump...
In honor of last night's Project Runway, which introduced America to the sassy yet demanding ways of drag queen Hedda Lettuce, I've decided to post this similarly bizarre ode to leafy greens: a license plate that says "I &hearts CHARD." Now, I'm sure we all love Swiss chard as much as the next person, but going so far as to immortalize your adoration in license plate form truly represents a passion above and beyond what the casual kale or escarole enthusiast would be able to muster. I've truthfully never encountered someone with such a rabid obsession with chard, but hey, I'm not going to turn my nose up at it — even though it is bat-sh*t crazy. Everyone's allowed to embrace the leafy green of their choice. In fact, I'd like to see more license plates boasting unfettered love for salad ingredients, if only to see how "dandelion greens" condenses down to an appropriate, DMV-approved length.
How can you tell you're in West Hollywood? Well, for starters, the yard sales are all FABULOUS and the license plates are, well, gay. Literally. Above, a sign my friends and I encountered on the street. After the jump, a license plate you really can't argue with...
I know what you all are saying: "B-Side, you write about Big Brother and Mad Men all the time. How about more German videos???"
Well, I've heard you loud and clear. Enjoy these German bloopers of Chancellor Angela Merkel, or as I like to call her, Angie Merks. I don't understand any of it, but it's in German and includes fart noises and slide whistles; so there's that.
Jessie from Big Brother 10 and Chris Kattan's Mr. Peepers from Saturday Night Live. It's not a perfect match, but somehow it works.
Thanks to A Fisher for the pic.
This past Saturday, I had to make my first ever visit to Apple's Genius Bar (a.k.a. help desk) as my poor little iMac seemed to have come down with the vapors. While I waited for my name to come up in the queue, I couldn't help but notice a strange young man standing nearby, aimlessly perusing the Apple Store's wares. What caught my attention was that he was wearing feminine jeans and a long, blonde wig. How odd, I thought. He sort of reminded me of YouTube sensation Chris Crocker, of "Leave Britney Alone!" fame, but as far as I knew Chris Crocker had short, streaked hair. I don't know why the thought of him wearing a wig was so out of the realm of possibilities — especially when this person was so obviously wearing a wig — but my mind wasn't thinking straight. I had an ailing computer to tend to.
Well, sure enough, the Apple people called out the next person in the Genius Bar queue.
"Chris C.? Chris C.?"
And just like that, the peculiar little ladyboy perked up and moseyed on over to the counter. INDEED IT WAS CHRIS CROCKER! Now, I don't want to say I was star-struck — it's more like the exact opposite — however, I couldn't help thinking how hilarious it was that I was basically standing at the Genius Bar next to one of the internet's biggest curiosities. If only Tay Zonday could have shown up too. It would have been like the Weezer video all over again. Anyway, I knew I had to capture this bizarre encounter; so I busted out my camera phone and did one of those "I'm on the phone, but not really because I'm TAKING A PICTURE OF YOU" moves. I don't think anyone noticed. The downside is that the image turned out to be pretty bad (you can only see his wig), but trust me, 'twas him.
I love Los Angeles.
Most parachuters like to land on grass. Some, however, like to touch down ON TOP OF A MILITARY BAND. That's right. Yesterday, during some sort of military event, a skydiver descended from on high and unfortunately landed amidst the brass section of one very unlucky marching band. To be fair, the guy didn't intend to ambush this unsuspecting musical platoon, but somewhere along the way, he drifted off course, thus turning what was supposed to be a charming afternoon of John Philip Sousa into a horrifying recreation of 'Nam. Luckily, no one was seriously injured, but two tubas appear to be headed towards honorable discharge as they've since become mangled in the wake of this airborne assault.
So take that as a lesson, intrepid marching bands. Next time you're ready to engage in some good ol' fashioned "Stars and Stripes Forever," remember to look into the skies. You never know when an errant skydiver will make you his next victim.
Oh, and in other skydiving news, NPR has this to report: "And, in upstate New York, Scott Listemann is looking for his artificial limb after it flew off as he was skydiving." So there's that too.
My good friend IndianJones recently issued this challenge to me: "Are there any posts tagged 'death' and 'funny'? That would be more useful."
I assume he's talking about physical death, not metaphorical death (such as the one suffered by the New England Patriots' dreams after their near perfect but ultimately failed 2007 season). Well, the answer is yes, death can be funny. Take, for instance, the case of Betty Neumar, an old lady who just so happens to have killed ALL FIVE OF HER PREVIOUS HUSBANDS (allegedly) since the 1950s. What makes it funny? Well, the mugshot for starters. Also, the fact that I discovered the story in a Scandinavian newspaper makes it pretty awesome too. I especially like the headline, "Alle Bettys fem menn er døde..." (Anything with an "ø" warms my heart). Bonus points for the story taking place in Albemarle, previously best known as the hometown of Kellie Pickler.
So there.
For more information on the curious case of Betty Neumar, click here. And to see the Scandinavian take, click here.
Lenny Stals takes a ride in the Mushroom Kingdom
In one of the stranger investigative reports that surfaced this weekend, The Feed writes that Nintendo has banned the name "Hitler" from being used in its online Mario Kart Wii universe, noting that perhaps a ranting, anti-Semitic, fascist mass-murderer might not totally mix with the more affable personalities of Mario, Luigi, and, of course, Toadette. Nevertheless, that didn't stop the good people at G4 from testing the limits of Nintendo's iron fist as they tried to go online with equally, if not more, horrendous dictators and terrorists. Long story short: Pol Pot is a master of the Moo Moo Meadows.
Get the full story here.
When it comes to Southern drawls, twangs, and everything in between, it's hard to top Sheila Kennedy from Big Brother 9. However, leave it to NPR's All Things Considered, champion of the rural human interest story, to dig up quite simply the twangiest dialect this side of Tammy Wynette. In fact, it's so twangy that it's hard not to think that we're listening to some sort of flaming back-country dandy farce.
But we're not. No, the verging-on-cartoony voice comes from Gary Linderman, a resident of Picher, Oklahoma. He believes his town is still worth living in, despite the "mountains" of toxic lead that litter the horizon and the hazardous underground mines that threaten to collapse at any minute. Making things worse, a recent tornado devastated over a hundred homes in the town, leaving most of Picher in utter ruin. The situation is so bad, the government is paying people to simply move out. But that won't be happening anytime soon, not if Gary Linderman has anything to say about it. Hearing his town pride in the face of tornados, sinkholes, and poisonous waste is hilariously amazing. I'm shocked the anchor is able to get through the entire interview without laughing. I know I can't, especially after Gary first says "tayowwwwn" and "sawftbaaawwwwls." Classic.
The full, twangy interview (replete with several charmingly yokel observations) can be found here (Click on the "Listen Now" link once you reach the page). It's worth it.
I just stumbled upon this article in Yahoo's "Oddly Enough" news department, and while I'm sure it's supposed to be amusing and heartwarming, I just found it troubling and sad. Okay, and amusing too. Basically, in 2006, a black swan named Petra fell in love with a paddleboat that resembles — you guessed it — a giant swan (a white one, to be specific). The two have been inseparable ever since. Well, almost inseparable. You see, Petra and her hunky boyfriend / boat were relocated to a local zoo where they've lived a storybook romance... until last week when a real life white swan entered the picture. This new suitor introduced Petra to the pleasures of the flesh, and soon, the old boat was given the heave-ho. At last, it seemed like Petra would be moving on from her awkward Lars and the Real Girl phase.
But in an inevitable twist, Petra's handsome new paramour up and left her to seek out the company of other black swans. When asked for a comment, the white swan merely stated, "Crazy bitch told me she spent the past two years dating a boat. A boat. That's just fucked up. I don't want my cygnets being dumb as rocks. Peace out, swan bitch."
Anyway, since being left at the proverbial altar, Petra has been visibly agitated, to the point where zookeepers fret that she's experiencing intense loneliness. Personally, I think she's just coming to the realization that she's a batshit loco swan who'll never live up to her mother's unreasonable expectations. The good news for her though was that on Friday, she was reunited with her inanimate boat lover, and thus her long-standing romance could resume. I guess it's sort of sweet and cute — until you realize how sadly delusional this bird is. [me whispering: psycho!]
For more on this kind of pathetic bird, click here.
Earlier today, I was looking at a picture of Abigail Breslin on Best Week Ever, and for some reason, her face struck me as being particularly Juliette Binoche-ish. I couldn't help wondering if it was just me, or if their faces were truly interchangeable. I busted out the Photoshop, and ten minutes later, I had the bizarre results.
Photos after the jump:
Last week, the above clip was featured on Digg and quickly became a viral hit. It's not the funniest video in the world and I still can't decide if it's fake or not, but I laughed anyway. The reason: it's in German. Yes, I've recently concluded that everything seems funnier when it's in German (unless, you know, it's archival footage from World War II), and this video is no exception. After watching it, I decided I needed to see more Teutonic craziness. So in an effort to find similarly amusing videos, I plundered the world of YouTube and came up with several notable clips — most of which are musical. I won't be so brazen as to call these the top German YouTube offerings of all time (because I've hardly scratched the surface), but I will, however, say that these videos are more or less hilarious.
I'd like to think that thirty years of a monastic lifestyle would help some people's karmic footprint, but in the case of Buddhist monk Reverend Seiji Handa, Nirvana is still a way off. The ill-fated religious man was unceremoniously killed by a runaway lawnmower, leaving all to wonder what this guy must have done to have received that nasty bit of karma. I mean, the guy was a monk. A monk! And he wound up dying like this? In a gruesome freak accident? I don't want to start rumors, but I think that someone must have cheated death on an airplane/highway/roller coaster. Am I right, Ali Larter?
• Runaway lawnmower kills Japanese Buddhist monk [Yahoo News]
When it comes to fascinating confessions, very few can top the latest divulgence from Los Angeles Times food critic, S. Irene Virbila. She writes today that despite a bleak childhood seemingly spent entirely at the ironing board, she has since found inner-peace by turning a once gloomy chore into an act of self-meditation. Her secret: she gives herself over to the all-healing powers of napkin ironing. Sure to be the hottest trend since aroma therapy, The Virbs unabashedly endorses this humble act of housecleaning, saying, "Somehow I find the act of smoothing those cloth squares with the hot iron oddly soothing."
To be fair, S. Irene wasn't always such an ironing fiend, but still, her penchant for all things serviette-related goes back a self-professed twenty years to the times when, as a young women, she'd troll the brocantes of Alsace, plucking out napkin sets with the reckless abandon of a junkie in search of a sweet, sweet fix. However, even after pillaging countless flea markets and sundry linen stores, S. Irene still only used the humble paper napkin at home, relegating her prized cloth napkins to a dusty drawer where they'd remain until a special occasion (ie. a fireside indulgence of caviar and buckwheat blinis). Then one day, S. Irene's sinful friend Mary led her down the rabbit hole of everyday cloth napkin usage, and the intrepid food reporter has never been the same since. In no time, S. Irene picked up her worrisome napkin ironing habit, and now it seems there's no turning back. "Such a daily pleasure," she writes. Fun.
• Napkins [Daily Dish]
Here's something to brighten your dreary afternoon. My friend Michelle hit up the Westminster Dog Show this weekend and filmed her exploits for Best Week Ever. The results are highly amusing. Or rather, if you're looking for an unfunny video, you're barking up the wrong tree. Ha, I kill me.
I like to think I have a highly evolved and mature sense of humor, but then I watch a video of an old lady getting hit in the face, and all delusions of sophistication dissolve in a fit of involuntary laughter. The backstory is that I came home from dinner last night, and when I turned on the TV, NBC was playing some dumb blooper special. I didn't even know what it was. All I saw was this woman on my screen giving a speech when suddenly the dreaded (read: hi-larious) accident occurred. Seriously, my friend and I watched this moment over and over again about fifty times, and somehow, it just got funnier. I really hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
Click to see search results.
Here's a curious bit of news. For whatever reason, a Google search for the words "comparing hillary and obama" places this site at #6 in the results. Huh? That's right, as of press time, I'm ranked higher than The New York Times, CBS News and The Huffington Post, to name a few. This can't be good for the state of America. After all, do we really need thousands of prospective voters coming to me for political insight? I BLOG ABOUT CANDY AND COUGARS. Then again, it would be refreshing to see Cadbury Creme Eggs get the political attention they always deserved.
Nevertheless, I am not complaining at all. I love the traffic. I want the traffic. I need the traffic. So, by all means, if you found this site through some unfortunate political sleuthing, I say welcome and enjoy (and don't worry, I do blog about more than candy and cougars).
And for those of you wishing to see the post that's drawing the attention, click here.
What's Super Tuesday without some super thong action to go with it. Here, courtesy of A Socialite's Life are the photos you've been dying for: John Mayer jogging in a Borat-esque, unitard-thong contraption (kind of NSFW, depending on how puritanical your employers are). Also worth checking out is Best Week Ever's coverage of "The Mayercraft Carrier" extravaganza from which these photos sprung forth.
• John Mayer Sports a Borat-Style, Butt-Floss Bathing Suit [A Socialite's Life]
• Best Week Ever's Mayercraft Carrier Coverage [BWE]
Some of you may have seen this already, but I thought I'd post it again just for the hell of it. About five years ago (oy), my friend Dan and I stumbled upon a massive anti-war demonstration in the heart of Hollywood the day before the Oscars. Luckily, we had a video camera with us, and so we happily documented the goings-on, thinking that we might just edit the footage together into a compelling five-minute video about, well, I don't know. Activism, maybe? Of course, it only took about two minutes of tinkering with Final Cut Pro before we decided to scrap the earnest filmmaking and instead attempt to make the shoddiest, most awful video in our power. Out went the plodding score, and in came Mike and the Mechanics. The rest just followed suit.
Most people will probably be scratching their heads at his, but I don't know — it makes me crack up every time.
I'm a little under the weather; so rather than compose a full post, I thought I'd just assemble some good old fashioned lovable links.
- Rachel Ray suffers at the hands of a vengeful, silence-seeking waiter. [midseasonreplacements]
- The Hills guide to Los Angeles. [Gridskipper]
- The Monte Carlo Casino in Vegas has caught on fire. So yeah, don't go to the top floor. [LA Times]
- And because you want more crazy, here is the full 45 minute long, uncut version of the Tom Cruise Scientology video. I confess, I haven't endeavored to watch the whole thing yet. [Digg]
According to the Live Mega Doppler 7000 on Los Angeles's reputable local ABC affiliate, KABC, we're in for quite the temperature spike on Sunday. Highs are going to hit 100 degrees in parts of Los Angeles, but that won't stop the snow. Why? Because snow in Los Angeles is MAGICAL!
I was a little bored today; so I decided to make a trailer mash-up of the upcoming Katherine Heigl film, 27 Dresses. I don't want to give away too much more than that, but for those of you who know me, this is the video I've been aching to make ever since I first got into blogging nearly four years ago. Enjoy.
"HONK!" If You Love Children's Theater
AND HOW! There's so much to love about this random, little blog post (which admittedly was published last July). There's the utterly unabashed, un-ironic enthusiasm of its headline; there's the ebullient comment of one Cookie Kubarek who writes "HONK! HONK!! HONK!!!" (note the steadily increasing use of exclamation points); there's the blog author who includes a dictionary link for the word "kvelling" (oy!); there's the fact that this production is actually called Honk!; and then there's the photo of our young, honk-worthy stars reaching a crescendo of music and emotion, as evidenced by their outstretched arms and open mouths. I particularly like the one kid in the glasses whose lack of theatrical rapture suggests that maybe he was foisted on this production by an over-eager stage mother (a stark contrast to the short boy on the right, who's clearly already in line for the next Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat audition).
If this post doesn't satisfy your sweet tooth, be sure to check out the rest of The Falls Village Blog, a hokey corner of the web that bills itself as "News, Gossip, and Opinion from Connecticut's Brigadoon." Yes, it's the ultimate small-town blog, boasting aggressively quaint pictures of frolicking children, old-fashioned fire trucks, and the ever so chic Country Couture fashion line, housed at Robin and Allen Cockerline's Whippoorwill Farm (I'm not making this up). The site is truly something out of a Norman Rockwell painting, which means it'll only be a matter of time before a some horrific scandal rocks its world. You know, like a black person moving to town.
Nevertheless, HONK! if you agree with me.
• "Honk!" If You Love Children's Theater [The Falls Village Blog]
In an icky story sure to give you the heeby-jeebies, a British newlywed couple discovered why they make such a natural, complementary pair: they're actually twins separated at birth. Party foul! Yes, the two anonymous siblings married, unaware of their shared genetic design until after they had swapped rings (and who knows what else). Of course, there were warning signs all along, most notably the bride's wedding vow, which stated, "You're more than a lover to me. You're like a brother." To which the groom replied, "Sometimes I feel almost as if we were two zygotes in the same woman's uterus." They then both laughed and said, "Well thank God THAT'S not the case! Give us a kiss, luv!" Nevertheless, the couple have already had their marriage annulled, and surely after a healthy bout of vomiting and therapy, they'll be back on the dating scene soon enough.
• Separated-at-birth twins get married [Yahoo News]
And for those of you wondering what the offspring of this sibling duo would have looked like, we have a projected image after the jump...
One of my favorite writers in the blogosphere is none other than S. Irene Virbila, the Los Angeles Times's head food critic. Her reviews are known for their brutal honesty ("It may be all right for a drink, but the confusing concept, lame cooking and general ineptness make Hidden a no-go zone for anybody who cares about food.") and their terse, understated outbursts of approval. ("Fun.") Personally, I love reading them. But what's even better are S. Irene's occasional posts to the LAT's food blog, Daily Dish. Her recent New Years entry, a lush glimpse into her world of fireside caviar binges and Provencal daubes, was an instant classic, but now, it seems as though The Virbs may have outdone herself.
In today's Daily Dish, Virbila extols the virtues of spices, specifically those which boast a certain tactile interactivity:
AND HOW! Who hasn't felt the toe-curling, orgasmic thrill of a well-employed microplane? The Virbs then goes on to explain her unorthodox method of keeping her spices unlabeled, thus allowing her to revel in the whimsical joys of sniffing out her unknown quarry. To some readers, this might reek of highfalutin, esoteric crap. To me, it's glorious.
•New Spices for a New Year [Los Angeles Times]
Click for full size
Sooooo Pakistan is on the verge of total chaos in the wake of Benazir Bhutto's tragic assassination, but fear not! According to CNN, it's time for parties! Yes, in an unfortunately juxtaposed bit of luck, the webmaster at CNN.com placed the headline "Time for Resolutions, Parties" smack in the middle of their Bhutto coverage, creating a somewhat discordant tone on their page. As important as it is for us to know about New Year's Live With Anderson Cooper, something tells me a more effective location for this promo would be, you know, NOT under the photo of a dead woman.
WELCOME. One of my favorite viral video stars, Brenda Dickson, is back with a very special Holiday Greeting for the world. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you may need to do some light but highly entertaining research. Brenda was a soap actress in the '80s, and with her fame expanding to the upper reaches of the stratosphere, she released an informative lifestyle home video that taught people how to dress, act, eat, and exercise like a star (ostrich feathers, anyone?). Twenty years later, that video has resurfaced, as well as a series of laugh-out-loud parodies. If you've never seen them, I've included all the essential clips after the jump. They'll be worth your time. If you have seen them, then enjoy the holiday message. Now get the hell out of here!
