Recently in Shilling Category

Shill time. I've got a new post up on DipDive — one that dares raise an issue that many Obama-heads might not appreciate. Here's the first paragraph:

Take a look around the urban landscape: t-shirts, murals, and posters all boast pop-art odes to Barack Obama. He attracts celebrity followers wherever he goes, and his mere name is enough to catapult nobodies into viral video stardom. The man, or rather The Man, has become a force unto himself, effectively plunging our country into a deep, unmitigated bout of Obamamania. There’s absolutely no denying it. People are fainting in his presence, dreaming in his absence, and generally gushing at all other times. Barack Obama has become the coolest thing ever — the closest thing to a Beltway matinee idol we’ve seen in quite some. So here’s the question: is Obama himself actually cool?

Continue reading Urkel-bama? ».

Hey y'all [said in Paula Deen voice]. I've written another post for DipDive.com, and this one focuses on Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain's respective cookie recipes — apparently the key to this election. Anyway, I'm curious as to how these recipes will turn out, but I'm not sure if I have the patience (or capacity) to make them myself. Any intrepid bakers out there feel like taking them on? Nevertheless, voice your opinion in the comments, and in the meantime, here's the intro to my article...

When it comes to predicting elections, we can refer to our usual tools of prognostication — charts, maps, trends, stats, data, logic, common sense — or we can turn to a more reliable bellwether: cookies. Yes, those small, innocuous, and oft-times heavenly morsels of greatness can hold the key to elections.

While seemingly unrelated to politics, it turns out that there’s a very special link between cookies and Presidential ascendancy. For the past four elections, the readers of Family Circle magazine have accurately predicted the next President based on the cookie recipes of the candidates’ wives. Whoever has had the more popular cookie has gone on to win the whole shebang. Why? Not sure. Maybe it’s because a scrumptious cookie recipe speaks of a candidate’s good judgment. After all, what candidate would ever allow a substandard cookie to represent him on the campaign trail? Anyone that abides by such silliness surely can’t be fitting for the White House. (Of course, by this logic, Ina Garten could power her husband Jeffrey into the Oval Office without a problem; so, as you can see, the theory is a bit flawed.)

Continue reading COOKIE MONSTERS: Michelle and Cindy Get Their Baking On ».

Well, after a long fought and riveting battle, it looks as though Barack Obama has finally vanquished the Clinton Thunder, which is good news for some, disappointing news for others. I can't even imagine what Hillary Clinton must be feeling right now — assuming she's accepted her inevitable fate. Odds are she still thinks she has a chance, which is why I'm even more empathetic to the poor bastard that must break the news to her that for all intents and purposes, it's over. Needless to say, I wouldn't want to be that person.

How exactly does one approach Senator Clinton and break the bad news to her? Is it even possible without her inflicting bodily harm? I'm not so sure. But I have some ideas of how to go about such an onerous job, and I've conveniently written them up at DipDive (shill shill shill). Here's the first paragraph:

There are many thankless, uncomfortable, and downright terrifying jobs in the world but none might be as singularly difficult and scary as having to face down Hillary Clinton and inform her that yes, it’s over. I don’t know who that person is or will be, but I don’t envy their position. The fact is that someone on Hillary’s staff will probably have to draw the short straw, and when that time comes, he or she better be prepared.

Continue reading LIFE TO HILLARY CLINTON: Wah Wah Waaaaah ».

Time to shill again. I've written yet another column for Dipdive, and this one centers on Barack Obama's assertion that videogames shouldn't be raising our children. To that I say PISH-POSH! Videogames can be fine parental substitutions. It's all about finding the right titles. And what titles would those be? Funny you should ask. I have a list of them in the article. Here's the introduction:

Two weeks ago, when Grand Theft Auto IV first hit the shelves, Barack Obama noted that the game would earn “goo-gobs of money” (and yes, that is a scientific term). He also warned that “these video games are raising our kids,” and then went on to say that it was “our” job (not sure if he meant society or just his campaign) to inspire The Kids’ “thirst for knowledge. It’s a noble cause, but as someone whose childhood was shaped by the finer nuances of Pac-Man , Zelda, and the brothers Mario, I took slight umbrage at the suggestion that those of us who partake in pixilated entertainment might somehow contribute to the downfall of society. Granted, gaming nowadays is a bit different than it was in the 80s. Back then, the only learned habits an impressionable youth might come away with would be an unwavering desire to save princesses from apes, turtles, and the occasional fantastical wizard. Needless to say, it was harmless stuff.

The truth is that the youngin’s are always gonna veer towards video games. If Obama wants the next generation to ascend to new academic heights, then maybe he shouldn’t fight the gamers but join them. That’s why I propose a groundbreaking series of games aimed at giving teenagers the visceral thrill of a headshot along with the satisfying rush of The Economist.

Here’s a sampling of what to expect:

Continue reading 'Super Obama Brothers?' »

Gosh, there was so much American Idol this week, and very little of it was actually any good. Quite frankly, I'm a bit exhausted from it all, and I haven't even seen the results show yet (although, I know who was ejected). I'm gonna work on a little wrap up this morning, but while you wait for it — and I know you are ALL waiting for it eagerly — check out this other Idol piece I just wrote for Dipdive. Heck, I'll even give you the first paragraph here:

When American Idol aired its second annual charity special, Idol Gives Back, earlier this week, the producers seemed to go out of their way to cram as many celebrity cameos as humanly possible into the mammoth show. Yet despite an accommodating two-and-a-half hour running time, there were at least three people who still were left out of the fun. That’s right, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John McCain were nowhere to be seen, instead relegated to the proverbial sidelines that was Thursday’s results show. It sort of seemed like a bizarre snub. Surely these three Presidential candidates had enough clout to warrant a place on the main stage, but I guess Fox felt other celebrities were more valuable for fundraising needs. And honestly, I kind of agree. I mean, out of all the stars that took the stage, who would you turn away?

Continue reading 'AMERICAN IDOL' TO POLITICAL CANDIDATES: And You Are?? ».

Be warned: this song will get crazy crazy stuck in your head.

A few weeks ago, I shamelessly plugged my friends' video, which was competing in YouTube's "Sketchies II" competition. Well, your assistance worked — they sailed into the finals, and now they're just inches away from taking the whole prize.

For this last round of competition, they had to create a video whose theme was "Living The Dream," and additionally, they had to work in the word "Indubitably." YouTube -- you so crazy with your wacky vocab! Anyway, I actually think this new video is better than the last one, and that's not just me kissing up to three hot women. If you're feeling generous, head on over to YouTube and give them a vote. Like last time, you can only vote once a day, and like last time, the process is slightly convoluted. Here's how to do it:

1) Go to www.YouTube.com/sketchies2
2) See the video player on the right? Enter "Unfamous" in the search box below
3) Click on the small icon that pops up below the search box
4) When the video appears, click thumbs up.

You can also give negative votes to the competitors — not that I would EVER engage in such dirty tactics. Anyway, hope you like the video. Oh, and my friend says that winning this contest could mean the survival of their site, WhateverHollywood. So, you know, NO PRESSURE.

With Heidi Montag's ringing endorsement of John McCain last week, one has to wonder which MTV reality stars will the other candidates be courting in their bid for White House supremacy. I delve into this deeply important topic in my latest article for DipDive, the new site from will.i.am (yes, yes, I've mentioned the site before, but there are a lot of new readers these days; so let me shill in peace).

Be sure to check out my MTV-themed post, and while you're there, you can also read my article about dream analysis — something I regretfully forgot to shill when it was first published. Leave a comment too!

• They Want Their MTV [DipDive]

• They Had A Dream [DipDive]

With the all too early exit of Amanda Overmyer from American Idol, I couldn't help but get downright introspective. What sort of a world is this where smokey-voiced, sartorially challenged singers can't find a mass market in America anymore? It's not, right I tell you. It's not!

Seriously, I was bummed that Amanda got the heave-ho last night. She was never destined to win the competition, but I loved her growly voice, her attitude, and, dare I crib a word from Paula, her authenticity. Plus, she was a nice change from the morose ballads of David Archuletta and Rambutan. Oh well.

Since the reality of another Kristy Lee Cook performance is all too harsh for people who are fans of "music" and "in tune singing," I provide you with this distraction to help you through the day. It's my latest contribution for Dipdive, and it dares to ask, "What Can Candidates Learn from American Idol?" OOOOH.

Check out all the goodness here.

My friends, er, Apple, Suri, and Shiloh — the girls behind Whateverhollywood.com —  have submitted a video for YouTube's Sketchies II competition, and it's made its way all the way to the top twenty. I urge you all strongly to vote for their submission, titled "Shopping Cart," and help them win the grand prize: $25,000 and a meeting with a major talent agency. Their video is actually pretty funny, and besides, who wouldn't want to see some hot girls banging on drums in a shopping cart?

Now, before you head over to YouTube to do your good deed of the day, here are some things to keep in mind: you can vote once a day until Wednesday, March 19. Also, the voting process is not the most straightforward. It's not hard, mind you. It's just that there's no direct link to vote on their video. You'll be able to figure it out on your own, but if you don't feel like bothering with trial and error, simple directions after the jump.

Okay, this headline is a mild exaggeration, but as some of you know, Will.I.Am -- lead singer of the Black Eyed Peas -- has started up a new website titled DipDive, and I'm honored to say that I've been invited to contribute to it. My first post went up this morning; so by all means, go over there and check it out!

• Falling For Obama [DipDive]

Hard to believe, but this recreation of R2D2 is not made of plastic. It is 100% edible. That's right, ladies and gents. You're looking at a cake. Of course, sugary recreations of R2D2 are nothing new to this planet, but one sample search of "R2D2 Cake" on Google Images reveals that this might just be the best version ever.

Now, before you put your hands on your hips and give me the skeptical Mo'nique face, rest assured that this is no prank. I can vouch personally for this fondant masterpiece. Turns out it was actually created by my friend Mark Randazzo, a professional baker who just set up shop in NYC. And the answer is YES, I am shilling for him, but for good reason. I mean, look at that damn cake!!! If you're not convinced, check out the cakes at his new site, markjosephcakes.com. I guarantee you'll be impressed.

Very few people reserve the title "VIP" for me. It's mostly just my mom and dad and the occasional Hallmark card. However, despite my perpetual outsider status, I have risen to the VIP ranks thanks to the glorious travel website, Hotelchatter.com. Part of the SFO Media empire, the site boasts a wide variety of news, reviews and features on hotels around the world, and recently I was invited to contribute my own article about my experiences in Paris. Little did I realize that I would be labeled a VIP Hotel Reviewer. Hey, I'll take what I can get. And yes, I will be flaunting that title in every hotel lobby, bar, and valet station that I can find. Holiday Inn —  you best be prepared.

Anyway, for those of you who wish to read about my hotel lodgings in Paris, feel free to click the link below.

• TV Buff Finds Cheap Lodging in the Heart of Paris' Latin Quarter [HotelChatter]

Back in September, I went on a highfalutin jaunt to Paris with some friends, and while there, we had lunch at a cozy, New York Times-recommended bistro called Chez Michel. The meal was delicious — some of the best mussels I've ever had — but nothing could prepare me for the cheese plate I had ordered for dessert. Turns out the plate was less a of plate and more of a miniature fromagerie. No dainty slices of brie here — just giant blocks of cheese. It could have fed ten people. We were all so shocked when this leviathan offering of dairy products descended on the table that I immediately whipped out my camera and snapped a quick photo.

Little did I realize this offhand pic would soon become the toast of the Internet. Okay, maybe that's an overstatement. It's only been viewed twenty times. BUT I was most honored when the editors of the online travel resource Schmap contacted me about using the photo in their latest Paris guide. I'm not going to lie: I was floored, and I don't even know why. It's cool and everything, but when I received the email, I literally felt like I had been nominated for an Academy Award. I think it's because it was like two in the morning, and I was tired and/or delirious. Nevertheless, I've since come down from my Schmap-induced high, but I remain quite flattered that the editors saw artistry (or at least functionality) in my pic. To check out the photo in all its Schmappy context, click here.

Oh, and as for the cheese, it was quite tasty. We quickly deduced that it was indeed a traveling plate, meant for consumption by multiple tables. Probably not the most sanitary of practices, but oh so very European!

• Chez Michel [Schmap!! Paris]

This morning, Mike at Franklin Avenue was kind enough to give this blog an enormous plug, and in the spirit of giving (after all, today IS National Bubble Bath Day), I've decided to pay it forward by pimping out one of my friend's websites. The friend: Anna David. The site: AnnalyticalAnswers.com. Anna is an accomplished journalist and a prolific talking head (we became friends thanks to many bouts of banter at the Reality Remix Roundtable), and these days, she's probably most recognizable as the resident sex expert on G4's Attack of the Show. Her new site focuses on this latter role as she takes questions from sexually confounded people (mostly men) and provides them with, you guessed it, answers (hence, Annalytical Answers). Scattered amongst the entries are clips of Anna's new Attack of the Show segment, "In Your Pants," which feature Anna strutting mightily down the sidewalks of Manhattan, doling out advise to hapless young men in need of some fine tuning (such as one obstinate guy who wanted to force his girlfriend onto The Pill so he wouldn't have to wear a condom anymore. Douche). The videos are fun times indeed, but even better — and here comes some real pimping —  is Anna's book, Party Girl. It's a semi-autobiographical novel about a party-girl reporter whose coke-snorting, Hollywood fast-lane lifestyle lands her in rehab. I've read it, and I can attest that it's not only very funny (I did truly laugh out loud a few times), but its insights into the world of rehab are surprisingly interesting — I just assumed all the party stuff would be the best part of the book. Not necessarily true.

Anyway, you now all have your reading for the day cut out for you. I'm gonna go eat a bagel. As they say, pimpin' ain't easy.