Ain’t no vacation like a Real Housewives of New York City vacation. Just as the bitches from Orange County never fail to bring their A-Game to season finales and reunions, these New Yorkers always school everyone when it comes time for an international jaunt. To this day, none of the Housewives have been able to top “Scary Island” (despite several valiant efforts in South Africa, the Dominican Republic, and Hawaii).
Now we have St. Barth’s, which has given us a nice smorgasbord of ridiculousness. First, there were Ramona and Sonja barking orders at the house staff for pool noodles. Then there was Round 37 of the Great Toaster Oven Photo Shoot Debacle of 2011 (Carole — quickly becoming one of the funniest housewives ever — noted that Sonja’s toaster oven remains the most talked of toaster oven that no one has actually seen). The real fun of the hour came, however, when the girls headed off to a night of heavy drinking at a local watering hole. We met a certain Johnny Depp lookalike named Tomas, and it wasn’t long before LuAnn was swinging her pirate booty in his direction. Shockingly, the Bravo cameras apparently shut off at midnight, which meant we totally missed the following escapades (the second major miss of the episode following Heather walking straight into a glass door).
According to the women of the house, LuAnn brought back Tomas. This was actually verified by LuAnn herself, who spilt the beans to her friend in French (did she not think there were any interpreters at Bravo? Then again, her accent is so bad it’s a miracle that anyone understood what she was saying). LuAnn, however, hilariously maintained a façade that she had run into a group of old Italian friends. None of them had names or identities, but apparently they were a great time. We’ll have to wait until next week for Ramona to grill Tomas about his illicit encounter. Until then, here’s the photocap…
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