BIG BROTHER FINALE PHOTOCAP: Ain’t No One Coming Between Her and Her Prize

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The confetti has fallen. The seats have emptied. The house has been cleared out. Big Brother 13 is over, and another season is behind us. It’s taken me a day to get around to this photocap — not because I’m curled up in a ball of sadness, but because in the wake of the finale, I realized I simply needed a day to rebound from thirteen intense weeks of Big Brother. When Julie signed off for the last time, it was like my brain quietly signed off also. My mental ability to think, write, or talk about Big Brother ceased to exist. We spend a lot of energy on this show, and when it ends, it feels good to just… release.

Oh, but how could one truly release when there was so much good stuff on display? There was Adam hilariously thinking he could have ever won this game. There was Porsche wearing what appeared to be a tablecloth from a Boca Raton yard sale. There was Chenbot stumbling over every fifth word. And there was Rachel, decked out like a mermaid waitress, ready to earn her place in Big Brother history.

What more can be really said about the finale? I sure as hell can’t think of anything (although I’m sure there’s plenty to discuss). Consider this blogger officially tapped out. One last lengthy photocap after the jump… Continue reading

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Vetted Out

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It was another twisty-turny sequence of events on last night’s penultimate episode of Big Brother 13. Coming into Thursday’s show, it seemed as though the vets were about to walk away with victory, but as Julie so often warns us: we should expect the unexpected…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Sharks and Floaters

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We’re coming down to the wire on Big Brother, and I find myself torn in many ways. On the one hand, I’ve found myself rooting for Rachel out of all people. After all, she is the unquestionable star of the season (as she was last year), and despite her ridiculous histrionics, she’s actually played a pretty strong game — albeit with some assists from the producers. With Brendon gone, she’s mellowed out quite a bit, and while I still can’t endorse her perpetual witch hunt against floaters, I gotta give it to Rachel that she really deserves to win this thing.

But then there’s the side of me that just loves twists and turns, and for as much as I’m wanting Rachel to win, I’m also rooting for a total reversal of fortune. I love me some underdogs, and if this thing comes down to two Veterans battling it out, I just won’t be happy. That’s why at the end of the day, I was hoping for nominees Kalia and Porsche to come off the block on Wednesday’s show. And for that to happen, we had to rely on Adam.

Effin’ Adam.

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In Defense of ‘Big Brother 13′

A lot of people in the comments section on this site and elsewhere on the Internet have been totally ragging on season thirteen of Big Brother, and while it’s hardly as good as some of the past iterations, I don’t think it’s at the bottom of the pile as some people suggest. Just think back one year ago when we were faced with the dullest season since the first. 2010′s competition saw a group of players so unwilling to scheme or think critically that an alliance of buffoons managed to bamboozle the entire house and take home the victory. There were no power shifts last year. There was no high drama. It was all Brigade, all the time.

For what it’s worth, this season has seen a decent roller coaster of power and emotion. Granted, some of that may have been caused by producer interference, but it has nonetheless been entertaining watching the Newbies and the Vets duel it out all summer. Still not convinced? Just look at the drama that’s unfolded… Continue reading

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Spelling Out Victory for the Vets

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Not much happened on Sunday’s episode of Big Brother 13. We found out who won HOH, but it wasn’t that surprising based on how things were shaping up at the end of Thursday’s live show. SPOILER ALERT: it was Rachel. With her in power, we knew how everything would shake up: two Kalia and Porsche would most likely wind up on the block and the producers would once again try to mislead us into thinking that Rachel’s hatred for floaters would lead to Adam being nominated. Sure enough, that’s what happened, and thus an hour was spent reaching this rather dull and predictable conclusion.

Luckily, the producers had some tricks up their sleeves. They reintroduced Pandora’s Box, this time with the tempting lure of Tori Spelling. Who can deny that? Probably most anyone (except Adam), and quite frankly, I was rather surprised that Rachel opened the box given how it totally derailed Porsche’s game the week before. The conspiracy theorist in me believes that the producers told her off the record that this would be a harmless twist. Say what you will about Rachel, she’s pretty shrewd when it comes to gameplay, and she wasn’t going to sacrifice her power position for anyone except Booki.

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Man Down?

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It’s the homestretch people, and after last night’s eviction episode of Big Brother, one of the two remaining men would be going home. Oh I just KEED. Shelly is not a man. But I’m not entirely convinced she’s a woman. At the very least, I know she could kick my ass (unless said ass-kicking required some sort of competitive element — then all bets would be off). Anyway, it was down to The Shellster and Adam (who?), and while I thought this would be a rather straightforward outcome, it turns out that I wasn’t totally correct…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Hanging In There

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At the end of Sunday’s episode of Big Brother, the ever curious Porsche decided to jeopardize her entire game for $5,000 by opening Pandora’s Box. In the process she managed to unleash a heinous twist on the house: duos were back for one week, which meant that pairs would be nominated as a whole and saved as a whole. Clearly, this was to the advantage of Jordan and Rachel, the presumed nominees, who now had a shot of both skating away Scot free this week. Did everything shake out the way they (and the producers) wanted it? Results after the jump…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Getting Caught in a Shelly Game

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There was so much great reality TV on Sunday: Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of New Jersey, and of course Big Brother, which aired one of its finest episodes of the season. It all centered around the MAJOR DRAMZ of Thursday’s live double-eviction show, which has since sent the house into a tailspin. To be fair, the house was already downwardly spiraling as we saw in a fascinating pre-eviction argument that CBS aired on last night’s episode. This marked the first time Big Brother has so extensively gone backwards in its timeline to present us with valuable story points, and I applaud the decision. Last night’s episode was all sorts of juicy, providing us with much-needed context to continued rift between Shelly and Jeff.

Last week, I commended Shelly’s decision to think for herself and turn against Jeff and Jordan. I still think she made the right move, but man did she screw up the execution. Basically, The Shellster got called out by Jeff, and rather than ‘fess up to it, she hemmed and hawed and tried to blame everyone else. Oh Shelly. Shelly Shelly Shelly. Here I was trying to defend you, and you had to go be a bonehead.

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Double The Eviction, Double The Drama

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It was the episode of the season! Last night was double eviction night on Big Brother, that glorious once-a-season event that has the houseguests scrambling to make sense of everything all at once while competing in a week’s worth of events in under and hour. It’s one of my favorite episodes of each season, which is why I was utterly LIVID that someone full on spoiled it for me two hours before it aired on the West Coast (more specifically, six minutes after it finished airing on the East Coast). Clearly I’m still very bitter. VERY. I know it was an accident, but like the people stuck in the house, I am very frequently not able to think rationally and without emotion at the height of Big Brother season.

Nevertheless, even having everything RUINED for me, it still was a very fun episode full of twists and turns, and in the end, we were left with a very peculiar final six. It’s going to be a fascinating run to the finale…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Zingbot Returns, Calls Shelly a Dude

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The Zingbot 3000 made its triumphant return to the Big Brother house last night, and maybe it was just me, but he was even more brutal than last year. The caustic robot made fun of Jeff’s soul patch, Porsche’s ass, Dani’s daddy insecurities, Shelly’s manliness, and much more. I was a little surprised — in a good way.

As excellent as it was to have the Zingbot back, I felt like something else overshadowed the episode in a bad way. It’s time to have an intervention with the producers. Here goes:

We know you feed the guests lines. Please stop.

Look, we’re not idiots. We can tell when a line has been scripted. Maybe you’ve been doing this all along, and it’s worked out just fine, but this current cast is so TERRIBLE at reciting their lines that it’s actually distracting. It’s like watching a high school attempt at a Christopher Guest movie. Not good. I totally understand that in the Diary Room, some of these people might ramble and as a result, the producers have to consolidate their words into a TV-friendly soundbyte, but I’d much rather go back to the days of “Frankenbytes” because at least even if the rhythm were messed up, the inflection still sounded authentic. Nowadays, with Jeff cracking a half-smile with everyone one of his lines and Daniele lilting her voice and shrugging her shoulders for the camera, it all just feels ridiculous. I’m totally distracted, and I’m sure everyone else is too. So please, Alison Grodner & Company, ease up on the lines. These people are not good enough actors to pull it off.

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