AND WHATNOT: Terrell Owens Is A Bengal! Also, A New ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Member, Premature Panda Death, and Violence Against Kittens

D-Listed: DUDES: Tom Hardy Has Done A Couple
Food2: Fattiest Foods from the Fifty States
LAist: Fired Employee Set Bondage Club Ablaze, Killing Owner Inside
Starcasm: PHOTOS Big Brother’s Rachel Reilly was a ‘Las Vegas Go Girl’
Socialite Life: Madonna Shows Taylor Momsen How To Strike A Pose!
LA Now: Two Sylmar sisters sought after woman dies from silicone injection in buttocks
ESPN: Source: Owens agrees with Bengals (awesome)
Telegraph: Chinese zoo accidentally gasses giant panda to death (thanks Malibu Judie!)
Black Voices: Former NBA Player Lorenzen Wright’s Body is Found in the Woods
LA Now: Off-duty Marine accused of throwing kitten at wall
Movieline: TCA: How Julie Chen Plans to Channel Cedric the Entertainer on Her New Talk Show
Vulture: Meet the New Jersey Shore Cast Member
LAist: Spend 3 Happy Hours Drinking 1-Cent PBR
Socialite Life: Live & In Concert: Aretha Franklin & Condoleez Rice Take On Philly!

Mel Gibson Is Crazier Than Ever (And Also In Need of Some Cardio)

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If Thursday’s Mel Gibson rant wasn’t quiiiiite crazy / scary / disturbing enough for you, well, guess what? You’re in luck! There’s a brand new recording of the superstar, and this time it’s 50% more frightening. This time around, the disgraced actor spends a good seven minutes yelling, berating, and generally acting SCARY AS SHIT towards estranged girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. When Mel is screaming at the top of his lungs, he’s panting in the most ominous way, perhaps suggesting that this breathless actor may need to hit the treadmill before his next lunatic screed. I mean, what’s the point of calling someone a “dysfunctional cunt” if you can’t even follow it up with accusatory silence? Nevertheless, Mel certainly makes his point (he’s crazy) and even semi-confesses to punching Oksana in the face, breaking two of her teeth while she’s HOLDING A BABY.

The good news is that we now finally have an apt contender for the much anticipated Mommy Dearest sequel; although, as much as I do enjoy Mel Gibson as the modern day Joan Crawford, we all must admit that his all-too-real murderous rage is perhaps just a shade too scary at the moment. I can only imagine the hell his assistant must endure on a daily basis.

Nevertheless, to hear the damning audio, check out the link below to Radar Online’s exclusive coverage. Oh, and if you’re at work, you might want to plug some earphones in.

Radar Online: EXCLUSIVE NEW AUDIO: Mel Gibson Admits Hitting Oksana, Threatens To Kill Her – Listen To It Here

Thanks to jash for the head’s up.

Mel Gibson Has A Way With Words

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Great news! The latest crazy, racist rant from Mel Gibson has surfaced on the Interwebs, and it’s all the psychotic zaniness one could hope for. Mellers delivers us a hefty dose of misogynistic, obnoxious screeds, topped with a cherry of racism. It’s all directed at his now ex-girlfriend/baby-mama Oksana Grigorieva, whose hefty bosom apparently is the bone of much contention.

As these things go, it’s not as shockingly awful as the epic Michael Richards meltdown, nor is it as amusingly ridiculous as Christian Bale’s famous tantrum. However, it’s all quite the chilling experience as one realizes that this man is not only bat-shit crazy (established for some time now), but also totally controlling, scary, and vaguely homicidal behind closed doors. On the plus side, he’s refrained from any anti-Semitic comments.

Progress is progress!

To hear Mel Gibson’s rant, check out the audio here.