REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: We Waited Two Weeks For THIS?

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After two weeks off, The Real Housewives of Atlanta returned on Sunday, and maybe it was just me, but this episode was about as boring as it gets. Almost nothing interesting happened, save for Kandi’s songwriting session with JoDee Messina, which proved fascinating in the way that all of Kandi’s professional scenes have proven to be fascinating. I almost feel like she deserves a spin-off where we watch her working with artists because it’s a hell of a lot more compelling than most of the other stuff we were stuck with. Phaedra continued to investigate a second career as a funeral home owner; Kim continued to pack up for her move (when WILL that happen already?); Nene played dress-up and pretended to be a high class lady; Sherayay did yoga; and Cynthia and Peter fought again over nothing particularly noteworthy. The big takeaway on that front was that Peter doesn’t like being called a dinosaur and will only compliment Cynthia when forced to by a pastor. Great.

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: A Laborious Episode

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Ladies and gentlemen: The Zolciak has spawned again. Yes, Kim gave birth to her baby boy KJ on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but despite the high drama that accompanies such activities, I couldn’t help but think this latest installment was a snoozefest. I literally dozed off at one point, which may have less to do with the show and more to do with the fact that I had been in Vegas earlier in the day, but still, I like to think these ladies could keep me awake regardless of my exhausted state.

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA: Bar One Is Atlanta’s Hottest Club!

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A few observations from this past week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta:

1) Somehow, Phaedra has become one of my favorite housewives. She’s ridiculous, but she’s also hilarious, and this season, she’s eased up on the bullshit (ie. claiming she was at full term after six months of pregnancy). Now what we have a jolly woman who happily delivers lopsided cakes and a comforting coo of “Giiiiiiiiiirlllll!” Plus, while I’ve yet to actually see her legal chops in action, I do love her vigilant attitude in defending Sherayay from both her dubious contractor and her deadbeat husband. The fact that she also scatters each episode with a dozen hilarious observations doesn’t hurt either.

2) For all her ridiculousness, Kim Zolciak has also emerged as a more likable force this season. Dare I say that Kroy truly has grounded her, even if it’s just a shade? I’m glad to see her reined in from the spoiled diva precipice she seemed so close to teetering over last season.

3) Nene has become fairly obnoxious, but she’s still so flamboyantly amusing that it’s impossible to write her off entirely.

4) Bar One seems to be a most ill-advised business venture. First things first: after Peter’s Uptown Club failed last season, Cynthia assured us that her husband had moved on to a much smaller venue. I was so naive to think the space would be a narrow bar, much like many a cute New York City watering holes. Nope. As far as I could tell, this was a full-on house with multiple rooms (none of which seemed ready for the “preview” that we witnessed this week). I’m not sure Peter knows the meaning of small. He might not even know the meaning of “business savvy.” Either way, the place was a disaster — no air conditioning, ugly decor, horrific location. Call it personal snobbery, but I generally hate bars and restaurants that feel like the inside of a home (there are exceptions of course). Everything about this place seems destined to fail, but then again, as Phaedra noted, even people in the hood need someplace to drink…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: The Chronicles of Redickulous

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Not a lot happened on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kim complained about being pregnant again. Cynthia’s husband and her sister bickered. And Sherayay and Phaedra hilariously made a contractor sweat. That was pretty much it. Oh, and Kandi held a birthday party that featured a stripper fellating himself.

Yes, the real buzzworthy moment of the episode was the appearance of Redickulous, a humble gent who emerged from a giant gift-wrapped box and proceeded to whip around his sizable manhood in all directions. Some of the women squealed with delight, and some, like Nene, clutched their pearls and expressed shock and dismay (we all know that secretly they were foaming at the mouth). One woman who was not pleased by presence of Sir Redickulous was Joyce, Kandi’s lovable mother. She began screaming at Kandi, and while I thought Joyce’s reaction was a bit over the top, she did have a point. This wasn’t some bawdy bachelorette party. It was a generally classy affair (as classy as these events can be), and it truly wasn’t the place for a stripper. But… as long as he was there, why now enjoy it, Joyce? There was clearly more than enough of him to go around.

Photocap after the jump…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: Kim Has A Classy Baby Shower

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I skipped the photocap for last week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta because honestly nothing happened the entire episode. It was a full-on snoozefest. In fact, all I can seem to remember was that NeNe looked at a house in Miami that was clearly way beyond her means. She keeps talking about all this cashola she’s received from The Apprentice, but I can’t imagine it was more than enough to pad Brent’s college fund.

Nevertheless, there were more interesting things going on this week. Kim decided to hold a lavish baby shower that felt more like a wedding than anything else. Phaedra was quick to point out that it was Kim who had derided such over the top pageantry last season, but then again, as overly formal as Kim’s shower was, at least it didn’t feature any interpretive dance.

Actually, I found Kim’s party to be rather endearing, what with Brielle’s lovely speech dedicated to her mom and Kroy. It was one of two moving scenes involving kids (the other being Brent’s heartbreaking reaction to Nene and Greg being separated). Nevertheless, I gotta admit that while Kim is still a ridiculous idiot, I do sense that she seems a bit more grounded with Kroy in her life. Dare I say that she’s actually becoming likable?

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: Are We Sure This Isn’t ‘Drag Race’?

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The bitches are back! The Real Housewives of Atlanta have returned, and it’s more flamboyant than ever. Seriously, I’m partially convinced that this is a show based purely on the lives of drag queens in Atlanta. Between the wigs, the diva attitude, the makeup, and the men in women’s accessories, it’s hard to believe there are any XX chromosomes on screen. Even Kroy looks like a beefy Ellen DeGeneres.

It’s all par for the course for Atlanta, the most outlandish and ridiculous of all the Real Housewives. The whole gang is back, including the terminally boring Cynthia, who is now following in the footsteps of Janice Dickinson and starting up her own fake modeling agency. The goal is to make Atlanta a fashion capital of the world, and quite frankly I’m shocked that the city doesn’t already have that lofty status, given that it’s the homebase for such visionary lines as She by Shereé and Closet Freak.

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Discussing The Real Housewives of Miami, Atlanta, and Beverly Hills



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In case you missed today’s episode of Off Script, I was once again joined by TVgasm’s Flipit (a.k.a. Ronnie Karam) as we talked about the upcoming premiere of Real Housewives of Miami as well as the season finale of Atlanta and the reunion for Beverly Hills. We also devote a significant amount of time railing on Cedric, as well as many others. Be sure to check it out, and tune in next Wednesday at 12:30 PST for the next episode. You can watch it live at http://talkmedianetworks.com/live/ and even call in!

Hope you enjoy!

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: Here Comes The Boredom

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After a joyfully delirious season featuring some of the funniest moments of the franchise, The Real Housewives of Atlanta ended on a positively boring note this past Sunday. Not only did Bravo criminally draw out this final episode into ninety unnecessary minutes, but everything focused on arguably the most boring couple on the show: Peter and Cynthia. Now don’t get me wrong: I actually like Cynthia and find her stories to be somewhat more interesting than everyone else does, but that being said, the woman just cannot anchor a ninety minute season finale. Total snoozeville.

Even worse was this contrived drama about whether she would or wouldn’t leave her man at the alter. Spoiler alert: there were already spoiler alerts that they done got married last summer. No suspense here. Furthermore, while I did find Cynthia’s crumbling financial situation in the face of her extravagant wedding to be fascinating, I didn’t for one moment think it wasn’t going to happen. I mean, when you’ve got a dinosaur skeleton ready to serve as your hupa, you’re not canceling that shit.

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More Banter About The ‘Housewives’

Hey everyone — I just recorded another videocast with none other than Ronnie Karam (a.k.a. Flipit) from TVgasm. We talked exclusively about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and The Real Housewives of Atlanta; so be sure to check out the show up above. Next week, there might even be a call in feature…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: Nene Revs Up Her Miami Sound Machine

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When we last caught up with The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Nene and Kim were in the midst of an loud, angry, and generally silly brawl about Kim’s alleged manner of addressing her assistant, Sweetie. Nene didn’t like the way Kim treated her; Kim felt it was none of Nene’s business. They were both right, but ultimately, it truly was none of Nene’s business, which is why everyone was puzzled as to why she was so fired up about it. That being said, it was clear the fight was about more than just Kim’s demeanor. Nene had unfinished business and unresolved emotion with her frenemy, and it all spilled out in not just last week’s imbroglio but also about five different impasses on last night’s episode.

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