‘Famous Food’ Trailer Promises D-List Dining Disaster

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Is there life after reality star fame? On VH1 there is. Introducing Famous Food, the show that brings together such luminaries as Heidi Montag, Danielle Staub, and Ashley Dupre and lets them battle for the chance to work for Mike Malin, a.k.a. Boogie from Big Brother. If that seems like a strange prize, don’t scoff just yet: Mike is partners in the Dolce Group, which owns and operates various restaurants and nightclubs here in Los Angeles (and across the country). At the end of the series, Mike and his business partner Lonnie will select a “celebrity” to receive a stake in a new restaurant.

Sounds like a cool prize, but then again, I can’t imagine any restaurant with Jake Pavelka or Three 6 Mafia at the helm being a major draw; so the earnings might not be the windfall that these D-listers are hoping for. Either way, I might tune in just to see Danielle “I will not clap” Staub attack a doe-eyed Heidi “Boobs” Montag.

File this one under “Disaster.”

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Danielle Staub Is A Stripper No More

With The Real Housewives of New Jersey bursting back with a vengeance on Monday, it was only a matter of time before fired cast member Danielle Staub attempted to steal away the spotlight. Well, she has, and it’s been just as sad as you’d expect. Earlier this week, the reality star announced that she’d be embarking on an exclusive contract with Scores, the notorious strip club in New York City (where Christopher Manzo earned career advice, let’s not forget). The plan was for Danielle to dance fully nude for three years, which sounds horrifying to many but think about it: it’s about as close to seeing a cubist Picasso painting come to life as we’ll get.

Nevertheless, Danielle has now backed out of her contract and is rumored to be seeking the psychological expertise of Dr. Drew. And to that, I say “oy.”

More lurid details here.

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AND WHATNOT: New Reality Shows for Dina Manzo and Danielle Staub; Also, Ramona and Jill Bicker, and Chicks with Steve Buscemi Eyes

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Socialite Life: Dina Manzo Lands Her Own Reality Show. Danielle Staub’s Head Explodes
Reality Blurred: Danielle Staub, Jake Pavelka, Heidi Montag filming a reality show together (really)
D-Listed: Then Or Now: When Were They Hotter? (check out the video)
Vulture: The Social Network’s Other Winklevoss Twin Joins Dark Knight Rises (go Dartmouth!)
Movieline: Kevin Williamson Opens Up About Scream 4 Bob Weinstein Fight
LAist: Bryan Stow ‘Wanted No Trouble,’ Says Witness to Beating at Dodger Stadium
Chicks with Steve Buscemeyes: Chicks With Steve Buscemeyes
Daily Dish: Restaurant critic S. Irene Virbila ponders the case of the vexing vinegar spout. Can you help? (dilemmas, dilemmas)

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REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP (As Told By Random Knickknacks)

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Bravo aired the second part of its epic Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special last night, and it continued to be as explosive and ludicrous as the first half. However, the one difference was that while last week’s craziness often felt like “systematic bullying,” as Kelly Bensimon might say, this portion was all classic Danielle trainwreck action. Whatever empathy I felt for the woman going into the show was most certainly lost in the opening minutes when she couldn’t give a straight (no pun intended) answer to the questions about Danny’s use of homophobic slurs. Danielle seemed unable to see why people felt she was hypocritical (in the wake of last season when she chastised Joe Giudice for using the term “gaylord”), and truthfully, this pattern of getting tripped up in her own BS became the theme of the night.

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REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP: Crazy Vs. Stupid, Or Just Another Day In Jersey

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At long last, Bravo aired the first “supersized” part of its much-anticipated Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, and let’s just say this: we’ve come a long way, baby. I remember back in the day when a Real Housewives reunion consisted of a few generally polite ladies sitting around a cozy couch in what appeared to by Vicky Gunvalson’s den. Now the outlandish productions take place in casinos, and instead of friendly, if passive-aggressive, exchanges, we get hostile screaming and dramatic exits. Plus, for the first time, cameras actually left the couches and followed the women into their respective dressing rooms / corners where various handlers and hair dressers offered moral support and a calming influence. The whole debacle leant a distinctly pugilistic feel to the episode. All that was missing was Don King; although, with Caroline’s big hair, she came pretty close to filling that role.

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REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PREVIEW: Are You Ready For Tonight?

Are you ready for the reunion of The Real Housewives of New Jersey tonight? Everyone’s buzzing about it, thanks to an action-packed preview video Bravo released last week. Well, guess what? We have more clips from tonight’s episode! Above, Teresa and Danielle try to cool down post-blowup with the help of Andy Cohen, Caroline, and two doting hair stylists, but it seems to be an exercise in futility.

After the jump, Andy Cohen gives us a very special halftime report from the set of the reunion that plays more or less like a really lame version of The Blair Witch Project. And yet, when Danielle arrives and says “I’m not going anywhere,” it’s somehow scarier than that movie…

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Ep. 08: Banter with Ben and Lisa

We took a little break for a few weeks, but Banter with Ben and Lisa is back! On this week’s show, Lisa and I let the banter blender whir out of control as our discussion of Jersey Shore quickly spirals into a free-for-all gabfest about Martha Stewart, Mariah Carey, Step Up 3D, helicopters, infomercials, and Danielle Staub’s recent musical performance on WPIX. Plus, because it was so nice out, Lisa and I brought the laptop and Snowball microphone up to my roof to enjoy the many splendors of Mother Nature (which, in LA, includes various honking horns and overhead aircraft). Unfortunately, my laptop is old, and for some reason, when it recorded us, it made our voices sound ever so slightly higher pitch, which is somewhat amusing. A touch of chipmunk never hurt anyone, right?

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REAL HOUSEWIVES FINALE PHOTOCAP: The Last Supper

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The second season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey drew to a close last night with an intense and often frustrating showdown between Danielle and Caroline that seemed to accomplish little beyond giving Bravo some nifty sound bytes for its promos. The idea was that all this “nonsense” between the Manzos and the Staubs had gone on too long, and Caroline was going to broker a truce: you stay away from me, and I’ll stay away from you. Oh, and drop the charges against Ashley. Unsurprisingly, mission was not accomplished.

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Danielle Staub Gets Her Dance On

Danielle Staub of The Real Housewives of New Jersey appeared on local New York channel WPIX to perform the dance remix of her new single, “Real Close.” I’ve only gotten about twenty-seven seconds into the clip so far, but the dancing alone is worthy of viewing. Not sure if this was from today or some other time, but it’s new to me! Enjoy.

(photocap of last night’s episode to come shortly)

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HOUSEWIVES REUNION PREVIEW: Some Light Disagreements

The Real Housewives of New Jersey wraps up its uneven season tonight, but who cares about that? The real fun is at the reunion, and based on the preview above, we have quite a doozy coming our way. There’s screaming, shoving, and storming off set — enough to hopefully overshadow the boring first half of the season. Better yet, it seems as though Kim G will be making a cameo, which always means fun things are in store. This reunion looks like the craziest one yet, with even Andy Cohen getting tossed around like a little rag doll. Can’t wait!

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