And Now A Disgusting Turn of Events

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I haven’t registered a formal blog complaint about personal hygiene in quite some time, perhaps not since my unfortunate series of gym horror stories in 2008 (read them here and here, if you dare). However, I come to you with a new dreadful story that will surely make most people squirm with uneasiness.

It all happened last night, just before midnight. I hadn’t had dinner yet, and so I plodded over to the nearby 24 hour Subway on Highland Avenue for some late night grub. Not the healthiest time of night to be noshing, but my alternative was thawing out a year-old chilaquiles from the freezer. Clearly, Subway won out.

Well, as I arrived in the dark parking lot, I noticed two gentlemen stepping into the quiet Subway shop. My heart sank. I could already tell they were homeless and drunk, and in case you haven’t been in Hollywood, drunk homeless people around these parts are kind of the worst. I know what you’re saying, “There’s B-Side in his ivory tower turning his nose up at two chaps who’ve had a hard run of luck.” Well, yes, FINE. I am. But that does not excuse the horror I was about to encounter.

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