Is That An Eel In Your Penis Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

108283_1230177986022_450_300.jpg

I believe the headline of the following link says it all, but in case you’re to lazy to glance downwards, let me explain. A man in China went to a spa where he submerged himself in a pool and let freshwater eels graze off his dead skin. The treatment is not unlike the fish pedicures one might encounter in Japan (helpful things I learned on the long forgotten series I Survived a Japanese Game Show). Anyway, this gentleman thought he was in for a relaxing afternoon with the eels, but little did he realize that one intrepid bastard had other plans.

It’s not too late to stop reading. Still here? Okay…

Here’s the long and the short of it: AN EEL GOT INTO THE MAN’S PENIS AND SLITHERED AND NIBBLED ITS WAY ALL THE WAY UP INTO HIS BLADDER.

No. No. Stop. I’m mad at MYSELF for writing about this. But I just have to.

The unfortunate spa-goer was rushed to the hospital where doctors spent three hours in surgery removing the eel, which is now thankfully dead.

For more unpleasant details, check out the link below. And thanks to my dear friend Heather Whaley for bringing this special story to my attention.

Metro UK: Eel removed from man’s bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

Watch Men Trying To Play Soccer With Binoculars Attached To Their Heads

This video may be over three years old, but it’s new to me! It features several Japanese men playing soccer with binoculars attached to their eyes. The end result is something that looks vaguely like a Monty Python outtake (and/or me in an aerobics class). I’m not gonna lie: I guffawed many times. Stripes FTW!

Thanks to Heather for the heads up!

AND WHATNOT: ‘American Idol’ Ditches the Semifinals; Also, Kyle Richards, Chad Ochocinco, and the end of the ‘D-List’?


Thanks jash!

Girls Get Action: Thanks for the mammaries…
The Hype Machine: California Love (Robyn S VS Katy Perry ft Snoop Dogg)
Socialite Life: ‘Saw 3D’ Shown Instead Of Children’s Film. Oops.
Wall Street Journal: What’s the Latest Move in Sports? Doing the ‘Dougie’ (thanks Jenny!)
Gawker: Real Housewife of New York Sonja Morgan Files for Bankruptcy (thanks Heather!)
Movieline: In Memory of American Idol’s Semifinal Rounds: 10 Incredible Performances
Socialite Life: Kathy Griffin’s ‘My Life on the D-List’ Is Dunzo
OMG! Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Kyle Richards: I Will Never Know What Pushed Camille
Shutdown Corner: Ochocinco proposes to reality star girlfriend with 10-carat ring

AND WHATNOT: The Most Amazing Grilled Cheese Ever? Also, Emmys, Bad Dressers, Takoyaki, and Tomatoes!

NPR: Sandwich Monday: The Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt (thanks Sly!)
HuffPo: Bloomingdale’s Retouchers Give Model Mutant Elbow (PHOTOS, POLL) (thanks run_t_run)
Popbytes: TELEVISIONBYTES: THE EMMYS – A MIX OF OLD AND NEW (written by yours truly)
Vulture: Dancing With The Stars Cast Includes Bristol, The Situation and The Hoff
ESPN: Rex Ryan confident, even without Revis
GeekWeek: MLB: Manny Is Heading To Chi-Town
LAist: Westside Subway and Regional Connector Take Big Steps Towards Reality
Hollywood Life: You’ve Seen The Best, Now Check Out The Worst Dressed From The 2010 Emmy Awards!
AP: RV dealer challenges ‘Twilight’ star to push-ups (this might cause heart palpitations for Sly)
Starcasm: PHOTOS Bethenny zaps Jill Zarin and Kelly Bensimon with shrink ray?
Tasting Table: A Takoyaki Tour (proud to say I tagged along for some of the research that went into this article!)
Dessert Darling: Adventures in New M&Ms: Pretzel M&Ms
Eat Your Feelings: Sock-it-to-Me Halloumi
WSwD: Great Food Truck Race: Crepes Blown-Apart! (Sorry, I Had To)
LAist: Make This Drink: Official Cocktail of The Emmy Awards

The Best Donut In Los Angeles?

tasty-donuts-shop.jpg
Courtesy of Yelp

I love to try new and unique restaurants and foods in Los Angeles, but rarely am I the only to discover them. Usually, I defer to the gaggle of food bloggers out here or the Los Angeles Times’ great column, “The Find.” It’s with a heavy heart that I must admit I just am simply not a trailblazer when it comes to these things. I’m merely a follower.

However, I do feel like I have a discovery to share with the world at large. It’s not some secret, off-the-beaten-path eatery offering a dazzling ten course meal for $15. Instead it’s a humble donut shop, located right smack dab on a busy stretch of Santa Monica Boulevard. I talk of Tasty Donuts, and I think it may serve the best donut in L.A.

Now a few caveats. I said “donut,” singular. Tasty Donuts doesn’t have the best donuts, per se, but they do have the best singular offering of one. Also, second caveat: I haven’t sampled all the donut shops around town, but this is a blog, not a scientific survey; so I am going to allow myself some leeway on the bombastic claims. The point is that people in search of an amazing donut experience should flock to this place for one thing and one thing only: their glazed buttermilk donut.

Continue reading

I’m FREEEEEE!!!

chareth-cutestory-pirate-attorney.jpg

Wonderful news: I got out of jury duty, and it’s a good thing too. Had I been selected, I would have been sitting on a trial where the charges were something like “Attempted Murder of a BABY” (emphasis mine, not California’s). Additionally, the defendant — Ruth Lopez — spoke no English, which meant there was a high probability that the proceedings would have taken that much longer, on account of the need for interpreters, etc.. The plus side was that the presiding judge was a regular comedian, and I frequently found myself chuckling at his many asides. However, as much as I enjoyed Judge Marcus’s comic timing, I’m much happier being free from the Los Angeles Superior Court system.

With my new (or regained) free time, I shall finally watch last night’s Real Housewives. Expect a photocap somewhat soon (I may take a recess to my pool as the weather in LA today is fairly orgasmic). In the meantime, check out this post by Heather Whaley, who was inspired by my brief yet intense civic duty.

Bonus points for those who know what the picture above is.