January Jones’ Pregnancy Could Be A Problem

There are so many questions swirling around January Jones’s pregnancy: who’s the father? Was it Jason Sudeikis? If it wasn’t Jason Sudeikis, who was she cheating on him with? And why was she having unprotected sex with this person? And why is she so awful?

There’s an even more pressing issue at hand though: how will the bump be explained on Mad Men? I vote for extreme Betty Draper weight gain. Maybe put her in a fat suit à la Peggy season one? Failing that, I’m plumb out of ideas.

Read what January has to say about it in her famously articulate and insightful way here.

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Did Jason Sudeikis Knock Up January Jones?

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Mad Men starlet January Jones revealed recently that she’s preggers and due in the fall, but who, pray tell, is the father? Well, she did just break up with Jason Sudeikis in January; so the timeframe suggests that perhaps the Saturday Night Live cast member is the baby daddy. Lending more credence to this theory is Sudeikis himself who stuttered and stumbled his way through his responses to nosy reporters wanting to know the scoop.

Of course, if Jason Sudeikis is not the father, then we are only left with three theories:

1) January Jones used artificial insemination (unlikely given that she’s still way too young and hot to resort to such techniques).

2) January Jones went on a post-Sudeikis slutty binge and got knocked up super fast.

3) January Jones had an illicit side-lovah all this time. YES, that must be it! And Jason Sudeikis dumped her when he found out about this other man (perhaps Bobby Flay, January Jones’s random knight in shining armor after she crashed into three cars last year).

So in conclusion, Jason Sudeikis is either the father, or January Jones is a PROSTITUTION WHORE.

More juicy details, including Jason Sudeikis’s not-so-smooth handling of the media, here:

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