2011: Real Housewives of Miami debuted with little promotion and instantly bored fans and critics alike. It was a creative dud and a massive disappointment for a sexy city filled with so many exotic and “spicy Latinas” (everyone loves them, according to an Urban Outfitters’ t-shirt). Without a doubt, Miami was roundly considered the worst of the Housewives, even worse than DC, which has since been canceled.
2012: Miami has done a massive turnaround, thanks to an injection of more colorful characters, sharper editing, and more salacious storylines. The cast has seemingly quadrupled with oodles of ancillary characters, all of whom are hilarious in their own feisty way. True — some of the stories feel forced or staged (ie. anything with Joanna) — but I’ll take a few dumb scenes with Marta if it means I get to see more idiots tossed in a pool (or better yet, slapped in the face).
To be honest, Miami is the most entertaining Housewives on Bravo at the moment, which says a lot given that it’s airing alongside the franchise heavy hitters Beverly Hills and Atlanta. Those two series’ have yet to find their footing in their third and fifth season, respectively. Miami, meanwhile, is in the zone, and that might be in large part thanks to the parents. First we had Elsa. Then Lucero (Karent’s mom), and then this week — a parental explosion! Lenny’s Russian mom and dad arrived, full of trilling pushiness, and then came Frederick’s amazingly swanky parents — by far the most stylish and sophisticated people to every grace any Real Housewives episode ever (sorry, Countess). Lastly, we had the arrival of Joanna’s mom, who was greeted by a dry humping from Romain. Appropriate? Perhaps not. Lucky? Most definitely.
In case you missed it, we just wrapped another episode of Housewife Hoedown. Ronnie from TVgasm joined me again as we discussed last night’s out of control Miami reunion. I also shared stories about meeting Lisa VanderPump and Taylor Armstrong, and we touched on The Real Housewives of Orange County briefly.
Check it out, and be sure to tune in next Wednesday at 12:30 PM (PST) to watch it live!
We’ve seen a lot of trainwrecks on Bravo. Heck, the network was built on trainwrecks. But pretty much nothing comes close to the mess that was last night’s Real Housewives of Miami live reunion show. First off: some minor bitching. Bravo decided to couch the reunion into a Watch What Happens episode, and for those of us who don’t DVR that show, we got majorly screwed when no reunion show recorded. Luckily, I managed to catch a later airing of the reunion, but if I had to nominate JACKHOLE of the week, it would be Bravo for being sneaky in trying to snag viewers into their WWH web.
Lingering resentment aside, the reunion was a total mess. In some ways I loved it. But in most ways, I found myself just shaking my head. Host Andy Cohen looked overwhelmed, often staring at the women with a look of total befuddlement… much as the rest of America most certainly was. It was kind of hilarious.
Because of some non-blog related work I was dealing with last week, I fell behind with all my photocaps, and while some I just won’t get around to, I wanted to send off The Real Housewives of Miami properly. After all, who knows if we’ll see them again? The season was universally panned, and while the reunion airs tonight, I don’t have high hopes for it. For the first time ever, the entire shebang will be live, which means that we’ll probably get stuck with a lot of awkward pauses and fewer sparks than we’d actually like. The benefit of having Andy Cohen tape this stuff ahead of time is that the group can sit on those big couches for hours on end, allowing the producers to cull enough pointed material to ideally make a decent reunion. I’m not sure Andy will be able to wring the same drama out of these ladies that he might have been able to over the course of a long afternoon.
In fact, that Bravo isn’t investing a full day’s worth of taping (and consequent editing) suggests that maybe the network simply doesn’t have faith in this show. Maybe they just want to get this reunion over with and move on. The sad part is that while Miami has been more or less a dud, it finally upped its game in its last episode. Larsa Pippen blossomed into the Ã¼ber-bitch we always knew she could be, and for the first time all season, I was fired up. If only Bravo had started with this episode…
In case you missed it, we just taped another episode of Housewives Hoedown this afternoon, and I’d be lying if I said we didn’t spent the majority of the time talking about Larsa Pippen, who after last night’s Real Housewives of Miami finale, landed herself a cozy spot on the Worst Housewives list I keep in my head. Note to self: update the rankings from last year.
Anyway, I was joined once again by Flipit from TVgasm, and we had a ball chatting it up with each other and some viewers (hi Honeybunny) over the course of the hour. Check it out above, and remember to tune in next week to the live show!
Bravo did a bold thing last night: they aired an episode of The Real Housewives of Miami without Elsa Patton! For shame! I suppose they made up for it by giving us a whole thirty-minutes of the series’ breakout star on Watch What Happens Live!, and yes, I did watch what happened, and yes it was pretty amazing. The good news was that for the first time, RHoM actually was pretty good. Sure, there was a lot of dumb filler material (ie. Cristaaaaaiiiihhh strutting during a fashion show), and much of the episode felt patched together from what should have been “Lost footage” (ie. the scene with Marysol and her new husband fighting over a wine fridge), but we had our first girl-on-girl altercation of the season, and that is always something special.
Basically, tensions between Lea and Cristy came to a head when Adriana stirred the pot at Larsa’s luncheon and brought up the whole “invoice” issue (this season’s lame equivalent of “New York City” from Beverly Hills). There was some restrained bickering, but nothing too outrageous. Lea didn’t budge, Cristy didn’t budge, and the only one who truly came off looking like a jerk was Adriana. Continue reading →
Here’s the latest episode of Housewives Hoedown. Sadly, no one called in this week (insert passive-aggressive crossed arms here), but my friend Sita and I had a fun time chatting about the ladies of Miami and Orange County. We spent a marked amount of time bashing the Bellinos, Larsa Pippen, and Orange County styles in general. Check it out….
Good morning! I say good morning because chances are you just woke up from the coma that Real Housewives of Miami may have put you in last night. The buzz on the show is bad — possibly worse than DC — and while I think it’s not AS bad as people say, last night’s episode did nothing to dissuade the naysayers. Nothing really happened in the episode. Marysol got engaged, but that whole romance between her and her Frenchman felt a bit fake. Are we really to believe they’re dating? And furthermore that they’re going to elope in Aspen? The only positive to come from that storyline was yet another extended scene with Elsa, whose giant puppet-head seemed even more grotesque as she sat in Marysol’s living room watching her try on wedding dresses. Elsa is truly a riot, and while she does look like she belongs in Pan’s Labyrinth — or better yet, Labyrinth — I wouldn’t have her change a single thing. Listening to her roll her r’s as she talked about Marysol rrrrrolling down a mountain was a pure delight. Unfortunately, whatever goodwill Elsa had brought us was totally vanquished by a never-ending scene between Marysol and her man in Aspen. I couldn’t believe the producers would wrap up the episode on such a boring, irritating note. No one cares about these two, nor do they care if Marysol has butterflies in her stomach over this wedding. In fact, never has anyone cared about any wedding on any Housewives episode. We only want to see dinner parties going down in flames. Happy occasions? BORING. Continue reading →
I’m happy to report that The Real Housewives of Miami is slowly getting its voice. The show still lacks the fun or urgency of out-of-the-box-hit Beverly Hills, but I gotta admit that writing about these women (and talking about them on Housewives Hoedown — Wednesdays at 12:30 PST!) is a blast. They don’t offer much, but with the flurry of accents and idiosyncrasies, it’s kind of a bonanza for me.
This week saw its first major altercation; although, regrettably it came not between two of the women. Instead the battlers were Adriana and some random dude at her gallery. Here’s the back story: Continue reading →
The second episode of The Real Housewives of Miami aired last night, and I’m afraid we’ve yet to see much stirring drama. It wasn’t a total wash — there was some amusing crap that went down — but this season has yet to get its sea legs so far. With any luck, next week’s installment will be bringing the craziness, what with Adriana getting into a spat with some tall dandy. For now, however, our attention must remain with this week’s drama, which centered around Lea and Cristy, as well as some ancillary junk with Adriana. Continue reading →