On this week’s Watch What Crappens, Matt Whitfield (Yahoo), Ben Mandelker, (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) meet up in a mall for a noisy podcast all about the Giudice indictment, the winter wonderland fighting on RHOC, and the already infamous “Mom?…Help…ME” call on Princesses Long Island. As a bonus, we’ve included a fashion teardown of a four year old. Come on in!
Well, the Real Housewives of Atlanta kicked off yet another raucous reunion this week, and to the surprise of no one in particular, it wound up being the Kenya Moore show. That’s pretty much the way it’s been all season, and Kenya did not disappoint (unless we’re talking about all aspects of her personal and professional career, in which case, yes, she most likely has disappointed everyone in her life). With a fan in place and many sneers at her disposal, Kenya once again brandished her overly-deliberate psycho bitch persona, and while it’s such a patently obvious play for camera time, I can’t help but be entertained by it. Hey, it’s like watching professional wrestling: we know it’s fake; so, why not go along for the ride? And yes, I do truly believe the spirit of Andre the Giant carries on with these ladies (if not the fashion sense).
The big topics of this first hour mostly revolved around Kenya. There was Kenya vs. Porsha, Kenya vs. Phaedra, and Kenya vs. any semblance of sanity. Most of the squabbling went in one ear and out the other, but big ups to Phaedra who managed one of the best lines of the night: “Single white female, black delusional Kenya.” Along the way there was a nifty awkward moment as Porsha defended her now defunct marriage. Plus, we enjoyed a small tiff between Kandi and Nene, who took the time to revive their annual “You’re mean to me / I’m just sharing my opinion / Well, it’s mean / Well, I’m sorry. I never intended it to be mean” argument. All fun times.
Next week, the return of Kim. C’mon wig! But until then, check out the photocap after the jump…
It’s official. Kim Zolciak has left the building. Yes, Real Housewives of Atlanta’s wiggiest idiot has moved on to greener pastures (specifically the pastures that serve Chick Fil-A and cigarettes). After her cast mates confronted her about always having excuses when it comes to social plans — or in this case, vacation plans — Kim stormed out of the restaurant like Thomas the Train and into the arms of husband Kroy, who had materialized out of thin air. The two then became belligerent with the cameras as if there were some obscene invasion of privacy going on (there wasn’t), and just like that Kim was gone. And so begins the quiet dimming of her star, which had at times shined bright like a diamond. Or maybe just a shard of a plastic Pepsi bottle.
After two seasons of unspectacular reunions, the crazy bitches on Real Housewives of Atlanta brought their A-Game back — the same A-Game that we saw at the end of season one and changed Housewives reunions forever. These women yelled and yelled and yelled; although, to be fair, it was mostly NeNe, who spent the better part of the hour boasting about how wealthy she was (with occasional diversions to clarify the status of her vagina in regards to its dildo occupancy). Truthfully, NeNe has now cemented herself on the “Worst” list of the Housewives (a list I’m perennially hoping to update on this site). It’s been a stunning fall from grace, thanks in part to the celebrity that has gone to her head. I’m hoping she can turn things around, but she’s got to realize at some point that she’s driven away all the people she once considered close. Ah, but that requires an ounce of self-awareness, and where would we be if any of these women had THAT?
Well, the generally unremarkable fourth season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta came to an end last night, and like many of the other seasons (except for the first), it just barely lurched over the finish line. More so than any of the other casts, the Atlanta crew always starts strong — full of bluster and screaming — and mellows out into a series of uninspired scenarios. This season saw the strange rise of Black Baby Gate, a scandal so dumb it was almost briliant, but aside from that, we had no major drama. NeNe was still mad at Kim; NeNe was mad at Shereé again; Cynthia was mad at her sister — it was all pretty dull, save for a few unbelievable fights (Marlo vs. Sherayay anyone?).
Black Baby Gate is the gift that keeps on giving, except it’s one of those gifts that no one really wants — like some cheap vase from World Market. Still, the BBG was in full force on Sunday’s Real Housewives of Atlanta, with Kim interacting with Cynthia since the whole mess first began. Maybe it’s me, but I can’t help thinking that Kim is milking this stupid situation. Kandi told her umpteen times that it was all benign, but Kim never backed away from a chance to make drama. Maybe that’s why it was also surprising that Sweetie finally got canned but off camera. You’d think Kim would relish the chance to waggle her finger at her underling in front of the nation. Continue reading →
What is there to say about this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta? It was the same old crap: Peter and Cynthia hosted a party they couldn’t afford, Marlo and Sherayay had a disagreement, Kim yelled at Sweetie, Nene yelled at Bryson, Phaedra ogled a dead body, and Kandi made a weird face that seemed to say, “Errraaaaagggh.”
Yes, it was business as usual in Atlanta, but that’s not to say it wasn’t entertaining. The aforementioned party was Peter and Cynthia’s black tie one year anniversary party. You read that correctly: ONE year (not ten, not twenty, not fifty). ONE year party. As Lawrence noted in the episode, aren’t people supposed to just go get a damn dinner by themselves? Not Peter, who admitted that he needed to throw a lavish party to impress the people that they run with. Who are these awful people they “run with” and why would you want to “run with” anyone who would force you into poverty just for the sake of a good party?
You know, I love me some Shereé, but she was up to no good whatsoever on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. She continued to perpetuate this silly (and false) rumor that Kandi was talking smack about Kim, specifically in regards to whether the Wig’d One would hold a black baby in Africa. The whole thing was so stupid and petty, and yet unbelievably frustrating thanks to the editors who replayed Kandi’s actual words umpteen times. For the record, it was Cynthia who made the initial remark, and regardless of what she or Kandi said afterwards, they were both joking around (and they were both correct with what they were saying). That, of course, did not come through in Shereé’s version of the truth, which for some reason Kim glommed onto as if it were gospel. Suddenly Kim announced to us that if there was one thing that Kim didn’t do, it was talk crap behind her back. Since when did Kim become so sure of Shereé’s allegiances? Wasn’t it just a few months ago when Ms. Whitfield was tugging at Kim’s weave outside of esteemed eatery FAB?
At long last the Real Housewives of Atlanta — minus Kim — headed to South Africa so they could soak up the culture, enjoy the sights, and of course, scream and yell at each other like a bunch of banshees. Yes, there’s no such thing as a drama-free vacation on the Housewives, and South Africa was no exception. The controversy came courtesy of Sherée, who pulled the rather unclassy move of inviting “The Smalls” (Kandi and Phaedra) to her friend’s dinner party in Capetown, but shunning “The Talls” (everyone else). It was sort of like one of those reward challenges on Survivor when Jeff Probst allows someone to take two people to visit a waterfall. Except unlike on Survivor where people generally react by quietly scheming, the aftermath of this move sent the group into utter, amazing chaos.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta are going to Africa! That was the gist of this week’s episode, which saw the women more or less doing nothing but preparing for the big trip. NeNe continued to debate whether or not to go, but leave it to That Girl Marlo Hampton to set her straight. The oft-arrested socialite told NeNe she’d be crazy to pass up the trip (which we all know had to have been free); so NeNe countered that she would only go if Marlo came with her. Marlo, never one to shy away from social advancement, happily signed on, and just like that, NeNe was back on board the African adventure. Of course, she didn’t actually tell Phaedra, the organizer, which was a bit tacky, but then again, far be it for me to call NeNe tacky. After all, she’s RICH now: she’s earned her tackiness.