Is That An Eel In Your Penis Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

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I believe the headline of the following link says it all, but in case you’re to lazy to glance downwards, let me explain. A man in China went to a spa where he submerged himself in a pool and let freshwater eels graze off his dead skin. The treatment is not unlike the fish pedicures one might encounter in Japan (helpful things I learned on the long forgotten series I Survived a Japanese Game Show). Anyway, this gentleman thought he was in for a relaxing afternoon with the eels, but little did he realize that one intrepid bastard had other plans.

It’s not too late to stop reading. Still here? Okay…

Here’s the long and the short of it: AN EEL GOT INTO THE MAN’S PENIS AND SLITHERED AND NIBBLED ITS WAY ALL THE WAY UP INTO HIS BLADDER.

No. No. Stop. I’m mad at MYSELF for writing about this. But I just have to.

The unfortunate spa-goer was rushed to the hospital where doctors spent three hours in surgery removing the eel, which is now thankfully dead.

For more unpleasant details, check out the link below. And thanks to my dear friend Heather Whaley for bringing this special story to my attention.

Metro UK: Eel removed from man’s bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

VIDEO: Streaker on the Weather Channel!

There have been many shocking images to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, but perhaps none quite as eye-opening as the sight of a naked frat guy streaking the Weather Channel. Truth be told, the fleeting nudity is only part of the fun of the above clip. Be sure to watch it now before it inevitably disappears from YouTube.

NSFW.

Via D-Listed

Kanye West Nude!

A mere two days ago, I pondered how long we’d have to wait for the next cell phone scandal. Turns out not long at all! The latest celeb to be caught with his junk out on display is none other than Kanye West, who reportedly sent provocative photos of himself to a number of women from who knows where. Now those pics are for sale, which means in no time, we’ll have a whole new set of grainy dong photos to analyze and mock. Fun times!

For more information, click here:

Socialite Life: Any Buyers? Kanye West Nude Photos For Sale

Brett Favre’s Little Problem

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I know there’s money in NFL betting, but I’m starting to think gambling on the next celebrity cell phone scandal is where the future is. Brett Favre is the latest yutz to wind up in a dumb yet hilarious scandal involving voicemails (allegedly), and while his messages aren’t nearly as horrifying as Mel Gibson’s nor as widespread as Tiger Woods’, the Vikings quarterback did make the critical error of (allegedly) sending photos of his manhood to his would-be suitor, a former Jets employee named Jenn Sterger. And sadly for Brett, they were not flattering images. The word “Lilliputian” comes to mind.

Anyway, the best part of all this embarrassing silliness is that now everyone — from blogs to newspapers — get to have a field day at Favre’s expense. Deadspin, which broke the story last week, has happily provided a digest of all the silly puns (read: my favorite things EVER) and fussy articles that have emerged in the wake of the Vikings’ loss last night.

To see the photos (NSFW), click here.

To read the Brett Favre roundup, click here.

Does This Banana Republic Model Have A Blatant Erection?

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My old friend jash noticed something peculiar on the Banana Republic website today. Turns out one of the male models has a full-on boner, and since this blog is nothing if not mature, I’m here to post about it and snicker. Of course, the image could simply be the product of unfortunate creasing; however, somewhere in the BR empire, there’s an artistic director who most certainly saw this photo and approved it. Is this pandering to Banana’s gay following? Or merely peen for peen’s sake? It’s hard to say (no pun intended).

After the jump, a second image that provides more compelling evidence of genital arousal.

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