FINDING PRINCE CHARMING PHOTOCAP: Hanging Chad

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This week on Finding Prince Charming, a line was drawn in the sand. Literally. During a listeless volleyball challenge in the name of romance, the hottest guys in the house gathered as a team, leaving everyone else in a basket of disposables sadly named “The Nice Guys.” Naturally, chaos ensued.

Most of the drama centered around Chad, who allegedly made a vulgar, scrotum-centric overture at Eric. It didn’t seem like a major ish at first, but then Eric happily reported the incident to Robert, who in turn questioned Chad, who in turn had a meltdown. Ultimately, the whole drama resulted in Chad butchering some canary metaphors and threatening to go home. It was highly fulfilling. Also of note: drunk Sam yelling at half the house like Kim Richards on game night.

Great work all around.

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FINDING PRINCE CHARMING PHOTOCAP: Fit for a Prince

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Last week, Logo premiered Finding Prince Charming, a reality competition colloquially referred to as the “gay Bachelor.” And that’s what it is. The show sees host Lance Bass guiding the handsome, robotic Robert Sepulveda Jr. through a gaggle of would-be suitors, all in the name of televised love. Our usual tropes are here: romantic music, catty brinksmanship, and the occasional declaration of personal tragedy. Some contestants play coy — Brodney amusingly struggles with “opening up” at a pool party, stating that it’s not the venue for such tender moments (and yet appearing on a TV is somehow less impersonal). Others swarm around Robert like tweens at a Bieber concert. It’s all pretty amazing and hilarious.

The biggest laughs, however, come from Robert himself, whose enviable torso often stands in for personality. He presents himself as a romantic soul with deep, empathetic thoughts — and yet he nearly rejects Paul for liking short men and gives the boot to Nick, whose sweating is seen as a roadblock to connection. Meanwhile, upon learning that the aforementioned Brodney is a trainer from his current home of Atlanta, Robert senses they might be a perfect match — you know, because they live in the same city and like to work out. It’s gloriously superficial, and I want to drag Robert over the coals for it, but unfortunately, I can’t act like I’m not a shallow gay man too; so hey, Robert — you go and get yourself a hot guy. I support you fully!

Full disclosure: my friend Brandon is amongst the suitors; so I am incredibly biased in his favor. Go Brandon!

Photocap after the jump…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Love Wins… and So Does Trashy TV

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Do you smell that? It’s the faint aroma of self-tanner, rancid meat, and self-pity. It can only mean one thing: Big Brother is back!!! Yes, America’s favorite summertime tradition has returned, and I could not be happier. For too long has my life been without vapid, beautiful people, but that all changed this week when CBS unleashed about 35 new faces on us. There was Clay, the gorgeous Texas native who has happily ascended to the dreamboat throne vacated by Cody last season. And then there was… Clay. And Clay. And more Clay.

Okay, fine. There are other cast members too. Audrey is Big Brother’s first transgendered houseguest, which is pretty cool. And John is Big Brother’s 453rd self-appointed rock ‘n’ roll houseguest, which is less cool. We also have resident nerd Steve (currently at the top of my faves), resident muscle nerd Austin (also at the top of my faves), and resident cookie enthusiast Jace (nowhere near my faves).

There are more — many more — but I’m not going to get into it. Most of these people seem promising, which is of course how all seasons begin: promise, followed by some early spats, which lead to a few predictable weeks of evictions, culminating with a mid-season explosion or two, and then finally settling into a quiet final stretch. Here’s to hoping things are more thrilling than last year’s dull parade to the finish line.

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Why Make A Big Move When You Can Sit Pretty?

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Well, here we are — umpteen weeks into a once promising season of Big Brother, and we’re stuck with a dominant alliance that would rather pick off outsiders than think 1.5 steps ahead and make some big moves. It’s been the story of the summer, which has seen a passive minority slowly picked off by a surprisingly loyal majority. In some ways it makes sense — why turn on your team when there are easy evictions to be had? But what happens when the outsiders are gone? That’s when the Detonators will detonate themselves, and everyone who thought they were safe will suddenly regret the handy votes they could have had in Nicole and Donny. It’s their own dumb fault, really.

I guess I’m just bitter about Nicole winding up on the block. After all, there’s nothing more frustrating like watching the promise of a returning player getting snuffed out before she can wreak total, vengeful havoc. Is it so bad that I want something fun to happen on this show? The season started off so well. SO WELL.

Sigh.

Photocap after the jump…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Zach Attacked!

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Well, we’re about halfway through Big Brother 16, and I’m continuing to love this cast, which is a good thing because the gameplay hasn’t been exactly thrilling. Don’t get me wrong: there’s been some great drama — obviously starting with Devin and followed by the Caleb-Amber-Cody love triangle. But with Devin and Amber evicted from the house, we now need a new wellspring of chaos, and ideally, that will come from a big move — maybe even knocking Zach out of the house?

I like Zach. I do. But I’m sick of the Bomb Squad / Detonators having all the power and calling all the shots. It actually makes for a rather ho-hum season of strategy, and it’s not helped by this summer’s dual-HOH twist. The Battle of the Block conceit seems to incentivize Heads of Household to nominate the same people over and over again, and even worse, those people seem to be rolling over and taking it. There haven’t been any major or well-executed attempts to shake the powers that be. Not even the producers bribing Team America to vote against the majority worked. This is no good.

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Tongue Tied

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Few things have been as bizarre as Jocasta’s speaking in tongues on Sunday’s Big Brother. However, in an episode short on drama, we certainly had many record-scratching moments. There was Jocasta, of course, who has emerged as a slightly deranged woman of God. When not busting out a funky “d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dd” rapture, she’s lately been prone to over dramatic wails of joy that seem more akin to surviving a bomb blast than a veto ceremony.

Also in the head-scratching department was Zach opening up a dialogue with Frankie by stating that yes, he will bang him. I’ll just assume that was an inside joke between the two pseudo lovebirds (a showmance I wholeheartedly endorse). And then there was Cody, whose infatuation with Zac Efron makes Caleb’s obsession with Amber look quaint at best. Yes, this is a kooky cast, and I like them so much that I didn’t even mind that the only dust up of the episode was some kerfuffle about beds. I couldn’t even really follow what was going on — basically, no one wanted to sleep with Victoria because she’s annoying (allegedly, she claimed on the feeds that she was once abducted by a crow) — and one thing led to another and suddenly Brittany was in total bitch mode and blah blah blah. Who cares. The whole thing landed her on the block with Victoria, and now they face an uncertain fate.

But for now, here’s the photocap:

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Knock-Knock-Knockin’ on Devin’s Backdoor

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It looks like Devin’s getting set up for the backdoor on Big Brother 16. But let me drop this bombshell: I kind of don’t want him to go. He’s truly awful, but oh so entertaining. I’d rather see Caleb or Jocasta go home before this asshole bro. And wouldn’t that turn everything upside down if that happened? Besides, if Devin winds up on the block with Caleb, the house might be wise to take out a huge target in the cowboy. And if Devin winds up against Jocasta, the house might be wise to… uh… reduce the bow tie presence in the game? Okay, my reasoning is wobbly. I just want to see more crazy histrionics from the big buffoon. But in the meantime, here’s the photocap…

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Speak of the Devin

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I’m loving Big Brother so much, and I’m just sad that the live shows have such lengthy voting processes and HOH competitions because it means we get to see so little of what happens in the house post-Veto, pre-vote. It’s a shame since so much has transpired, but here’s to hoping the producers will futz with the show chronology and include some of the good stuff on Sunday’s episode. Or better yet: how about CBS just makes the live show 90 minutes instead? The Chenbot can handle it.

In the meantime, here’s the latest double photocap:

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BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Tears of a Bro

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You guys, Big Brother 16 is so good. It’s only been a week and change, but we already have an evil alliance (The Bomb Squad) with a douchey leader (Devin) and perhaps mentally unstable sidekick (Caleb). Or is it the other way around? Either way, all seasons with great villains usually lead to wonderful drama, and what’s even better for us is that we have an unlikely trio of heroes in our midst too. That would be Christine, Nicole, and Hayden — three goofballs who joined forces with so much nervous laughter that I couldn’t help chuckling along on my couch. These are my people.

Heroes? Villains? What more can we ask for? I guess some drama. But guess what? We have that too!

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BRAVO PHOTOCAP: The Best of this week’s RHONJ, RHOM, I Dream Of Nene, and New Atlanta

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I had a little free time today; so I though why not write up a photocap. And since I haven’t don’t a Bravo photocap in EONS, I decided to tackle four different shows in one post. Crazy! After the jump, check out pics from Real Housewives of Miami, Real Housewives of New Jersey, I Dream of Nene, and The New Atlanta. Enjoy!

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