I never trust entrepreneurial endeavors spawned from The Real Housewives (although, I did enjoy Ramona Pinot Grigio). However, I always enjoy their ridiculousness. Nothing will ever top Sonja’s mystery toaster oven, and few will be as iconic as She By Shereé. However, in a world where Cafface, Gretchen Christine Beauté, and Gigi’s Extensions are a thing (and yes, I realize that’s from Shahs of Sunset), one shouldn’t be surprised that we now have both Wine By Wives AND Vicki’s Vodka. The latter business hails from Vicki Gunvalson of The Real Housewives of Orange County, and call me crazy, but I never realized vodka was her “thing.” I mean, at least Ramona Pinot Grigio stemmed from Ramona’s much documented love of Pinot. Vicki’s Vodka seems to only be a curious biproduct of alliteration. It’s as if Vicki merely scanned a list of consumer goods starting with “V” and chose her favorite option. This leads me to believe that Vicki’s Veal is just around the corner, perhaps to be followed by Vicki’s Violin Repair or maybe Vicki’s Vaginal Rejuvenation.

Nevertheless, most of the cast headed up to Malibu for some wine tasting because, as Tamra explained, Napa and Temecula were so played out. Yes, the last thing we need is more Temecula dominance of the wine scene, am I right? Listen, I’ve been to wine tastings in Temecula. It’s certainly scenic. But the wine is shit. I mean, imagine a bunch of wineries run by Jim Bellino. That’s what Temecula wine country is. I swear to God, one of the wineries I went to was so overrun by gargoyles and griffins that I immediately turned around and left (opting for the “classier” European “village” just up the hill. Yes, a lot of air quotes, but this is Temecula we’re talking about. If you don’t use air quotes, then you have a problem).

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Not much happened on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. We met Lydia’s kooky mom, who might actually be the first mother on these shows to be more age-appropriate as a cast-member than her actual daughter. A former hippie turned fairy dust enthusiast, Lydia’s mom was definitely something of a character, and interestingly enough, she actual shed some light on Lydia’s personality. It turns out this woman spent the majority of her life stoned, and because of that, Lydia sought structure in religion. Dare I say it was a nearly fascinating revelation? Maybe that’s going too far. Nevertheless, I find Lydia’s brand of devoutness to be far more informed than Alexis’s, which doesn’t seem to stem from curiosity but rather what Jim has ordered her to believe.

In other news, Heather continues to rebrand herself as the most humorless cast member on the show. After having landed a role on Hot in Cleveland, she went out to dinner with her fam and then proceeded to pick a fight with her husband, which she then promptly blamed on him. I’m not sure that Heather has as much of a stick up her ass as a giant, corinthian column from the Parthenon. She’s making me hate her, and I always liked her. Stop it! (Meanwhile, I’m loving Lydia).

On to the photocap!

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