WATCH WHAT CRAPPENS #64: Better Than A Bottle Of Vodka

This week on “Watch What Crappens,” Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Ronnie Karam (TVgasm.com) tackle all sorts of weighty issues such as Is Dana really as drunk as she claims on “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?” And what does Kandi sound like when she climaxes on “Real Housewives of Atlanta”? And most importantly of all, is Stassi truly better than a bottle of vodka on “Vanderpump Rules?” Serious stuff here. Come on in!

Also, be sure to check out The Sideshow Network and subscribe on iTunes!

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RACHEL ZOE PHOTOCAP: Putting On A Fashion Zoe

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Well, The Rachel Zoe Project is back, and I’m proud to report that the show still manages to cram absolutely nothing in the span of an hour. For the big season premiere, we watched Rachel obsess about orchids, obsess about bangs, obsess about Prabal Gurung, obsess about her androgynous child, obsess about figurative hats, and obsess about bangs some more. Along the way, she prepped for her first big fashion show — all while attending various events for Oscar De La Renta, Michael Kors, and Marchesa, the latter of whom she struggled to find in the hustle and bustle of Grand Central train station. This of course led to many panicked moments of “omg. Where is Marchesa? Where is the Marchesa show?” as if Rachel herself had been transported to the remote corners of Bangladesh.

In terms of supporting players, we once again saw Mandana (who I had forgotten all about), but fan-favorite Jeremiah was nowhere to be found (we were told that he’d since departed). Professional hanger-on Joey emerged for a brief cameo, and even Brad Goreski popped up… and was promptly ignored by Rachel, who instead lavished a hug on nearby Andy Cohen (oddly making a cameo on the show he produces). Meanwhile, Rodger remains as whiney as ever, but now with worse hair. The guy has attempted to grow his hair out, but the resultant shag is like a terrible Reality Bites nightmare from the mid-90s. Just when we thought he couldn’t be any more annoying…

Anyway, after the jump, a photocap!

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RACHEL ZOE PHOTOCAP: Like, LITERALLY, The Season Is Already Over

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It seemed like it had just started, but The Rachel Zoe Project is already over. That’s too bad because I didn’t feel like I got my full dose of lunacy. Don’t get me wrong: there were plenty of quintessential Rachel Zoe moments over the past few weeks, but there was also way too much of Rodger and Joey, both of whom have an infinite capability to grate. Rodger whines, and Joey’s just entitled. Poor Jeremiah really got the raw end of the deal here, getting axed for expressing interest in the company. Sure, his plan for Rachel Zoe Home is a bit overly ambitious at this stage of the game, but the guy is so likable and clearly has an eye for style. Why not teach him the ways of the celebrity stylist?

Luckily for ‘miah, he earned a reprieve last night after successfully creating a “store-in-store” experience for Rachel at Bloomingdales. His strong work resulted in an invitation back into the company, which was great news for him, but we all know he’s just gonna be stuck caring for Baby Skylar (or “Sky,” as Rachel says in her trademark staccato). Even if Jeremiah does inch his way into styling, it’s obvious that Joey will push him out. The gayz can be competitive, especially when one of them has the esteemed title of #1 Gay Sidekick to a a Celebrity. Look for more friction on that front.

Nevertheless, as the season drew to a close, Rachel and Rodger had the gang over for a barbecue, and I had to admit that there really did seem to be a family vibe going on with all these kooky characters. Say what you will about Joey or Rodger, but they all do form some strange tribe, and it was oddly endearing. What is wrong with me? Didn’t I used to be snarky? Photocap after the jump…

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RACHEL ZOE PHOTOCAP: Doulas, Kardashians, and Vegas

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Like LITERALLY I’m starting to enjoy this season of The Rachel Zoe Project. It was a bit slow at first and entirely too Rodger-centric, but now that professional hanger-on Joey has moved back to LA, we’re witnessing a wonderful power struggle between the gays. Basically, we have Joey, who is quietly catty, territorial, and shifty, and we have Jeremiah, who is wide-eyed, eager, and more or less the beacon of GOOD. He’s like some gay male hybrid of a fluffy bunny and Snow White. More or less.

Nevertheless, with Joey in town, the two gays must battle it out to be Rachel’s favorite. Joey has a distinct advantage in that he already IS Rachel’s fave and clearly knows the best way to kiss her ass. Jeremiah, however, must endure countless condescending remarks, such as when he pulled two leopard-print shoes for a Kim Kardashian shoot, causing Joey to respond, “I don’t know if leopard is part of the story, but we can take them.” In this brewing war of the puffy hair, I can already tell you whose side I’m on…

As for the rest of the episode, Rodger bitched and moaned more than usual (and then had the balls to announce that he’d be going off to Vegas for a weekend), and Rachel visited a doula, resulting in more of the aforementioned bitching and moaning from Rodger. Oh, and there was a photo shoot with Kim Kardashian. So that was fun.

On to the photocap!

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RACHEL ZOE PHOTOCAP: Announcing the Rachel Zoe Collection

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High drama in the world of The Rachel Zoe Project. Our star headed to New York to debut her collection to the media and buyers, and the stakes could not have been higher. We knew this because Rachel reminded us about this every two seconds. In fact, just when we thought she’d passed one hurdle with the highest stakes ever (ie. a Women’s Wear Daily review) she then had to face yet another challenge with the highest. stakes. ever.

The good news is that Rachel emerged unscathed, and the even better news for her was that she reconnected with her favorite gay hanger-on, Joey, who had apparently moved to New York City since last season. Well, without Brad hanging around, Rachel needed a new main gay, and Jeremiah was simply too new to earn the coveted role. Let the negotiations begin!

First Rodger took Joey out to dinner and pleaded with him to return to LA and be Rachel’s main gay. Then Rachel’s sister got in on the persuasion. They offered money, cars, friendship — anything to sway Joey. Of course he said yes — as if that would ever be a question. Rodger probably could have offered him a pistachio and three bobby pins and Joey would have said yes. Nevertheless, by the end of the episode, Rachel had impressed the fashionistas and filled her gay slot.

As for Jeremiah, looks like he’s going to be on the receiving end of Joey’s territorial smirks and remarks. Should be an interesting turf war…

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VIDEO: Private Moments with Rachel Zoe and Her Baby

Now that Rachel Zoe has spawned, we can only imagine what sort of mother she must be. Thankfully, our curiosity can be sated. Check out the above video, which offers us a very personal glimpse into Rachel’s new life as a mom….

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RACHEL ZOE PHOTOCAP: Literally, Rachel Is Back, and It is, Like, NOT Normal

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Our old gal Rachel Zoe is back, and she’s better than ever! Or at least more preggers than ever. Truth is that I’m not totally convinced that season four of The Rachel Zoe Project is off to a great start. Gone now is Brad, who left Rachel’s company this Spring in what I thought was an amicable parting, but now it seems as though things weren’t quite as rosy as Brad’s cute little cheeks. According to Rachel, Brad said he wanted to retire from the limelight, but then a week later, he was out vulturing her clients. I can’t imagine that she’d be so shocked. After all, what’s a newly independent stylist to do? Just sit around? Brad had a profile written about him in the New York Times: of course he was going to take a stab at styling on his own.

Alas, things just aren’t stellar between the two anymore apparently, which is really our loss because Rachel without Brad is simply not as entertaining. It was bad enough last season when Taylor’s departure meant more whiny Rodger. Now with no sidekicks whatsoever, it feels like all we see is Rodger, and I hate to break it to the producers, but he still isn’t interesting. Heck, he’s downright annoying. The joy of this show is not watching this married couple juggle all the responsibilities of their lives; it’s listening to Rachel communicate in her ever-growing special language. Without Brad, we’re not getting nearly as much of the quirky Rachel, and I question how much new hire Jeremiah will be able to bring it out in her. Sure, he’s cute, and sure, he has a dry sense of humor, but there’s an undercurrent of haughty self-awareness in Jeremiah that I fear will make him less appealing in the long run. We need someone who’s a total worrywart mess — someone who can downwardly spiral with Rachel until both of them are predicting doomsday over something silly like a missing thimble. Luckily, we’re only one episode in; so there’s much room for improvement. I have concerns though…

After the jump, the photocap… Continue reading

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Rachel Zoe Gives B-Side Blog Exclusive Story Behind Anne Hathaway’s Oscar Looks

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Last night’s telecast of the Oscars was one of the dullest in years, thanks in part to lackluster nominations, predictable wins, and lame comedy bits. Just about the only thing noteworthy was hostess Anne Hathaway’s perpetually changing wardrobe, which consisted of eight looks overall. I couldn’t help think about the toll this must have put on celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, who manages to suffer a near aneurysm every year when she needs to dress Annie in one dress, let alone eight.

Luckily, the harried stylist was able to take some time out of her busy schedule to talk about each of Anne Hathaway’s ensembles. Exclusive commentary after the jump… Continue reading

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AND WHATNOT: Mel Gibson Dropped From ‘Hangover 2′; Also, Comic Sans, ‘Survivor,’ and a Big Ol’ Gay Porn Fight

Yahoo! Movies: Breaking: Mel Gibson’s ‘Hangover 2′ Cameo Canceled
Socialite Life: If You Just Need A Break From Life, Here’s A Cat Eating A Banana
Yahoo! TV: TV Vets Spice Up ‘Scream 4′
Reality Blurred: Big Brother’s Steven Daigle arrested after fight that followed Real Housewives viewing party
BBC: What’s so wrong with Comic Sans? (everything)
The Guardian: Somali schoolboy tells of how Islamists cut off his leg and hand
Bark Bite Blog: Black Eyed Peas keep the party rocking with “The Time” (I think the song sucks, but listen for yourself)
Reality Blurred: Why Survivor has 20 people instead of 16, and why there’s usually a final three
Orange County Register: Man who jumped from Disney structure ID’d

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AND WHATNOT: Rachel Zoe Loses Brad! Also, Weatherman Doesn’t Realize He’s On TV, and Jersey Shore Silliness

Styleite: BREAKING: Brad Goreski And Rachel Zoe Part Ways! (thanks jash)
Yahoo! Sports: Despite resources, players reluctant to seek help
The Telegraph: Rare pink hippo spotted (thanks Caty!)
Slashfood: Burger Wars: In-N-Out vs Five Guys
TMZ: Comedian Greg Giraldo Is Dead
Gawker: How a College Kid Livestreamed His Roommate Having Gay Sex, Possibly Causing a Suicide
The Upshot: Swanky new Vegas hotel’s ‘death ray’ proves inconvenient for some guests
Newsweek: 10 Things That Changed the Way We Eat
Curbed LA: Architects Dreaming: Muscular Tower Would Keep Downtown Up All Night
D-Listed: Speaking Of Tiny Noodles…
D-Listed: Japan Should Name Everything
Best Week Ever: 12 Glee Theme Episodes We’d Like to See
Geekweek: Nintendo To Release Wii Remote Plus
Starcasm: PHOTO: Mariah Carey leaving LAX in a wheelchair

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