THE HILLS FINALE PHOTOCAP: Goodbye, Sweet Hills

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I already posted a recap of The Hills finale, but MTV hadn’t posted pics yet from the episode. Now they’re up, which means that I can put a close to The Hills with one last photocap for old time’s sake.

After the jump, the end of an era. Sniff sniff…

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THE HILLS FINALE RECAP: The Rest Is Still Unwritten

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And now it’s over. Last night, The Hills sadly went off the air, capping a television season that saw many heavy hitters (Lost, 24, and Law & Order) go the way of the dodo. It was a bittersweet moment for me. Bitter because the show I had loved (and occasionally loved to hate) was now gone. Sweet because, well, I don’t know. Scratch that. THIS WAS AN ALL BITTER EXPERIENCE, AND NOW I’M ANGRY. Why must the TV gods yank this series from the airwaves, especially when it had just found its voice again in the past few weeks?

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and truth is that prior to its late-run rejuvenation, The Hills was kind of running on fumes. Plus, media awareness of the cast and all their lives really undermined any element of surprise, which is maybe why last night’s finale lacked some of the drama that perhaps was intended. The whole premise was that the central clique of girls — Kristin, Audrina, Steph, and Lo — were suddenly, for no apparent reason on screen, at a crossroads in their life. They had reached a quarter-life crisis, one that no doubt was spurred on by MTV’s decision to cancel the show. Now they all wanted to figure out what to do with their lives (ie. pitch their next reality show projects), which meant it was time to “move on.”

Now, I realize that at the ripe old age of 31 I may be over the hill, but when I hit 25, my friends and I didn’t suddenly raise a glass to the good times and decide to hit the road. But this was the finale; so I suppose we can suspend disbelief and pretend like these women were all on the verge of disappearing into the ether that had swallowed up Lauren Conrad whole.

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HILLS PHOTOCAP: And Now There’s An Elephant on the Show

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What happens when you take an annoying six-year-old, a psychotic crystal enthusiast, a pair of giant boobs, and one very large elephant and put them together? You get a party at the Pratt’s! Such was the scene that unfolded midway through last night’s episode of The Hills, which saw the further psychological unraveling of Spencer. This time around he wasn’t blathering away about the transformative powers of rocks. Instead he was rambling like a maniac about the awfulness of Heidi’s mom, who he stated was merely a vessel — or specifically, a vagina — to bring Heidi into the world. More to the point, Spencer suggested the reason behind Darlene’s disappointment over her daughter’s new face and body was because she couldn’t play God and make the ideal Heidi. Of course, this introduces the notion that the plastic surgeon and/or Spencer ARE God because they could mold Heidi into perfection, but we won’t go there.

The point is that Spencer has gone a tad nuts, and if drugs aren’t the culprit, then perhaps it’s just bad genes. When he wasn’t hollering at sister-in-law Holly, he was sucking face with a lamb (yes, a lamb). And when he wasn’t getting some hot, ovine tongue action, he was slamming doors and making “WOOOOO” sounds like Whitney Houston. For her part, Heidi just sort of sat there frozen, which may or may not have been a byproduct of her surgery. It’s safe to say that things are not going well for the Pratts.

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