Woman Falls Into A Mall Fountain, And That’s Her Least Humiliating Problem

This video is hilarious, and not just because it shows a woman so busy texting that she actually FALLS into a mall fountain. No, what’s hilarious about it is that this idiot now wants to sue the mall because no one came to her aid. “The fountain could have been empty… I could have been in the hospital… I could have walked into a bus; got hit by a car,” says Cathy Cruz Marrero, who seems happy to assign doomsday blame for her own stupidity. And speaking of stupidity, in case a) falling into a mall fountain and b) blaming the mall for it wasn’t stupid enough, Cathy Cruz Marrero wins the hat trick for idiocy by going on Good Morning America and exposing her dumb face to MILLIONS. Did she not realize that no one — absolutely no one — would have recognized her face or body from the grainy security cam footage in the original viral video? Bitch should have run home, spoken to no one, and locked herself in a room with a blow dryer. Then, worst case scenario: deny deny deny.

OR she could have done what the rest of us would have done: laughed at her own stupidity and milked it for a good status update and Tweet or two. I’m just spitballing, but I think “OMG you GUYZ, I just fell into a fountain at the mall. #FML!” would probably do the trick. Maybe even a “Who puts a fountain in a mall anyway? #GirlBye” too. There’s a whole world of possibilities for Cathy Cruz Marrero, and she most certainly took the worst route EVER. On the plus side, it is nice to point to someone new and say “That’s what’s wrong with America.” Really, on so many levels.

Big props to George Stephanopoulos for making it through the interview without cracking up.

In case the higher quality YouTube video above comes down, the official ABC News video is after the jump… Continue reading