The Real Housewives of Orange County was a veritable smorgasbord of dumb drama last night, and that’s usually the way it goes with these flaxen bitches, who perennially rally to give us the craziest season finales year after year. Last week, Earth nearly came to a halt when it was discovered that resident drunkard / swamp person Sarah had broken off a bow from Heather’s expensive cake. The fondant fiasco continued this week into part two this of the finale when Sarah tromped her way into a kitchen and attempted to plead her case again, still incredulous that her penchant for grazing on sugary playthings had caused such offense.
Oh mah gah. What a silly, spectacular way to kick off the Real Housewives of Orange County finale. I could talk about all the bizarre things like the return of Jeana, Slade’s weird turtleneck, Vicki’s new granny-tranny fur, and the Barney-Keough peace treaty of 2012, but let’s be honest: we only care about one thing and one thing only.
At the end of the day, the only thing people are really going to be talking about is that idiot drunkard Sarah and her flagrant fondant sabotage. In case you missed it, the girl snapped a piece of fondant bow off Heather’s fancy cake, and being the control-freak (and subscriber to basic etiquette) that she is, Heather freaked out. Honestly, I would have been mad too. If you shell out $5,000 for a cake, you don’t want some uninvited alky pickin’ away at your money’s worth.
Heather tried to play it cool at first, but leave it to trashy Tamra Barney to push the confrontation. She dragged the glassy-eyed Sarah over to the group and asked her if she’d eaten some of the bow. Sarah said she did, and then unapologetically lashed out at Heather, who at first politely expressed disdain for the act.