Here’s a fun rumor I’d like to indulge: a big screen version of The Hills might be headed our way. Back last year when the series ended, Hills creator Adam DiVello hinted that he wanted to take the seminal pseudo-reality show to the multiplex, but alas, the cast wasn’t on board.
Now it’s been a year, and the stars have aligned. Maybe. Audrina Patridge told Ryan Seacrest that “We’ve all had our break. Maybe we’ll all come back together and do a movie.” Translation: “Okay, I’m ready to be famous again.”
Of course, just because Audrina has fleetingly suggested she’d be game for a Hills movie doesn’t make it a green-lit project. However, with Lauren’s MTV pilot rejected, Heidi’s fame dwindling, and Whitney… well, Whitney seems happy and plucky — point is, the time might be right to get the band back together. I know I’d watch (and don’t you dare pass judgment, especially if you’re racing out to see Glee 3D). If only there were an epic big screen edition of The City in the pipeline too. Kelly Cutrone in Imax? I’m there.
There’s only one question: what will hit theaters first — this project or the Arrested Development movie?
Before Taylor Armstrong was known as that woman from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills getting divorced, she was merely friends with Linda Thompson, a.k.a. Brody’s Mom. And just as Linda Thompson has made several cameos in Taylor’s world on RHoBH, Taylor, it turns out, has made at least one appearance on The Hills.
I already posted a recap of The Hills finale, but MTV hadn’t posted pics yet from the episode. Now they’re up, which means that I can put a close to The Hills with one last photocap for old time’s sake.
I don’t know many details about this, but according to USA Today, Spencer Pratt tried to go to the Hills after party last night in Hollywood. Unsurprisingly, he was turned away at the door.
Upon seeing the above photo, Heidi’s reasons for divorce are now massively clear. Why even bother going through ten surgical procedures just to be stuck with what appears to be the offspring of Santa Claus and the Yeti.
But wait! According to People, Spencer’s crazy appearance was merely a costume intended to help him get into the Roosevelt Hotel. And MSNBC reports that Spencer told fans outside the Roosevelt that “I’m legally released now to be free in America. Freedom of speech. So you can hear my obnoxious mouth on a whole, grander scale!” The whole thing is sort of bonkers and pathetic. But sadly not unexpected.
And now it’s over. Last night, The Hills sadly went off the air, capping a television season that saw many heavy hitters (Lost, 24, and Law & Order) go the way of the dodo. It was a bittersweet moment for me. Bitter because the show I had loved (and occasionally loved to hate) was now gone. Sweet because, well, I don’t know. Scratch that. THIS WAS AN ALL BITTER EXPERIENCE, AND NOW I’M ANGRY. Why must the TV gods yank this series from the airwaves, especially when it had just found its voice again in the past few weeks?
Alas, all good things must come to an end, and truth is that prior to its late-run rejuvenation, The Hills was kind of running on fumes. Plus, media awareness of the cast and all their lives really undermined any element of surprise, which is maybe why last night’s finale lacked some of the drama that perhaps was intended. The whole premise was that the central clique of girls — Kristin, Audrina, Steph, and Lo — were suddenly, for no apparent reason on screen, at a crossroads in their life. They had reached a quarter-life crisis, one that no doubt was spurred on by MTV’s decision to cancel the show. Now they all wanted to figure out what to do with their lives (ie. pitch their next reality show projects), which meant it was time to “move on.”
Now, I realize that at the ripe old age of 31 I may be over the hill, but when I hit 25, my friends and I didn’t suddenly raise a glass to the good times and decide to hit the road. But this was the finale; so I suppose we can suspend disbelief and pretend like these women were all on the verge of disappearing into the ether that had swallowed up Lauren Conrad whole.
If there’s one thing I love to do, it’s shamelessly promote myself. Today I actually have a good reason for it. My friend Caleb Bacon and his compatriot Tim Hammer have a fun podcast named The Gentleman’s Club with Hammer and Bacon, and I was lucky enough to be a guest host on this week’s episode. This was actually my second time on the big shew, the first being on the very first premiere episode (I believe I shared billing with Darryl Strawberry, thank you very much).
We recorded the episode last Thursday when Emmy nominations came out; so we spend a bulk of the show talking about that. However, there’s some passing chatter about The Hills too, which sadly ends tonight (in case you weren’t aware). Anyway, do yourselves a favor and head over to the site (or iTunes!) and listen to the latest Gentleman’s Club podcast!
There’s only one, one, episode left of The Hills, and I’m starting to get a little misty-eyed. Where else am I going to get my weekly dose of grungy douchebags galavanting about Hollywood with no discernible direction in their lives? I suppose I could just, you know, step outside my apartment to find that, but it’s not as fun when I have to encounter it in real life. Nevertheless, the show is about to disappear forever, and perhaps the cast is realizing that their stars are about to fade away significantly. Why else would last night’s penultimate episode have been SO DAMN DEPRESSING?
The biggest downer came from Kristin, who revealed that she did truly want to have a relationship with Brody. Sucks for her though because the Brodester is dating some mystery girl now (my money’s on LC. The dramatic reveal in the finale would be too great for MTV to pass up, even if the two aren’t dating in real life). Brody first told his boyz about the secret lady friend while visiting a body shop that Sleazy-T apparently works at. And yes, in case you forgot, Brody’s new thing is to be all about Hemis and motorcycles. Why? I don’t know. But when one is a mercurial spirit like Brody Jenner, one never knows what douchey interests might surface in his life.
I’m loving The Hills these days. Kristin’s bitchy demeanor has come into its own (much as it did on her second season of Laguna Beach), and the introduction of this Allie Lutz girl has been nothing but pure entertainment. It’s somewhat tragic that we seem to be limited to only one run-in per week between these two because when they go at it, America wins. On last night’s show, it was more of the same between them. The two encountered each other at local club MyHouse, and unsurprisingly, Allie felt the need to march up to Kristin to announce that there was no reason for them to hate each other. Kristin wasn’t having any of it and retorted that Allie was certifiably insane. There was much talk about an alleged diamond ring, but ultimately, Allie retreated to her seat with McKaela, who once again bore the brunt of the cool kids’ wrath. Didn’t she know not to bring loser Allie “around”? (I love that they talk as if they’re in some 1950s diner).
I’m starting to feel a little sad about something. Out of nowhere, The Hills has become good again, but alas, it’s getting the ax. Such a sad fate for a once mighty show. To be fair, it’s downfall was its own doing. The show began to focus too much on the dolts and douchebags of Hollywood, rather than the girly girl crap that once made it so proud. Remember the days of Lauren and Heidi rifting as friends? Their arguments on the sofa? Their seething attacks? Their occasional negligence of Ashes the cat? Back then, the show was about girls bonding with girls and getting mad at each other (ie. Jen Bunney).
It seems as though The Hills has gotten back somewhat to its former place. Maybe the sudden disappearance of Speidi has something to do with it. Or maybe it’s that the “new cast” with Kristin at its helm has finally gelled. Stephanie has become oddly winsome lately, and her sweet romance with Max, who earns the title of first non-douchebag male suitor to appear on The Hills, has been shockingly charming. There’s something about her hangdog face and his smiley smile that makes me want these two to get together. Plus, he brought her Girl Scout Cookies. Bonus points there.