Honey Badger is FIERCE

I never knew anything about the honey badger until I read some article about badass animals last week. Now comes this video which describes the fearless nature of the beast with the perfect amount of thoughtfulness and sass. It’s like watching a nature special narrated by Isaac Mizrahi.

Sounds like 2011 is the year of the honey badge! (Rhymes with vag if you say it like that… and yes, my mind goes there).

Woman Falls Into A Mall Fountain, And That’s Her Least Humiliating Problem

This video is hilarious, and not just because it shows a woman so busy texting that she actually FALLS into a mall fountain. No, what’s hilarious about it is that this idiot now wants to sue the mall because no one came to her aid. “The fountain could have been empty… I could have been in the hospital… I could have walked into a bus; got hit by a car,” says Cathy Cruz Marrero, who seems happy to assign doomsday blame for her own stupidity. And speaking of stupidity, in case a) falling into a mall fountain and b) blaming the mall for it wasn’t stupid enough, Cathy Cruz Marrero wins the hat trick for idiocy by going on Good Morning America and exposing her dumb face to MILLIONS. Did she not realize that no one — absolutely no one — would have recognized her face or body from the grainy security cam footage in the original viral video? Bitch should have run home, spoken to no one, and locked herself in a room with a blow dryer. Then, worst case scenario: deny deny deny.

OR she could have done what the rest of us would have done: laughed at her own stupidity and milked it for a good status update and Tweet or two. I’m just spitballing, but I think “OMG you GUYZ, I just fell into a fountain at the mall. #FML!” would probably do the trick. Maybe even a “Who puts a fountain in a mall anyway? #GirlBye” too. There’s a whole world of possibilities for Cathy Cruz Marrero, and she most certainly took the worst route EVER. On the plus side, it is nice to point to someone new and say “That’s what’s wrong with America.” Really, on so many levels.

Big props to George Stephanopoulos for making it through the interview without cracking up.

In case the higher quality YouTube video above comes down, the official ABC News video is after the jump… Continue reading

The ‘Bed Intruder Song,’ As Sung By Christian Conservatives

The Bed Intruder Song has been the greatest viral hit of the year, and inevitably it has been covered by a cappella groups all across the country — most famously by the N’Harmonics at NYU, whose version has become a hit in its own right (despite some serious vocal shortcomings — listen to it here). Personally, I prefer the crisp stylings of the kids at ultra-conservative Liberty University, a school whose chancellor is none other than Jerry Falwell. So how does the religious right take on a song about “raping errbody out here?” Well, there were a few choice word changes, but aside from that, everything is largely intact. And quite frankly, these guys have much better voices than those NYU jokers.

Bonus points for the mashup at the end.

Via Socialite Life

AND WHATNOT: Food You Shouldn’t Eat; Also, Cher’s ‘Burlesque’ Reluctance and A Snowman Murder

Men’s Health: Worst Foods in America, 2010
PJStar.com: Champaign-Urbana bus driver mows down snow man, loses job
Wall Street Journal: YouTube’s Most Watched Videos of 2010 (thanks IndianJones)
Weho Daily: Gay ‘Housewives’ Show May Be Coming to Weho
Socialite Life: Cher Didn’t Want To Make ‘Burlesque’
Movieline: The 10 Best TV Episodes of the Year
ESPN: Brett Favre’s consecutive starts streak ends at 297
Best Week Ever: Jets Coach Trips Dolphins Player In Monty Python Copycat Crime

Sally Jesse Raphael Takes On ‘Jersey Shore’


I’m not sure what possessed former talk show queen Sally Jesse Raphael to release a parody video of Jersey Shore, but the daytime star did it anyway, and I’m happy to report that it’s as bizarre as you’d think it would be. Just about the only thing stranger would be if she were to put on a white wig, gold chains, and pretend to be Jimmy the Greek giving NFL Predictions.

Nevertheless, Sally’s take on the MTV series is surprisingly quite funny and blessedly short. Her “Oh Hell No” moment, however, may haunt my dreams for the next several nights. Bonus points: Sally now appears to sound just like Renny from Big Brother 10.

Of course, now i have to wonder what other maniacal parodies might spring forth from SJR’s twisted mind. Will we see her dressed as a zombie and attacking innocent flesh à la The Walking Dead (a show that I still haven’t seen because I’m scared). Or will we see her inevitable take on Joan Holloway in her interpretation of Mad Men? Personally, I think she should just go all avant-garde and give us her take of Tron. Think about it: Sally Jesse Raphael… on a motorcycle… throwing laser frisbees… while Daft Punk plays. This must happen.

To see the video, hop on over to Socialite Life