Recently in Television Category

It's July 4th weekend, and I think Ina Garten's got a message for all of us:

INDEED!

Last week, ABC premiered two "goofy" reality shows: Wipeout and I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Both have lots of potential, but only one seems to realize it. In short, Wipeout is awful. I could only bear to watch five minutes of it before turning it off. The main problem (among others): canned "play-by-play," which is clearly scripted in post production and is therefore dumb and annoying. The whole fun of a silly obstacle course should be the spontaneity of it all, but instead, Wipeout is dumbed down, thus proving that the producers have little or no faith that their subject can be amusing on its own. I know this is supposed to be a ripoff of MXC, but seriously, it's a piece of garbage.

On the other end of the spectrum is I Survived a Japanese Game Show, which is shaping up to be a great summer guilty pleasure. The show sort of plays out like The Gauntlet meets animé: two teams (the Yellow Penguins and Green Pandas) duke it out in a game show challenge, with the losing squad sending two members to an additional elimination challenge at the end of the episode. Along the way, there's plenty of funny yet fascinating cultural high jinks, and a spunky little housekeeper lady who's not unlike Japan's answer to Mrs. Beakley.

The first episode was hilarious, even if it was a bit uneven. However, last night's edition rose (just a tad) above the camp level as backstage drama flared. I actually found myself drawn into the story way more than I had expected. Don't get me wrong: this ain't high level stuff. But it's fun. My only critiques are the production similarities of Hell's Kitchen: same narration style, same interview style, same ambient music. I know the two shows share producers, but can we mix it up a bit? After all, if there's anything that reality TV has taught us, it's that we become more engaged when the characters do the exposition, not some disembodied voice (always a problem with Hell's Kitchen, in my humble opinion).

Nevertheless, in the clip above, one contestant, Meaghan, must act as a human claw and pluck stuffed pandas from a pile of balloons. Glorious exasperation ensues...

In less than two weeks, the tenth season of Big Brother will premiere on CBS, and I can't tell you how excited I am. Sure, we just finished season nine a scant eight weeks ago, but Big Brother is a drug like none other, and I don't care if I have to wait two months or two minutes for a new season. I want it NOW.

Of course, there were a lot of people who didn't love last season (unlike the vast majority, I enjoyed Til Death Do You Part quite a bit), but hopefully, plenty of viewers will return this summer and keep this most beloved of guilty pleasures alive and well. If you don't watch Big Brother, it's never too late to start. Why not give it a try this summer? As I like to say, it's not just a show. It's an experience. But be warned: without fail, the first three episodes are always exceedingly bland and boring to newbies. However, after three episodes, Big Brother will most certainly sink its claws into you and never let you go. That's a good thing.

So here's the good news. While the July 12th 13th premiere date is still a few days off, CBS will be revealing the new cast this Wednesday (according to Jokers Updates, which may or may not be wrong). I'll be sure to have a complete analysis right here at bsideblog.com, and of course, there will be photocaps of every show throughout the season. Tell all your friends!

Yesterday afternoon, while my friend Jash and I were getting drunk and watching TV, a most curious text message arrived on my phone. It came from my friend Caty, and for whatever reason, I felt the need to read it out loud (not a normal practice).

"This message is from my friend, Caty," I said, as if Jash even cared. "Just met Spike from Top Chef... You know him? He's nice."

Three. Two. One... MUTUAL GASP.

Maybe it was the booze or maybe it was our unhealthy obsession with Top Chef, but this news made Jash and I drop our jaws at the exact same time. (Sort of funny because it's not like the coolest news ever, even though it is pretty cool. I blame the booze). Anyway, I immediately called up Caty and asked her for the story. Turns out she had mixed up her bearded chefs. She had really meant to say "Andrew," who of course is just as awesome in our books. She said he was really cool and friendly and whatnot, but to be honest, the specifics are a little hazy (booze). All I do remember is that I commanded Caty to get a photo posthaste. And that's what she did. What a good friend. And what a cool chef. One more pic after the jump...

When it comes to Real World: Hollywood, no one passes judgment in a more snotty way than Sarah, the aspiring journalist from Arizona. Never is this more evident than in the clip above where Sarah comments, "Probably shouldn't be wrestling. Probably shouldn't be on top of another girl." The words alone aren't really what makes the clip. It's the prissy attitude, the cocked head, and the screwy face. All together, these factors combine to make a glorious moment of bitchiness.

And speaking of which, two bonus pics of Janelle giving her best "I'M A BITCH" face after the jump.

I'm not gonna lie: the latest episode of the The Real World totally caught me by surprise. For forty-five minutes, it seemed to be dwelling in Sarah's awful, judgmental behavior (with occasional bland detours into the world of Briana) when suddenly, out of nowhere, the specter of cancer up and KILLED a person on the show. What the? Poor Brandon, who served as a mentor to Nick, was gone before we knew him, sadly succumbing to the disease he had apparently battling for quite some time. He only first surfaced on this episode, but his passing was still remarkably powerful, what with his dying wishes for Nick to carry the torch for him in entertainment. I'm not gonna lie: I was a bit misty-eyed (and then some).

However, as tragic as the last ten minutes of the episode were, we simply cannot overlook the rest of the show, which truly featured Sarah at her worst. She may be smart, but her bitchy, prudish attitude has been reaching new heights (or lows) of obnoxiousness — as evidenced by the way she literally tattled to Charna about Nick's alleged loudness the night prior. Oh, and then there's the way she addresses the camera: narrowing one eye, tilting her head, dismissing whoever it is she's talking about, etc.. She's become fairly awful — to the point of hilarity — which is why it was so wonderful to see Sarah first fail at her hosting gigs and then get wasted, fall over, barf in her hair, and then devolve into an incoherent mess of tears. Perfect cosmic justic; although, I should note that she wasn't entirely incapacitated — she did have enough wherewithal to hurl a lightly racist comment at Nick; so that was pleasant and everything.

Photocap after the jump...

Grab your stamens of crocuses! Ina Garten has something to say about burnt cheese, and it's not kind. Check out the Barefoot Contessa video above to find out how she feels when her GOOD cheddar and GOOD gruyere get singed...

All this discussion about a possible Arrested Development movie has gotten me in a tizzy. I just had to post another video (plus, after my Heidi post, I had to earn back some blogger cred). Anyway, this clip features the gloriously withering reactions of Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) at a Denny's-like restaurant. Comic perfection incarnate.

Click for a classic Lucille Austero moment.

If Arrested Development comes back, Lucille II wants in. That's right. Liza Minnelli, who famously played Bluth family rival/siren Lucille Austero, has told the New York Daily News that she wants to be part of the Arrested Development movie. Who knows if producers will heed her request, but finding a place for her in the movie would certainly be, as Lucille Austero would say, a grand gesture. Let's just hope this project moves forward as planned (stoking the flames of internet buzz...).

• MINNELLI HOPES FOR ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT FILM CAMEO [Contact Music]

What's your favorite Lucille II moment/quote?

I'm not playing a trick — er, illusion — on you. The long-rumored Arrested Development movie has been confirmed by Jason Bateman. Details are still murky (they're witholding. Look at them, getting off...) but according to The Times, it appears as though the Bluth family is coming to the big screen sometime next year. Now, I won't get too excited, as relying on a British paper for a Hollywood scoop can be a bit perilous; however, the mere prospect of this project becoming a reality gives me a case of the Lucille Austero dizzies.

If you haven't jumped onto the Arrested Development bandwagon yet (C'MON!), it's never too late. HDNet airs the reruns every day, and of course, there are the DVDs. Take it from me, a relatively late convert, the more you watch, the better it gets.

• WHAT A 'FUN, SEXY TIME' FOR US: JASON BATEMAN CONFIRMS 'ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT' MOVIE TO SHOOT NEXT YEAR [Defamer]

Great! She'll make lunch.

Ever since I saw the intro to this (GOOD) episode of Barefoot Contessa last year, it has ranked as one of my favorite Ina Garten moments. The combination of her WASPy sass and pleasant hospitality mixed with the images of her swabbing down a deck are too amazing to be denied. Plus, she makes mention of a tugboat. How bad can that be?

Just remember that if you view this while cooking, please be sure to use GOOD vanilla extract.

The Daytime Emmys were held last night, and while I didn't watch the festivities, I certainly checked out Yahoo's photo galleries, and needless to say, there are several intriguing pics on display. After the jump, my five favorite shots of the night.

In case you haven't been watching Real World: Hollywood, do yourself a favor and spend this weekend catching up on every episode. After reaching a total creative and casting nadir with Real World: Denver, I thought the series was dead. It no longer seemed relevant or remotely fascinating. I stopped watching, and for the first time in ten years, completely missed an entire season (Sydney). But then came Hollywood. I had to watch it because that's where I live. Little did I realize that this new season with its revamped format would serve as the return to form that this franchise has so desperately needed. Yeah, there've been some good later seasons (I enjoyed Key West and San Diego), but the truth is that ever since Vegas, the storylines had become tiresome, and the cast members boring drunks who merely drone on for episode after episode about stupid hookups made when stupidly drunk.

This time around, the drama has felt bigger, better, and more riveting. The entire saga of poor Joey, the livewire addict who went from Incredible Hulk to rehab specialist, was more fascinating than most anything else on TV this spring. Plus, actually getting a cast with real career goals (even if they are in entertainment) makes a huge difference. There actually does seem to be a relatable through-line to the season: how to get your ass in gear when everything around you is tempting you to do otherwise. The show is relevant again (for the time being).

That's not to say it's without its old charms. Take, for instance, the clip above the clip here (obnoxiously, MTV doesn't allow the clip to be embedded in blogs). Sarah, one of the most judgmental girls in the house, gets a bit too tipsy at dinner, and well, vomit ensues. Ah, but the best part isn't the puking (although, it's pretty good). The best part is her vitriolic rant at the very end of the clip. To paraphrase her, "Probably shouldn't have been drinking. Probably shouldn't have been puking all over the sidewalk."

Nevertheless, a photocap of Wednesday's show after the jump...

It was only a matter of time before the big companies decided to capitalize on The Hills. Take for example this silly commercial featuring Lauren Conrad and Brody Jenner babbling away with the assistance of their AT&T cell phones. It's actually not a particularly impressive spot (nor is it very funny), but hey, the welcome return of Warrant on the soundtrack is always a plus. And here I am posting it in the blogosphere; so the gambit worked. Thanks to reader Rachel for the heads up...

With last night's (slightly dull) reunion special, Top Chef: Chicago came to a triumphant end. I was really hoping for more histrionics and drama in the episode — or at the very least, some hostile barking from Lisa — but we really only got a bunch of montages that weren't too great. I did, however, enjoy re-watching some of the big fights, and the Lisa montage was great (if not a bit lacking in some of her finer tantrums).

Still, the reunion could have been much better. Andy Cohen practically ignored Nikki, not to mention practically everyone who was eliminated in the first seven episodes. On the plus side, we did get to see Gail Simmons sleeping at the judges table and the unveiling of this season's t-shirt: "I Have a Culinary Boner." I must admit for the first time ever a) I would buy the t-shirt, and b) the catchphrase is actually funny (unlike CJ's dumb line from last season -- which I don't even remember). Also, what was up with the random Zoi (pronounced "Zoey" not "ZOY") and Jen relationship intrigue. They acted all cagey about their romantic status (translation: broken up) as if the paparazzi were just knocking down their doors at all times. Jen in particular got all red in the face (I assume she was embarrassed, but perhaps she's an alky. HENCE THE BREAKUP -- allegedy).

Anyway, as usual Bravo posted a poor selection of photos on their website; so rather than give you an anemic photocap with only five pics, I decided to also go back and pluck some images from earlier in the season before I started to do the photocaps. Enjoy!

Last week, I was invited to a very special Emmy celebration. No, this wasn't an award show. No golden statuettes were handed out. This was a celebration for the Emmys. You see, our favorite television award turned sixty this year, and to celebrate this ripe old anniversary, the Academy decided to throw an event, replete with kitschy prizes and free food. Oh, and did I mention the presence of Marc Summers? It was too tempting to pass up, even if it did take place in the heart of the valley. With a camera in hand, and a fellow blogger by my side (Lisa Timmons, editor extraordinaire of A Socialite's Life), I headed to North Hollywood for what would be one of the more colorful, hilarious, and dare I say exciting nights of the year...

Click to play

Tonight, Bravo airs the Top Chef: Chicago reunion, and what better way to get in the mood than by listening to the music of Padma Lakshmi. No, these aren't original compositions. These are merely a sampling of her favorite tunes, which she shared on Los Angeles NPR outpost, KCRW. To hear the segment, click on the player above. It's worth a listen if only to hear Padma's "Thank you" in the first fifteen seconds (not to mention her description of Robert Palmer's "louche sexiness" later on).

Unsurprising quote of the program: "You know, there was all this marijuana smoke around me!"

• The Music of Padma Lakshmi [Eater LA]
• Guest DJ Project [KCRW]

Who killed Laura Palmer? That's one secret I'll never tell.
--XOXO, Gossip Cougar.

Holy umlaut! What happens if you take three of my favorite subjects — cougars, Twin Peaks, and Gossip Girl — and mix them together? You get Mädchen Amick, who according to EW.com, will be joining the buzzworthy CW teen soap this fall as a recurring character. Perhaps most famous for playing Shelly on Twin Peaks, Mäds (that's what I call her) will be playing "a sizzling cougar named Catherine Mason [who] will tempt young Nate (Chace Crawford) with a little May-December love." Sounds intriguing (and slightly season one of The O.C., but that's okay. I always liked the Luke-Julie storyline). I just hope the writers introduce some David Lynch-esque touches in honor of their new castmate. Heck, they've already got a creepy midget thanks to Hazel. Maybe one of Blair's sidekicks can start carrying around a log? Just thinking out loud.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I highly recommend catching up on both series.

In case you missed Friday's Late Show with David Letterman, Spencer Pratt appeared as a guest, and within minutes, he managed to embarrass himself in an attempt to strut his celebrity persona. Luckily, Letterman happily put him in his place with a few dismissive chuckles and a sardonic quip or two. Leno fans, take note.

FUCK YOU, bloggers!

Doing much to dispel her reputation as a pugnacious uber-bitch in search of a simple congratulations, Top Chef's Lisa Fernandes tells the The New York Daily News that "No matter what the blogs say about me not taking into consideration about what the judges tell me, or that I don't respond well to criticism, that's not true." Point taken. In fact, Lisa responds to criticism so well that she also says this:

Oh no, I don't read the blogs – you couldn't pay me to read the blogs. I don't want to know what people who can't even afford to eat in my restaurant, let alone know how to cook have to say about me, and the few comments I did read on Eater.com a few weeks back because my job asked me to read 'em. The best they could come up with was that I was ugly.

So there you have it. Even though the blogs that she DOESN'T read say she doesn't take criticism well, she's proven that everything does in fact roll right off her back. Well done!

Lisa Fernandes is last New Yorker standing on 'Top Chef' [NY Daily News via Serious Eats]

Last night, another sweet and spicy season of Top Chef drew to a close, but not before giving us a tasting menu's worth of anxiety as the producers successfully conned me into believing that Lisa actually had a chance of winning the whole thing. I knew it was just a bunch of misdirection, but stranger things have happened on Top Chef, and after serving a bowl of Tom Kha soup that Gail would NOT. SHUT. UP. about, I thought Lisa might actually get the official congratulations she so desperately sought out.

Thankfully, justice prevailed, and the deserving chef won. All is right with this world again. However, before we turn our attention to the next crop of Bravo competitions (Shear Genius, Project Runway 5), let's look back for one last season 5 photocap, shall we?

Well, hello.

Top Chef wraps up its solid fourth season tonight, which means that by the end of the evening, one of the three remaining "cheftestants" will be walking home with the proverbial gold medal. By most accounts, it's a tight race between the affable Richard (he of the oft-maligned faux-hawk, the dorky puns, and the generally well-executed dishes) and the dark horse Stephanie (really? I keep thinking she got eliminated five weeks ago). However, there's always a chance that the bitter, living incarnation of Cookiepus, Lisa (best known for her perma-scowl, greasy hair, and gruff attitude) will serve as the spoiler yet again. Most people are shocked she's made it this far as it appears there have been a host of other chefs seemingly more deserving of a shot at the finals than she. However, this is Top Chef, a show that hasn't been afraid to knock frontrunners out the competition following one bad pilaf. Remember Sam? How about Tre? Anything goes on Top Chef, and it got me thinking: what have been the most surprising exits in the series' history? Who have been the chefs that we thought had a true shot at the finals, only to come up short?

Now an update from the ever evolving world of reality whoredom: Brody Jenner will be hosting a reality show to find a new member of his entourage. Not sure who has standards low enough to compete for such a staggering prize, but MTV plans to air it all, from the homoerotic courting rituals to the "Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies." I suppose this will all be tongue and cheek, which I get, but still, I never knew that hot tubs played such a prominent role in Brody Jenner's man-posse. Nevertheless, I'm sure the race to be the next Spencer or Frankie will be equal parts heated and sensual, and according to MTV senior VP series development Liz Gately, "Brody is the perfect fit for this concept; he is type of guy everyone wants to hang out with." And by "everyone," she means "fame-whoring douchebags."

And yet, I'll be watching.

'Hills' co-star lands MTV series [Hollywood Reporter via Reality Blurred]

Well, Top Chef headed down to Puerto Rico last night for part one of its finale, and I have to say, I was none to happy with the results. The outcome was a veritable "FUCK YOU!" to the audience; although, I suppose I can understand the judges' rationale. Truth is that since we can't eat the food, we can't really say with authority who should truly stay or go. All I will say is that certain chefs with bad attitudes and even worse hairstyles have been on the bottom of nearly every competition this season while others with marvelous palettes and affable personalities have won multiple competitions. Is the fix in? Perhaps.

Photocap after the jump.

And by the way, I know you're busy doing whatever you do all day, but a congratulations for posting this would have been a little bit nice...

IT'S SO SAD!

Jessica Trent. Gavin Beasley. Elodie Otto. These are the brave souls who selflessly shared their blanks stares, their disapproving glances, and their penchant for Baked Salmon rolls all so we could enjoy that much more of The Hills. And what have they gotten in return? NOTHING.

That's right, ever since landing primo supporting gigs on the MTV sensation, their lives have gone to hell (more or less). Jessica Trent, the oft-maligned whipping girl of Kelly Cutrone, endured a half-season of mockery, causing her to leave The People's Revolution lest her professional career take any more hits (bad news: it's probably too late). Now she spends her time organizing her closet.

Meanwhile, Gavin Beasley, a one-time suitor of Lauren Conrad, has become famous for pushing a certain sushi roll on the show's star despite her previous proclamations that she did not, in fact, like salmon. Now he must live with the unfortunate and burdensome reputation of being an intolerant salmon foister, never able to go on a single date again without girls cowering in fear that he might just shove an entire Philly Roll down their throats. A horrible legacy indeed.

But perhaps the most tragic tale of all focuses around one of our favorite departed Hills members: Elodie Otto. Fans know her as the girl who couldn't remember the English words for "pots and pans," but even more importantly, she's most famous as the once faithful sidekick to Heidi Montag who saw her job prospects vanish once her Master stole the job she had slaved for. This awkward impasse was unforgettably punctuated with one of the greatest quotes from The Hills canon: "You don't even know what's wrong and what's right anymore. IT'S SO SAD!"

Well, according to the Los Angeles Times, it appears that Heidi didn't steal her sidekick's position after all. Turns out Elodie had already quit SBE months before in an effort to parlay her fame (cough) into a lucrative bath and body product line. Surprise, surprise — the venture failed. It's too bad, really. I always did kind of associate Elodie with a luffa sponge.

Truth is that while Lauren, Audrina, Heidi, and Whitney lead what appear to be charmed lives, their armies of sidekicks often find themselves left behind in the dust cloud of fame. Hopefully, one of the minor Hills characters will achieve glory on their own terms (crossing fingers for Justin Bobby), but until then, we'll just have to hope a job opens up a Red Lobster.

To read more about life after The Hills, check out the full article here. Thanks to Jessica for the tip!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our Top Chef final four. After a grueling beef-based episode that saw the chefs conquering the famed Chicago steakhouse scene, one unlucky person was unceremoniously chopped from competition like a lonesome ribeye at the butchery. Okay, that was a forced analogy, but on an installment that was all about meat, how could I resist a little steak punnage?

Nevertheless, the outcome of the episode wasn't entirely surprising. Heck, we called it right from the getgo. But the producers did try to fool us (didn't even come close to working), and in the end, while I was sad to see the loser go home, I knew there was no other viable choice for the judges.

Anyway, to the photocap!

It's official: The Real Housewives of New York City has to be one of the best reality shows of the year. Even last night's glorious, welcomed, and hodgepodge clip show with no narrative structure proved more fascinating and enthralling than most anything else for the past two months (or at least since Housewives wrapped up its first season). Then again, I think I wouldn't be alone in saying that I could watch unedited dailies of these women and still be thoroughly amused.

There were so many wonderfully awkward moments in last night's show: the continued awfulness of Ramona, who remains shamelessly gauche in her lack of self-awareness; the tacky yet oddly lovable material desires of Jill Zarin, who still knows how to lay the smackdown on her rivals; the confused outlook of Countess LuAnn's son, who regrettably thinks the Statue of Liberty stands for friendship, not, you know, liberty; the further adventures of François McCord, whose reign of terror extended to an unassuming art class with an exasperated teacher; and of course the ever tragic state of Bethenny's biological clock, whose loud ticking can only be drowned out by a hefty glass of white wine.

Yes, it was all amazing and jaw-dropping, but sadly, Bravo hasn't posted any pics from the episode. Dammit. Well, what better time to go back and post the long overdue reunion photocap? Pics after the jump...

When Padma said that Top Chef had thrown "Restaurant Wars" to the wayside to make room for "Wedding Wars," I knew it just couldn't be true. Sure enough, the seasonal tradition was back last night as the remaining six contestants split into two teams and duked it out, culinary style. In one kitchen were the three strongest chefs: Richard, Antonia, and that girl I keep thinking is eliminated but isn't (Stephanie?). In the other kitchen was the trainwreck crew: Dale, Lisa, and Spike. So what happened? Well, the strong chefs excelled, and the trainwreck chefs, well, they created a trainwreck. Thankfully, Spike stayed out of the fray, leaving him safe at the Judges' Table, but the Dale and Lisa rivalry finally came to a head, and one of them was sent packing. Who was it? Well, let's just say his name rhymes with his attitude: STALE.

Anyway, here's the photocap. Request to Bravo: more photos from the tastings and judges' table. Thanks in advance, Andy Cohen!

Today marks the final episode of Reality Remix, the Fox Reality staple that helped launched the network. As some of you may or may not know, I used to be a writer on the show, and then after selling TVgasm, I left to blog full-time. Still, that didn't keep me far from my old Burbank haunts as the good people at Reality Remix kept me in the fam, inviting me back to babble away about reality TV on many of their "Weekend Round Tables" — an opportunity which not only helped me develop on-air skills, but also let me meet some of my favorite stars in the genre.

Anyway, the show wrapped up production on its last two episodes yesterday, and to celebrate its run, a small barbecue was had on the set. The promise of reality stars and free food was entirely too intoxicating for me to resist. Oh, and I GUESS seeing all my former co-workers too (rolling eyes). A few pics from the morning after the jump.

Last night, I complained that the fix was in for David Archuleta to win American Idol, but how wrong I was. In an instant (precisely one instant after my Tivo cut off, grrr), this entire season was redeemed when relative underdog David Cook swooped in and took the victory. I let out a celebratory "YES!" and for the first time in several seasons, I was pleased with the Idol coronation.

All season long, I resisted jumping on the Cook bandwagon. I lamented his unfortunate hair stylings (still do), cited a lack of authenticity, and generally mocked his emo trappings. But ultimately, in the finale, he won me over, and heck, better late than never. On Tuesday night, he stepped up and made his claim to the stage, and clearly, America responded.

Feel like getting your psycho on? Well, now's the perfect opportunity. Entourage will be filming Thursday and Friday on Franklin Avenue in Hollywood. All the whens and wheres are in the picture above. Who knows — maybe now you'll be able to get that lanky, awkward Grenier fix you've been so desperately needing.

Photo via rickey.org

I don't know why, but for some reason the people behind American Idol want David Archuleta to win. Maybe they're hoping his presence will boost ticket sales for the summer tour. Maybe they're trying to gain a larger share of the adult contemporary market. Or maybe they're just plain loco. But the simple truth remains that lil' Davey, while technically a great vocalist, is certainly no star.

And yet on tonight's final performance show, the judges gave him near unanimous praise. Huh? Were they hearing the same sounds? Maybe the acoustics in the new Nokia Theater venue screwed with their ears because as far as I could tell from my cozy seat in the Hollywood Hills, David Archuleta was a veritable snooze-fest. Whereas David Cook seemed to command the stage unlike ever before, David Archuleta seemed to get swallowed up in it. As you can imagine, I was astounded when Simon said all three rounds went to the boy wonder. Let the headscratching commence.

This is astounding. Oprah Winfrey. Her favorite things. One very enthusiastic/ridiculous audience...

via digphilly

Sent from a secret operative just seconds ago...

When I was in Europe a few weeks ago, there was one commercial that played over and over and over again on CNN International, and thankfully, I just found it on YouTube. It's a bombastic spot intended to lure investors to the emirate of Ajman, but instead, it just kind of plays out like light cult indoctrination, especially when the enthusiastic narrator announces, "The power of belief paves the way for achievement!" All that's missing are some John Woo doves. Nevertheless, the commercial in its entirety is above, and if you're fascinated by life in the UAE, check out my friend's blog here.

Whew! The two part House season finale certainly put me through the wringer. It was hard to top last week's fantastic episode, but Monday's second installment came close. In a surprising but appropriate turn of events, the show traded in its patented barbs in favor of non-stop urgent drama, and the result left me, well, a bit verklemped. Somehow, I managed to just barely keep my composure, but man, it was hard.