Recently in America's Next Top Model Category
Breaking news! According to Reality Blurred, androgynous Top Model mainstay "Miss J"Alexander has been demoted from judge to mentor, thus meaning we'll be deprived of some of the runway coach's more thoughtful insights such as "She done better show that BOOTY!" or "TWEET TWEET TWEET LIKE A BIRD, GIRL!" or "That's not a model face, that's a model TRAIN face! Because that face is a TRAIN WRECK! TOOOT TOOOOOT TOOOOOOOT!!! She crashed into a cow on the train tracks with her face! And that cow was her body because she got a cow body! MoooOOOO!!!"
Taking over the vacant spot on the panel will be fashion personality André Leon Talley, who certainly is no less annoying than Miss J, but at least he has some clout in the industry to legitimize himself.
When asked to comment about his demotion, Miss J merely replied "OOOOooooooOOOOoooOOOOOO child!!!", later adding "He done better get his booo-booo-BOOO on the mmmmHMMMMM, weeeeeOOOOOweeee." He then fluttered his eye lashes, patted his hair, and said "This is a hot mess right here, that's what it is." At which point Tyra appeared out of nowhere to announce, "You so crazy, Miss J!" causing Miss J to respond, "Crazy like a fool! CUCKOOO! CUCKOO!! CUCKOO!!!" This in turn caused Tyra to repeatedly thrust herself forward like a fierce cuckoo bird, with Miss J shouting "WURK IT! WURK IT!" with each surge forward.
Actually, none of that happened, but to read more, check out the full story here.
Via D-Listed
Reality Blurred: 13th finalist will get a different, non-sex number; Fox exec: “we knew†IDOLS-13 wasn’t available
Lisa Timmons: Creation of Shia
LA Rag Mag: Amazing Race Winner Eric Sanchez's Naughty Webcam Photos!!!
Midseason Replacements: AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL: THE FALL OF TYRA
TV Week: Defeating the DVR to Promote Shows
Socialite Life: 'Gossip Girl' Star Arrested
Flickr: Feb09 757
Franklin Avenue: Spot Today's Downsized L.A. Times Mistake
Jokers Updates: Big Brother Casting Has Begun
LAist: Man Dies After Eating Mushrooms Picked in a Park
This could be you! ANTM winner, Jaslene Gonzalez.
Since it's a well known fact that my readers are the most beautiful and striking readers on the Internets, it should come as no surprise that a "modeling consultant" involved in the casting of America's Next Top Model contacted yours truly about the latest search for Tyra's next crop of beauties. That's right, if you always thought you could work the runway and endure hours of Miss Jay's not-very-funny humor, then this might be the opportunity you've been waiting for. ANTM is casting for its next season, and you could be exactly who they're looking for.
If you want to get into the action, check out the casting notice at Got Cast. And remember, if you make it onto the show, I expect minor props and/or a lock of hair.
FIERCE!
Pic courtesy of Socialite Life
Behold the Tyra Banks school of facial dexterity. You can just barely hear her scolding an ingenue for doing "this" [goofy smile, fluttering eyelids] and not "this" [pursed lips, narrow eyes]. To Tyra's credit though, only she could pull off this silly collection of smiles with such a gigantic mane of hair.
For more insights into the world of Tyra, be sure to read the New York Times Magazine article here.
UPDATE: For an amazing video of Tyra showing off her smiles, click here. (Only the first two minutes pertain to smiling, the rest is just Tyra-talk)
Back in Cycle 9 of America's Next Top Model, we watched the girls stumble and slur their way through one of the most ill-conceived product titles of all time: the Wetslicks Fruit Spritzer. To the uninitiated (ie. me), it sounded like the models were merely saying "westshlicksfritzsprtizer," especially when queen marble-mouth Jaslene got in on the action. Now CoverGirl is back with yet another tongue twister of a product name, and sure enough, Fatima, Whitney, and Anya all managed to completely botch it, reducing the brand to a mishmash of syllables that sounded not unlike "blashtlashtlashblahsshsblashssplash." I don't blame the girls. I blame whoever came up with the stupid tagline.
Nevertheless, I'm not even going to say what this product is called because trying to guess the words is half the fun.
Tyra Banks reached new levels of ridiculousness on last night's America's Next Top Model, and as I watched her "sprain her ankle," I couldn't help wondering if she had stolen some moves from Ben Stiller when he played a certain magician on Arrested Development. Above, Tyra doing her thing. After the jump, two Tony Wonder clips.
Two days ago, my boring old trip to the frozen yogurt shop was made considerably more amusing and bizarre with the sudden appearance of a dairy-hoarding, jalopy-driving Faye Dunaway. The entire experience was so strange that I couldn't help but to blog all about it. Then again, I blog about lint I find in my belly button; so I suppose it's not so surprising that I immediately ran back to my keyboard to detail the event. But I digress (as usual).
Well, I returned to the fateful yogurt shop tonight after a spicy Thai dinner mandated the sort of cold relief that only a healthy serving of frozen yogurt (or ice cream, really) could provide. Little did I realize that my return to Angelina Yogurt would yield another star sighting with equally noteworthy behavior. Of course, I use the term "star" in its loosest possible way. I'm talking about a reality star, and a long since forgotten one at that. But hey, a name is a name, and even if she was just a normal person, her etiquette deserved to be broadcast to the world anyway.
