Recently in Bromance Category
In a sad bit of news, Bromance came to a stirring conclusion last night, which means we no longer have the adventures of Brody Jenner and his posse of followers to poke fun of. The show was surprisingly entertaining and filled with all sorts of likable characters. Plus, the homoerotic subtext was really just a glorious wellspring of amusement. Hopefully we'll get a second season that lasts a bit longer than just six scant episodes. In the meantime, enjoy this one last trip down Bro-memory Lane...
A shocking turn of events on Bromance! No, it's not that Brody threw a hissy fit (albeit a fake one). It's that Alex was eliminated, thus taking him out of the running to be America's Next Top Sidekick. This was a surprise — at least to me — as Alex seemed like the one to beat. He seemed nice, grounded, and just muted enough to be the perfect second banana. However, when he failed to be honest to Brody during a prank concerning flamboyant jeans (dubbed "BJs"), his stock rapidly plunged. Personally, I felt this was somewhat unfair. Yeah, Alex didn't man up and express how he truly felt about the jeans, but given the dynamic that Brody has created — one where these guys are actively seeking his approval — what else could the Brodester really expect but genuflection? Of course, not everyone kissed Brody's ass. Femi was straight up honest and bashed the outfit, but I still wonder if his motivation stemmed more from fear of public humiliation or genuine concern for Brody's reputation. Then again, does it really matter? No. No, it doesn't.
The jeans foible was regrettable, but what really did Alex in was his inability to communicate with a super hot Playboy bunny. Instead of engaging in conversation, Alex pulled an electric guitar off the wall and blurted out some odd tune that sounded a bit like John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Dave Matthews all rolled into one. In other words, it was awkward. (One thing I learned upon moving to LA eight years ago: people don't really like jam band sounds out here).
Well, one thing led to another, Alex was sent packing, and now we only have three contenders left. And guess what? Now we only have one episode left. That was quick. On to the photocap...
When it comes to finding a best friend, what better way to test a prospect's mettle than by stripping him down to shorts and letting him grapple with a big, muscular, sweaty man? That was one of this week's challenges on Bromance, which saw Brody Jenner continue his search for his next servile sidekick. When not engaging in the pleasures of the flesh with biker dude Mario, the guys were off in the wilderness on a small camping trip, which meant they got to go fishing, light a campfire, and run away from baby alligators (don't ask). But mostly what the dudes did was listen to Brody backdoor brag once again, this time with stories of Elvis and conception at the Playboy Mansion.
Meanwhile, Alex and Luke continued to prove themselves as frontrunners for Brody's affection. Both actually seem like decent kids, and surely everyone watching had to have been impressed when Luke pinned the aforementioned sweaty biker dude. It was such a surprising turn of events that it was no wonder that he won a very special dinner with Brody himself. And thank God he did! Otherwise, we never would have heard about Brody's darkest moment: the day he learned that his original reality show The Princes of Malibu had been cancelled after ONE EPISODE. Oh, the horrors! You really learn who your true friends are once you've experienced your first reality TV bomb...
As amusing as this moving glimpse into Brody's world was, it couldn't compare to the touchy-feely trust circle which ensued the next day. Think Starting Over, but douchier. Pretty much all the guys cried, which is fine, but what really made the segment mockable was the silly life coach who steered the discussion. Imagine every silly pop-psych cliché you can think of and then multiply it by ten. That's what it was like. Needless to say, it was an emotional journey indeed...
Bromance continues to entertain, and while only one guy cried this week (down from about eight last week), there was still plenty to enjoy. Homoeroticism still ran amuck, as evidenced by the screenshot above which features Frankie and Sleazy T checking Brody out in the shower. Granted, that scene felt incredibly staged, but it wasn't exactly untrue to the spirit of the series.
Anyway, this week the supplicants had to first impress Lauren Conrad in a low-rent version of the dating game, and while I'd love to share how amusing this segment was, I found it to be rather forgettable. More interesting was the big challenge of the episode in which the guys had to create activities that demonstrated their interests and personalities. Luke dug up a neat miniature golf course in the backyard; Derek assembled a stupid Slip 'n' Slide contraption; Alex — quickly becoming the frontrunner — engaged in a funky musical jam session (the only activity that looked both genuine to his personality and like something he'd actually do on a Saturday afternoon); Gary led a rather unfortunate dance class; Chris crashed and bombed with an ill-advised stand-up routine (seriously? That's what you do for fun? You set up a stage and do stand-up in your house?); and Femi puzzled everyone with a rambling critique of everyone's style. Of course, this lecture on style turned bizarre when he revealed that he not only had pit stains so big they almost connected, but that he was also going to get a tattoo that looked exactly like Brody's. There was a big hullabaloo about Femi being a copycat, which he was, but I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, these guys acted as if a tattoo in Old English font was the most unique thing in the world. Tattoos are tattoos. Look how many guys get the stupid tribal band or how many girls get the tramp stamp. Originality is not the genre's forté. Personally, I was more confused as to how a tattoo artist appeared out of nowhere with an entire settup inside the house.
Nevertheless, onto the photocap...
"You like that, Chris? You like it?"
"MORE! MORE!"
Bromance continues to be a surprisingly hilarious and entertaining hour — a perfect way to kick off Monday night television (at least on the West coast where it airs at 6 PM on Directv, followed by The City and then Gossip Girl. Like omg, best progression evah!). Anyway, this week's episode was pretty much more of the same: silly activities teeming with unbridled homoeroticism. Making things more interesting, however, were the sheer number of tears shed as these guys opened up to Brody, each other, and America. Jered cried when he revealed that he missed his family and friends (it was sweet, but I'm not sure it qualified as soul-baring, as Brody said), Femi cried when asked why he was always the center of conflict, Chris P. cried when he flubbed a one-on-one meeting with the Brodester, and Gary cried when he felt bad for calling Femi fake. Hey, it's perfectly normal for guys to have emotions and petty squabbles, but it doesn't mean it's not funny — especially on this show.
Anyway, after getting wasted at a vodka bar and puking all over a van, a yacht, and a little paper bag, Chris P. was sent off in a little Bro-boat, never to be heard from again. Too bad. He actually seemed like one of the better candidates, but apparently his nerves (and low tolerance) got the best of him. Onwards and upwards, men!
Christmas came late this year as MTV launched two must-see shows Monday night: The City (more on that in another post) and Bromance — the latter show being so awful and full of unbridled homoerotic preening that it just can't be missed. To be honest, I wasn't going to watch much of Bromance. I thought I'd sample the first episode and then move on with my life. After all, there's only so much whining from Brody one person can take (and at an hour a pop, Bromance promised to test my patience). The good news is that given his set of minions to control, Brody is much less of a bitch and can even be, dare I say it, affable. I mean, he's still a douche. But maybe a nice douche? Gosh, what are these words I'm saying? Is it possible I'm developing bromantic feelings for the Jenner spawn?
Probably not. Nevertheless, the premiere episode had many moments of unintentional hilarity — from the way the wannabes gush about Brody as if he's a demigod to the sudsy elimination ceremony which takes place in a hot tub, of all places. I know this show must be taken with a grain of salt, and clearly, there's some winking at the audience by producer Ryan Seacrest (never one to shy away from homoerotic material), but the tub was simply too ridiculous. Even better was how Brody excused all the "safe" dudes from the hot tub, but then after the eliminated douche was sent packing, The Brodester looked at all the other supplicants, now back in their shirts and shorts, and with a warm smile and forthcoming wave, implored them to get back in. Just like that, the shirts were doffed and all the guys hopped eagerly back in the tub where a frenzied orgy of platonic (but not really) man-on-man action went down. Why isn't this show on Bravo?
To the photocap...
