Recently in Gossip Girl Category

Who killed Laura Palmer? That's one secret I'll never tell.
--XOXO, Gossip Cougar.

Holy umlaut! What happens if you take three of my favorite subjects — cougars, Twin Peaks, and Gossip Girl — and mix them together? You get Mädchen Amick, who according to EW.com, will be joining the buzzworthy CW teen soap this fall as a recurring character. Perhaps most famous for playing Shelly on Twin Peaks, Mäds (that's what I call her) will be playing "a sizzling cougar named Catherine Mason [who] will tempt young Nate (Chace Crawford) with a little May-December love." Sounds intriguing (and slightly season one of The O.C., but that's okay. I always liked the Luke-Julie storyline). I just hope the writers introduce some David Lynch-esque touches in honor of their new castmate. Heck, they've already got a creepy midget thanks to Hazel. Maybe one of Blair's sidekicks can start carrying around a log? Just thinking out loud.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I highly recommend catching up on both series.

With The Hills done for the season, I had nothing to write about on TV tonight — especially since my DirecTV DVR recorded nothing but BLACKNESS instead of the House season finale (shaking fist!). I hope to procure the episode electronically (no spoilers please), but in the meantime, there is one little show I know I can take some time to write about. What's it's name? I'll never tell.

Fine, I will. GOSSIP GIRL.

Yes, to celebrate the triumphant (yet bizarrely low-rated) first season, I decided to liveblog the season finale, which was a fun, if slightly disorganized, romp. Going into the episode, I wanted certain things to happen — you know, like Vanessa spontaneously evaporating into an odorless gas. What? She sucks. Besides, it's not unheard of for such sudden disappearances. Anyone remember Bex — intrepid seducer of the Brooklyn art world? I have a feeling she's still loitering around DUMBO, waiting for Rufus to call her again. As for Dan, I would have liked someone — anyone really (perhaps The Captain on a coke-fueled rant) — to just PUNCH him upside the head. He's getting too Ryan Atwoody with his righteous indignation over everything, and I'm having a hard time accepting him as our protagonist.

Did I get what I wanted? Eh, not really. But it was still a good hour. Live blog after the jump.

When all is said and done, tonight's episode of Gossip Girl will be remembered for one thing: sound effects. And a random Lisa Loeb cameo. But mostly the sound effects. Just watch the clip.

I just discovered I can make clips from The CW on RedLasso. In honor of this feat, I've decided to immortalize this little interaction, which was one of many on this week's show that made me say "Holy shit!" (which of course was followed by "I LOVE THIS SHOW.")

FOR SHAME, SERENA! FOR SHAME!

Who would have thought last night's Gossip Girl gay pride celebration could ever be upstaged, especially by anything stemming from the previously tiresome (now AMAZING) Michelle Trachtenberg storyline? BUT IT WAS. OH IT WAS. If you haven't seen the episode, you must watch it immediately. Not only did it have a killer cliffhanger, but there were about a dozen vicious zingers scattered throughout the show. Katie Holmes and Vanessa Hudgens became back-to-back butts of gay jokes, which were both bold, funny, and incredibly true to the characters saying them. Also earning bonus points: swishy Asher threatening to pop Jenny Humphrey's cherry to Dan. Finally: teenagers that sound like teenagers (even if they seem to be a bit precocious with their whisky swilling and whatnot). That's what makes Gossip Girl so fantastic: no kid gloves. The only downside to last night was that there could have been plenty more Eric-Asher-Jenny intrigue to be had (I'm talking a few episodes' worth), but sadly, it was all dissipated entirely too quickly. That's okay though. It was still an incredibly awesome hour.

I don't really have time regrettably to write a whole thing about last night's episode, but feel free to discuss it here. Here are some discussion points: is it me, or does Michelle Trachtenberg have distractingly pointy canine teeth? And is there anything worse than watching Nate kiss Vanessa?