Recently in Video Category

Today is the birthday of not just Geraldo Rivera and Koko the gorilla, but also something I like to call AMERICA. Happy July 4th, everyone! Hope you all have a fun and safe holiday. And if you're reading this from another country, well, I hope you have a lovely day as well, even if it isn't laden with any sort of special meaning (although, it should be — note the aforementioned birthdays of global citizens Geraldo and Koko).

Anyway, to honor the ol' Red, White & Blue, check out the video above, courtesy of D-Listed.

There are many things I'd expect Beyoncé to endorse. Hamburger Helper is not one of them. And so marks the most amusing Beyoncé commercial since her bizarre Directv spot.

I'm now looking forward to the inevitable Solange partnership with Past-a-Roni.

Gawker: The North Carolina Poop Monster Mystery
Pop Bytes: THIS MIGHT MAKE ME GO VEGETARIAN...
Eat Me Daily: Mark Bittman Is Possibly Trying to Kill You (or Give You Botulism)
Rod 2.0: Jackson's Will Leaves Diana Ross Guardian of Children if Mother Dies
ABC 7: Photos: Naked passenger disrupts flight
Esquire: The Day the Magic Died (interview with current BB contestant Lydia. Thanks, SorryIGotDrunk!)
Movieline: Nation's Tweens In Panic As Last-Resort Jonas Proposes
gas•tron•o•my: Ludo Bites - Los Angeles
LAist: 'Moral and professional dereliction' Cited in Recommendation to Discharge Openly Gay Lt. Dan Choi
AP: Gwyneth Paltrow says Spain changed her life
ESPN: Roddick edges Hewitt in four-hour battle

Via Jokers Updates

This just in! We finally have footage of the eviction ceremony from press day on Big Brother. Sadly, Rosanna's exit song to the evictee was edited out (rights, I'm sure), but let it be known that it was a beautiful moment (she sang "Fever"). Nevertheless, enjoy this last nugget from press day...

Before she was Danielle from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, she was Danielle from All My Children. Yes, it's Danielle Staub — rumored coke whore drug kingpin / confirmed dinner party ruiner. Here she is in a cameo appearance on the aforementioned soap opera All My Children in 2001, sharing the screen with none other than Josh Duhamel. Sadly, Danielle's moment in the limelight is brief, but it does afford us a neat view of her old face. We also get to see Josh Duhamel's old haircut (dumb), and as he spends the latter part of the clip rattling off the crimes of some notorious woman on the show, it's fun to imagine that he's actually talking about Danielle, that PROSTITUTION WHOO-AARRR!!!! Good times indeed.

Team USA may have lost the FIFA Confederation Cup game yesterday, but they'll always have midfielder Benny Feilhaber to lift their spirits...

LA Now: Photos: Michael Jackson two days before his death
Vulture: Oscar Producers Dis Old People and Musicians in Attempt to Stoke Show's Ratings
Movieline: Two Gay Guys Sitting Around Talking About Bruno
D-Listed: Billy Mays Probably Died From Heart Disease
Reality Blurred: SYTYCD working on all-Michael Jackson tribute with Paula Abdul choreographing a dance
New York Times: Madoff Is Sentenced to 150 Years for Ponzi Scheme
ET Online: Drea de Matteo Joins 'Desperate Housewives'
Katherine Spiers: Hills Produce Co-Op excitement
Socialite Life: Mariah Carey Blames Nick Cannon For Weight Gain

Ten days ago, an exciting thing happened: I was invited to spend the day in the Big Brother house along with eleven other members of the media. This was a minor dream come true: I got to taste the Big Brother experience without committing to a summer of national exposure (most of which I'm sure would be extremely embarrassing for me). While in the house, we played a week's worth of the game -- from Head of Household to Veto to eviction. Yes, we did it all, and it was, in short, awesome.

Nevertheless, I've been under a media embargo for the past week and a half -- but as of 6 AM this morning, the blackout has been lifted! The house guests are safely sequestered, which means I can now share not only my experiences but also the neat video that CBS edited together of us in the house. It's all sorts of fun (although, curiously, the eviction ceremony was not included on our DVD). Either way, the videos are highly entertaining, and if they don't get you psyched for the season, I don't know what will.

Also, be sure to check out my very thorough account of Media Day. It's up over at TV Week (and while you're there, be sure to check out a nifty profile of my college classmate Mindy Kaling). For those who don't need to read every single detail of the experience, I'm planning to write an abridged report that I'll have up on this site at some point. Plus, if you have any questions about the house or the experience, feel free to ask them in the forums on a thread conveniently titled "Big Brother House Q & A."

After the jump, parts I, II and III of the Big Brother media day video as well as some screen shots to help give you a sense of the house...

BAM! It's a Nene house tour!

Check it out! Bravo JUST released this clip moments ago. The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back for season two, and joining them is new cast member Kandi, formerly of the '90s not-so-supergroup Xscape. To be honest, I haven't even watched this video. I'm just gonna post it, and then take a looksie. Should be fun...

I am incredibly excited for tonight's first hour of the two-part Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion; although, I fear that after last week's monster episodes, it's gonna be something of a letdown. I mean, how can you top Teresa's legendary table flip? You can't. You absolutely can't. Still, it should be a fun hour (even though the preview clips indicate a distinct lack of screaming and cursing).

Above, Teresa attempts — and fails — to defend her husband Joe's gay remarks. After the jump, some discussion about THE BOOK and the mob.

Via Movieline

GLAAD: Statement from GLAAD on Perez Hilton’s Use of Anti-Gay Slur
Socialite Life: BREAKING: Jon Gosselin & Kate Gosselin Officially File For Divorce
LA Now: Chris Brown escapes time behind bars in Rihanna assault
IvyGate: Californians Just Don’t Get the Ivy League
Reality Blurred: Kathy Griffin, Housewives table-flipping bring Bravo record ratings, but The Fashion Show’s ratings are low
Sinosoul: A Food Riot at RH Andaz, West Hollywood
Fresh & Easy: Big Pizza at Fresh & Easy
Eater LA: Eater Complaints Dept.: Koi (holy shit)
Los Angeles Times: Bravo executive Andy Cohen is absolutely everywhere (thanks Rebecca!)
TV MoJoe: Fuller: Has He Had His Fill of 'Heroes'?
Ball Don't Lie: Video: Ohio eighth-grader hits ridiculous basketball shot

In case you missed it last night, here's the explosive (read: HILARIOUS) video of Teresa flipping a table at Danielle, née Montana Moorehead, née Milton Moorehead, during the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale. Watching her rev herself up into a frenzy is something to behold. Even people who don't watch the show should be entertained by this clip.

Also, check out my recap of the fight here.

This video is absolutely amazing. It features a handful of protesters who are still pissed about the Letterman/Palin flap — a flap that came to a close two days ago. Some people just can't move on. I guess that'll happen when you've been VERBALLY RAPED.

Via Daily Intel (Thanks jash)

Danny Noriega, late of American Idol, has released a music video that's pretty much as silly as you'd expect it to be. It's nowhere near is ridiculous as say the canon of Heidi Pratt (née Montag), but then again, that's not saying much. Here Danny teams up with a mysterious woman named Diamonique, who may or may not be Jenni from Flipping Out, and the two of them sing and rap through a surprisingly not terrible club tune. Personally, I think the beat and instrumentation are good, but the lyrics could use some tweaking (ie. throw them all out and start over — except for the anthemic line "Who's gonna buy my drinks? UH, YOU BITCH!"). Also, I'm not sure we need so many shots of Danny's hairy armpits, but that's just me.

What do you think about it?

Via D-Listed

If I were a sports reporter, I could see myself doing this (minus the ability to dunk a ball successfully in a kiddie basketball hoop).

Via Gawker

Sometimes I'm astonished by the sheer amount of junk I post about The Real Housewives, but hey, it brings the traffic in; so why stop? Well, great news. Those catty shrews forty miles south of me are back on Bravo tomorrow night. Yes, I'm talking about The Real Housewives of Orange County, who'll be making a return appearance to the airwaves in yet another "Lost Footage" special. I imagine Andy Cohen will host this one with his usual preening smile (memo to producers: remember to powder his face this time), which is too bad for America, but hey, I suppose it's a small price to pay for an extra sixty minutes with the ladies. What do we have to look forward to? I imagine more of the same — which can only be a good thing. Not convinced? Check out the above video which shows Tamra cursing out Gretchen over this mysterious Jay fellow (remember him? The alleged boy on the side Gretchen had?). I'm still befuddled as to why Tamra cares so much about this whole situation (oh that's right. She's blonde and jealous), and if you thought she looked bad on the last reunion special, wait 'til you see her in action here. Meanwhile, Andy does little to diffuse the situation beyond extending a few empathetic but empty comments here and there. It's hard to believe this guy is actually a network executive.

However, for as much as the two blondes go at it, the real scene stealer is Jeana, who sneaks in two classic Jeana comments right before the end of the clip. Her jaded misery continues to entertain immensely.

I'm still waiting for Bravo to put up photos from last night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey; so in the meantime, take a look at this preview teaser for next week's season finale, which looks to be so epic that pseudo-Dark Knight music is used to score the action. Anticipation building!!!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I guess NBC got a little bored with Chris Hansen always busting pervs; so they sent him to Vegas to see what lowlifes he could tape with a hidden camera in a new report titled Vegas Undercover. In the clip above, Chris joins the "Pimp Investigative Team" (or PIT, as I like to call it) and watches as one lady cop gets recruited by one of Sin City's sinful denizens. Yes, a wannabe pimp tries to get this undercover trollop to join his enterprise, but of course his efforts are doomed (mostly because he attempts to do this just FEET from Chris Hansen). It ends the way you imagine it does: a low point for the pimp, a high point for journalism.

I may be thirty, but videos like these still crack me up. Thanks to jash for sending it along.

Be warned — the sound that emanates forth most certainly is NSFW. (That means NOT SAFE FOR WORK, idiots)

New York Times: U.S. Protests North Korea’s Punishment of 2 Journalists
Katherine Spiers: Taco Zone Update
Cartoon Penis: The Most Important Post About the "Ryan Howie"
TV Casualties: A Storm of Stars: Casting HBO’s “Game of Thrones”
Vulture: Exclusive: VH1 Shelves Best Week Ever, Possibly Permanently (could see that one coming a mile away)
LAist: Running Bored: Could the LA Marathon Improve the View?
Vulture: I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here Turns Into a Nightmare for NBC
I Watch Stuff: Who Needs 'Up' When We've Got This Similarly-Themed, Like-Titled Movie?
Gizmodo: iPhone 3GS vs iPhone 3G Feature Chart Comparison
Gawker: Nobody At Fox Business Has Any Idea What's Happening, At All (hilarious)

<a href="http://videoguide.msn.com/play/tv/?g=336950a8-65be-4dea-89fe-7caa0391dedb" target="_new" title="'Wipeout' Exclusive: MSN TV Wipes Out">Video: 'Wipeout' Exclusive: MSN TV Wipes Out</a>

Two things I love: Jen Johnson from Big Brother 8 and slapstick. Put them together, and you've got a nifty little clip, courtesy of MSN TV. In the video above, Jen runs the Wipeout obstacle course, and as you can imagine, muddy splashes ensue. I'm not a big fan of Wipeout in general as I find the commentary is so awful that it ruins pretty much ANY entertainment value, but here we just get the pure, unadulterated pratfalls, and it's entirely more palatable. Enjoy.

Via Jokers Updates

With E3 wrapping up later this afternoon, I thought we could take a look back at the glory days of the Wii, when the sheer novelty spawned countless YouTube videos of people punching at air and breaking their TVs. Here's one that's been unearthed by m_ruv. It's of yours truly flailing about in the most uncoordinated of ways in some sort of attempt to win a Wii Sports boxing title. I'm not sure if I ultimately emerged victoriously, but if the contest were looking like an idiot, then I surely nabbed a gold medal.

Food2: Coldstone Breakthrough: Ice Cream That Transforms Into Pudding (gasp!)
LA Times: Mapping LA
Gawker: 'Coke Whore' Danielle Staub Was Also a 'Paid Escort,' According to Her Ex
Chicago Tribune: In Evanston, one man's trash is one town's revenue (thanks JUDY)
Eater LA: New Bars on the Block: Madame Royale, Guys & Dolls
New York Times: Escapism in Minutiae of Daily Life

Tomorrow night, The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs once again, and with all the rumors circulating about Danielle Staub and her shady past, things are getting mighty interesting. In the clip above, Danielle gets snippy with her gal pals Jacqueline and Teresa (the latter of whom never found a headband she couldn't strangle her follicles with). There's all sorts of squawking and dramatic accusations, most of which bring out the best in Danielle's stereotypical Jersey accent.

After the jump, Danielle flashes us her crotch as she joins the other housewives in a ballroom dancing class. Hands are placed in inappropriate places, mothers level angry glares, and the whole thing promises to balloon spectacularly out of control...

Via D-Listed

New York Times: AT&T May Have Swayed ‘Idol’ Results (thanks Jash)
Socialite Life: 'Spring Breakdown' Stars Funny Couple Amy Poehler & Will Arnett (I'd rent this)
Reality Blurred: Jon and Kate watched by nearly 10 million, a record audience for a cable reality show
CNN: States unleash goats to keep grass trimmed (thanks JUDY)
NJ.com 'Real Housewives of New Jersey': Danielle Staub's alleged mugshot (more deets)
LA Now: Inflatable muscle man stolen from roof of Hollywood shop
Chart Watch: Week Ending May 24, 2009: The Kris/Adam Duel Moves To The Charts

Chris Brown, perhaps the inspiration for "Boom Boom Pow," has resurfaced with two very important messages — in YouTube form, natch. Above, the singer clarifies any confusion about his reputation, noting that he is not, in fact, a monster. This is independently verified by Bow Wow, who has long stood as the preeminent character witness of the hip-hop, nay, artistic community.

After the jump, Chris's second video, which, I tell you, certainly puts ME to shame.

Via D-Listed

Tonight's a brand spanking new edition of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and hopefully, some sparks might start flying with these ladies. In the meantime, here's a clip of resident battle ax Caroline forcing her daughter to learn the finer art of pubic waxing. After the jump, two bonus clips that I honestly haven't seen (they weren't working on the Bravo website, but hopefully they'll embed fine here). I don't really know what they're about, but I'm sure they're horrifying and embarrassing for all parties involved....

This parody of the Real Housewives of New York City reunion is kind of what one might call brilliant. It hits pretty much all the right notes; although, Jill comes off with a bit more of a potty mouth than I always imagined her to have. Doesn't matter. It's still funny.

Via Entertainment Weekly (thanks to The Pseuds)

Best Week Ever: If Ever We Were Hoping That Two Celebrities Were Involved in a Passionate Love Affair…
Sinosoul: An explanation of why negative reviews need to exist.
Reality Blurred: Lou Diamond Phillips, Patti Blagojevich join I’m a Celebrity cast
Movieline: Chace Crawford Sings the Kenny Loggins Songbook
Fresh & Easy: What's New (1,000 new products coming! Hopefully GREEN ONIONS and SHALLOTS will be included)
LA Times: Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend attacked during 'American Idol'
Bitten: Mexican Chocolate Tofu Pudding
Dutch Girl Cooking: Sweet Potato Pepper Soup
Daily Dish: Recipe: Soupe à l'oignon gratinée
Gawker: A CNBCer's On-Air Meltdown
New York Times: A Chili Sauce to Crow About (thanks Jash)

"Dow Jones" starring Common from Common

Woops. Forgot to post this stuff last night...

D-Listed: The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.....
New York Times: ‘Idol’ Final Raises Extra Question (thanks Sly)
Movieline: NBC to Delay 30 Rock in the Fall
LA Now: Hot Dollar: 'I am not dead'
Eater LA: Banned: Lacking Permits, Kogi Kicked Out of The OC

Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds: Behind the Scenes of The Proposal from Betty White

Republican American: One man's quest to prove there's plenty to do
New York Times: Springtime for ‘The Producers’ in Germany (thanks jash)
Movieline: Buzz Break: New York's Finest
Eater LA: Playa del Rey Halts Its Happy Ending, Bar Bows Out
Best Week Ever: Mo’Nique Will Scare the Sh*t Out Of You in Precious
TV MoJoe: The 'Who' is Dead; Long Live Samantha?
Towleroad: Rumor: Adam Lambert and Boyfriend Enjoy Bloomin' Onion Together? (thanks again, jash)
D-Listed: Open Post: Hosted By Brenda Dickson
Reality Blurred: Ethan Zohn has cancer: stage two Hodgkin’s lymphoma
LAist: Top 10 Songs That Should’ve Been Banned at Prom
Los Angeles Times: Rapper Dolla is shot, killed at Beverly Center (jash again)
IvyGate: Harvard Shooting Coincides with Late Night Security Cuts

Slashfood: Frank Bruni Leaves New York Times Dining Critic Post, Upending Food Bloggers' Lives
LAist: Recession Obsession: Big Friggin’ Dumplings in Koreatown
Half-Black Charisma: Duke Basketball Player to Play Syracuse Football. In Other News, My World Implodes
Socialite Life: Kristin Cavallari To Come To 'The Hills'
Reality Blurred: Jaime refuses to answer questions about her behavior; Margie and Luke “regret” fight with Kisha and Jen

It doesn't matter how many times it happens, watching Kelly and Bethenny fight on The Real Housewives of New York City is always fantastic. I think it has something to do with the fact that they completely do not communicate (and that Kelly's arguments are always so bizarre that they take on a certain surrealist quality that is most appealing to my oft-dormant artistic outlook). Anyway, in this preview clip from tomorrow night's reunion special, the women go at it again, and this time, we get the added bonus of watching the other ladies (and even Andy Cohen — who fails magnificently) pipe up and lend their opinions to the situation. Needless to say, there's little resolution.

Oh, and don't think this is the only goodie I have in store for you. After the jump, a hostile clip of all the women ganging up on Countess LuAnn. It's memorable for a lot of things, but mostly a frustrated Andy Cohen raising his eyebrows and full-on whining the words, "Can I speak? Can I speak?" Next time, Andy, just bring a whistle and be done with it.

SNL's Casey Wilson Reads Internet Comments from Casey Wilson

Here's an amusing video from Saturday Night Live's Casey Wilson. It involves the Internet, emotions, and ambling down Western Avenue in Los Angeles. Plus, as an added bonus, she's wearing the same outfit she wore on the plane when I stalked her from across the aisle! Good times.

If there's anything that could outshine my excitement for tonight's Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere, it's part one of Bravo's two-night Real Housewives of New York City reunion extravaganza. If these preview clips are any indication, the shows should be out of control. I don't even have to discuss the videos. Just watch and enjoy. And please remember: Kelly does NOT need a tissue.

Two more reunion clips after the jump AS WELL AS three preview clips from NJ!!

I've never seen a cat look so betrayed.

New York Daily News: Event designer who quit during Donald Trump's 'Celebrity Apprentice' says Joan Rivers is a 'monster'
D-Listed: Bat Out Of Hell!
TV MoJoe: Andy Richter: Heeeeere's Conan!
gas•tron•o•my: Aladin Sweets & Market - Los Angeles
New York Times: Lives of Student and Her Stalker Collide on Wesleyan Campus (awful/horrifying)
Gawker: Perez Hilton Wins Ruling That Says His Blog Is Illegal (massive UGH)
D-Listed: Jon Can't Do Anything Right (I think I have to start watching this dumb show)
Best Week Ever: Gretchen and Slade Spice Up Relationship The Only Way They Know How… In Front of a Camera
Reality Blurred: Paula Abdul denies admitting painkiller addiction, says she just went to a spa (oh NEVER MIND then)
Socialite Life: 'Gossip Girl' Spinoff Is Dead In The Water
D-LIsted: Only Flat Stanley Belongs (celebs at the White House Correspondents Dinner)

So Danny Gokey went back to Milwaukee this weekend, and a funny thing happened at his hometown concert: his lyrics blew away in the wind. Yes, just as he was starting up a rendition of the classic Michael Jackson tune "Billie Jean," his crib sheet flittered off in the wind, perhaps the result of not-so-divine intervention for the church group singer. As a result, Gokey spent most of the song shouting out guttural harmonies with the backup singers — or simply doing nothing at all. It was totally embarrassing — not because everyone knows the "Billie Jean" lyrics but because as a singer, he should have memorized them. Maybe this was perhaps a sign from God. A heavenly message to us all: like lyrics in the wind, Gokey must go.

Video of the debacle above...

(Via Towleroad, courtesy of jash)

You know what's great? When parents SCARE THE HELL out of their children. Always commendable activity (sarcasm). Nevertheless, check out this bizarre yet humorous clip from some Japanese TV show where two parents — as well as many, many neighbors — convince two super cute little kids that they're ABOUT TO DIE (from a zombie attack, natch).

Thanks to sisojash for the link.

Via D-Listed

This commercial for Schwepps makes little sense, but it's certainly VERY evocative. Nicole Kidman's streak of artsy commercials remains intact!

New York Times: Face Transplant Patient Is Revealed (thanks Sly)
Variety: Mindy Kaling cues NBC deal (go Big Green)
LAist: 14 Birds Found Tied to Legs of Smuggler at LAX
Us Magazine: Jon & Kate Dad's Three-Month Affair Confirmed
Best Week Ever: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The Metropolitan Museum’s 2009 Costume Institute Gala
LA Now: Man killed, woman wounded in West Hollywood shooting
Black Voices: Oprah's Free Chicken Offer Sparks Sit-Ins, Long Lines (thanks Jash)
LAist: What's In Kentucky Grilled Chicken? (hint: it rhymes with mansfats!)
FAIL Blog: Creek Jump Fail

So it was rock week on American Idol last night, and I for one was excited. After having suffered through the dreary doldrums of the Rat Pack genre (not to mention Jamie Foxx's curious ramblings), I was ready for some energetic, ballad-free music. And guess what? Overall, that's pretty much what we got. Last night's show was chock full of excitement and pressing cliffhangers: would the American Idol song fall from the rafters and squash Ryan Seacrest? Would Adam Lambert's skin-tight pants burst open after one too many hip gyrations? And would the glass in Danny Gokey's spectacles crumble into millions of pieces — perhaps even revert back into sand — after his dreadful and embarrassing caterwaul? These questions and more flittered through our heads as we witnessed one of the strongest final fours in quite some time. By the end of the episode, we really only had one major thing on our mind: who's gonna go home?

Because it's such a fun pun, I thought I'd celebrate Plinko De Mayo today and post this fun, record-breaking clip from the minigame we all know and love.

My friend Lindsay gabs it up on technical-difficulty-prone CNBC!

New York Times: Craft House (thanks SLY)
Tony Awards: 2009 Nominee List UGH. Constantine Maroulis got a nom. The Tonys = officially worthless (thanks Testiculon)
Kung Food Panda: Urasawa: Simply, was it "worth it?" (Beverly Hills)
AP: `Scrubs' finale is for season, or maybe forever
Reuters: Jimmy Fallon takes top Webby award (my nomination must have gotten lost in the mail)
Food2: 2 Cinco de Mayo Desserts
Boston Globe: Philadelphia-area man charged in beer pong killing (thanks IndianJones)
Best Week Ever: Ice Skating + “Poker Face” = The Gayest Thing You Will Ever See
LA Now: Victoria Principal accused of pulling gun on maid at Malibu home
Socialite Life: Paula Abdul Admits To Painkiller Addiction
Deadline Hollywood: Fox Cancels Spike Feresten Talk Show
Midseason Replacements: MSR’s Brush With the PhilPackage!

I found this video of a local Thai woman making Pad Thai to be oddly transfixing and somewhat informative too. Of course, it's also a bit unsettling as various health codes fall by the wayside, but hey, when in Bangkok...

Thanks to Tony at Sinosoul for the link.

I didn't get around to recapping this week's American Idol results show (spoiler alert: Matt G. went home; also, Jamie Foxx continued to be insufferable), but as an apology, I offer you this neat Where Are They Now? segment, courtesy of the TV Guide Channel. A pleasant diversion from the fray, but the real reason to watch this is to see that AWFUL Josiah Lemmings (the crying kid who lived in his car VOLUNTARILY and never made it past the Hollywood rounds). Not only has his fake British accent grown more pronounced, but he's now adopted hipster body tics that really help drive his AWFULNESS home. Well done!

Via Reality Chat, which you can follow on Twitter. Oh, and be sure to follow ME on Twitter too!

The Whatever Hollywood girls engage in Box Tackling, which is significantly less scandalous than it sounds. Still, it's pretty amusing...

Socialite Life: 'Top Gun' Star Kelly McGillis Officially Comes Out
Best Week Ever: THINGS THAT EXIST: Whole Chicken In A Can Is Even Worse Than You Think (GAG)
Gawker: The Flu Is Coming From Inside the White House!
Franklin Avenue: First Look: CB2 Comes to Los Angeles
New York Times: Last Night’s ‘Lost’: How’s It Going to End?
Reality Blurred: Jon admits “poor judgment” about going to a bar with a woman while Kate’s on her book tour

Watch Young Kara DioGuardi Sings at Family Gathering in Family  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Check it out: before Kara DioGuardi was a buxom, successful songwriter, mathematician, and judge on American Idol, she was an awkward tween with goofy braces and a penchant for Sinatra. Don't believe me? Watch the clip above to see her singing in some old home movie from 1982...

New York Times: Verizon Said to Be in Talks for the iPhone (thanks m_ruv)
TV MoJoe: Yes, But Will Melissa Rivers Avenge Her Loss?
LA Now: Former 'Prison Break' actor Lane Garrison is out of prison after Beverly Hills accident
LAist: Rodney King: 17 Years After The Riots
Movieline: Wall Street 2 to Introduce Gordon Gekko to the Wonders of the iPhone
Socialite Life: Hugh Jackman & Halle Berry At 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine' Screening
The Dartmouth: Blitz to be replaced by end of 2010 (thanks JUDY — and happy birthday)

I simply don't know what to make of this trailer for Julie & Julia, a film that can best be described as The Hours meets French Cuisine. On the one hand, I'm curious to see if Meryl Streep can go through a whole movie in a Julia Child accent without it being HILARIOUS every time she opens her mouth. On the other hand... well... maybe there is no other hand. Sign me up!

Via Movieline

Note: I didn't realize that Movieline had made essentially the same joke as me about The Hours. However, I still back the observation; so I'm keeping it up.

E! Online: Kristin Cavallari, Drama Returns to The Hills This Fall (Yes! Yes! Yes!)
Reality Blurred: Benjamin “Coach” Wade’s lies: kayak record, other claims disputed
Zap2it: Sneak Peek: The 'Gossip Girl' spinoff starring Brittany Snow (thanks Tariq)
Daily Dish: What wines do oysters like best?
ESPN: Arizona Cardinals release RB Edgerrin James
Socialite Life: Jesus Luz Not Beloved On The Catwalk
Best Week Ever: Oh Sheeppig, You So Crazy.

Cursing for cursing sake isn't inherently funny. But cursing because you want to beat your son's head in with a hammer, well, that's surprisingly funny. You wouldn't think it would be funny as filicide is no laughing matter, but as the clip above demonstrates, it can be actually be quite chuckle-worthy. Enjoy as one enraged mother calls 911 and unleashes her fury on an unsuspecting operator. Oh, and if you're at work, be sure to keep the volume down. There are plenty of f-bombs to go around.

Thanks to IndianJones for forwarding...

It's a bit overcast and gloomy here in Los Angeles today, but I'm feeling quite sunny as I know tomorrow brings a second battle between Kelly Bensimon and Bethenny Frankel on The Real Housewives of New York City. In the above clip, we get a brief preview of their fight, and needless to say, it's very tense. The two get along about as well as Kelly Bensimon's breasts. I'll hold off until tomorrow to truly analyze the fight, but from what we can see, it looks like Bethenny at least starts off in a calm, mature place. Kelly... not so much.

After the jump, two more bonus clips from Tuesday's upcoming show...

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

ESPN: Chiefs trade Gonzalez for 2010 draft pick (crazy!)
Best Week Ever: The Top 10 Sitcom Cameos Made By Other Sitcom Characters
Eater LA: The Kogi Effect: Korean Tacos Popping Up Everywhere
Socialite Life: Us Weekly Celebrates Hot Hollywood Style
Movieline: Susan Boyle Overload Immortalized in South Park
LA Times: Jay Leno hospitalized

Food2, an offshoot of the Food Network, just launched a new web series called Kelsey & Spike Cook in which Food Network Star contestant Kelsey Nixon goes toe to toe with the beloved Spike Mendelsohn of Top Chef fame. It's nice to see Kelsey again, but seriously, we really only care about Spike. He's the only reality star who can wear a stupid fedora and not incur my wrath. Why? Because he's awesome. And he totally overpowers Kelsey in this first video. She does her best to keep up, but he simply has more charisma (not to mention a more appealing culinary point of view) than she. I will say that Spike seems a bit stiff at the top of the video, but he eventually gets into the flow, and either way, they're both likable, albeit oddly paired; so take a look if you're bored.

Update: Apparently the video above was broken; so I took it down. Go to Food2 and check out all the action.

Courtesy of EdHill

The Dartmouth: Alleged adult film reps. solicit female on Green
Reality Blurred: Spencer responsible for Lauren sex tape rumor; Lauren may attend Heidi and Spencer’s wedding
Daily Dish: L.A.'s BritWeek kicks off (God Save The Queen!)
Socialite Life: Miss California Carrie Prejean Dating Michael Phelps
OC Weekly: GETTING RIPPED OFF BY BLAND FOOD AT GEISHA HOUSE
AP: Severe Turbulence Paralyzes Woman In Airplane Restroom
Whitney Port: Whitney Port in Little League (courtesy of Whitney Port, and NOT Jash; although, he tried)

On tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, things got tense when the assembled fraus arrived at Kelly Bensimon's Halloween party, only to discover that their notorious hostess was nowhere to be found. That's right, Kelly — who proudly served as the letter "A" in her Halloween invites (not to mention the word "asshole") — didn't arrive at her own party until at least ninety minutes after it had started, perhaps up to two hours. So where was she? I'd like to think she was putting young Sea to sleep or perhaps caught in traffic or even overseeing an emergency meeting in the owl community, but no, Kelly was preoccupied with none of the above. Instead, she was just taking her sweet ass time with Plum TV, an online outpost that covers all things WASPy and delightful such as Marth's Vineyard, Vail, and The Hamptons (but not plums, oddly enough). I don't know why the good people at Plum TV took an interest in watching Kelly slip herself into a frilly Playboy bunny costume, but they did, and as a result, we get a neat, ninety-second glimpse into what the hell took Kelly so damn long to get to her party. I think we're supposed to be entertained or entranced or fascinated by Kelly's hair and makeup process, but instead, it's just infuriating knowing there are people who are simultaneously waiting for her in a cramped, low-ceilinged social space being forced to pay for drinks (despite the presence of alcohol sponsors). WEAK.

Tonight is another episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, and un case you haven't been paying attention, Kelly Bensimon — she of the breasts that resemble Newton's Cradle in action — is kind of the worst ever. In this preview clip for tonight's show, we see Kelly as she poses for a photographer, ultimately creating the letter "A" with her body. No, Kelly hasn't been recruited for some sort of bitchy version of Sesame Street. It was an artistic choice by her to be the letter "A" in a Halloween invitation she'd be sending out. Amusingly, she informs us (quite proudly) that she's not just an "A," but a smiling "A," which apparently makes her one of the more provocative yet fun letters of the alphabet. Thank goodness for that. Just remember: A is up here, and Z is soooo down there.

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Trust me, this is very funny — mostly because of Jane Lynch at the end.

Sly balks at Jash's attempt to rename her 'Sylvs.'

Thanks to copygodd at Midseason Replacements, I've discovered the wonderful world of Text To Movie at xtranormal, a site that generates little animated videos based on dialogue you type in. Needless to say, it's been quite a revelation. I've already animated two email conversations between Jash and Sly, and the results have been quite wonderful. See for yourself (one more vid after the jump...)

And yes, Jash really does sound like that in person.

Creepy Diff'rent Strokes! Via Best Week Ever

My Memoirs: Toby Young In On Next Season of Top Chef
AP: NBC broadcaster John Madden retires
Fox Carolina: Man Urinates On Woman Mid Flight (courtesy of Stepho)
Vulture: Dave Matthews Band Muscles Up
Socialite Life: Josh Hartnett Just Drank Some Stank Water
D-Listed: The Mug Shots Of Domino's Greatest Employees
Movieline: Rupert Reloaded (gross)
LAist: Obama Introduces High Speed Rail Plan (yay!)
Variety: 'Amazing Race' back for 15th cycle
OK Magazine: Exclusive: Dog the Bounty Hunter Says, "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!" (getting very, very excited to see this)
Socialite Life: Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt: Stupid Or High?
Food2: Piqued Passion for Passover Pizza
Daily Dish: Grilled Cheese Month: Bottoms up!
ESPN: Schedule presents conflict for Jewish New York Jets fans

Via D-Listed

Okay, at this point everyone and their mother has seen frumpy Susan Boyle singing on Britain's Got Talent (and yes, that means people can STOP forwarding it to me). Today, however, we have new Susan Boyle fun: an interview with her on The Early Show (sorry, Chenbot was not involved). Take a look at this week's internet sensation and enjoy some charmingly awkward Scottish moments. You'll be chuffed to bits!

Update: After the jump, a much funnier interview with Susan, this time with Diane Sawyer whose wonderful haughtiness is the perfect match for Susan's homeliness. Best part: the greeting card at the end.

Skip to the 5:00 mark...

National Weather Service: Snow Rollers!!!! (courtesy Jash)
LA Now: Guard fatally shoots man at O.C. amusement park
Best Week Ever: And Now, The Gayest Opening Title Sequence in History
Food Network Addict: Food Network Addict's Comments on Mark Bittman's "TV Cooking vs. Real Cooking" Piece in the New York Times (noteworthy only because of how pissy this writer gets)
Go Fug Yourself: Fug the Cover: Blake Lively (courtesy of Sly)
LAist: Man Dies in Hit & Run While Getting Mail, Suspect Arraigned for Text Message Driving Death (seriously, wtf with all the hit & runs these days??)
Movieline: Zac Efron Toe-Points Toward an SNL/iTunes Rip-Off

How fortunate! Today is Tuesday, which means more zaniness with the Real Housewives of New York City tonight! Looks like there should be plenty of fun all around as Bethenny and Ramona lock horns, first about branding and then about Bethenny's social status. As you'll see in the clip above, Ramona apparently has been spelling her "True" brand different ways on different products. One item is called True Faith while the other is Tru Renewal. Or vice versa. Not the brightest of ideas. Bethenny notes this, and then eventually the passive-aggressive ball of yarn that is their friendship unravels.

After the jump, a bonus clip of Silex being silly (and you know it's Silex because the video starts with strumming, patronizing violins)...

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Remember Mean Girls? Remember those Saturday Night Live appearances? Remember when Lindsay Lohan seemed rife with potential? We've pretty much forgotten about those days, but this self-mocking viral vid starring Lohan herself restores an ounce of faith that it's not over for our favorite redhead troublemaker of Hollywood. Watch as Lohan — whose face looks slightly different in a way I can't really pinpoint — skewers her image in a fake eHarmony video. It's pretty funny.

Taken to hospital!

Socialite Life: Nude Padma Lakshmi, Eliza Dushku & Chelsea Handler In 'Allure' (flesh for the guys)
Socialite Life: Happy Easter From Shirtless Jesus Luz! (and flesh for the girls... and the other guys)
LA Now: Porn star Marilyn Chambers found dead in L.A. County home
D-Listed: Mel Gibson's Wife Finally Quits The Crazy
Food2: Matzo Heath Bar Passover Hack
AMC: Listen up - The Original Music From Mad Men
ESPN: Kalas, longtime Phillies voice, dies at 73
Movieline: Obama's Entourage Habit Suggests Now Might Be a Good Time to Panic
Bitten: The Heart of the Matter
Eat Your Feelings: Crock Pot Meatloaf
Pop Hangover: 25 Ugly Food Tattoos
AP: Woman commits suicide, lands on teen at NYC mall (thanks IndianJones)

Well, this is awkward. I've never seen someone so seemingly chipper about their impending fainting spell.

Via D-Listed

For those of you who enjoyed that Honda commercial from a few years back, here's something else from the Rube Goldberg files to blow your mind. It's a submission to Cadbury's "Unleash the Goo" competition "in which entrants must find the most creative way to break a creme egg."

Some factoids about the video after the jump...

Enjoy this stunning Japanese technique for splitting matzoh. Kind of makes me pine for the days of I Survived A Japanese Game Show. Then again, there's always room for a spin-off: I Survived A Japanese Passover. Man, I KILL me!

On Monday, I announced that it would be "Gloria Week" on my blog, but since I've temporarily halted my daily Whatnots this week (on account of travel etc), I haven't been able to fulfill this wonderful promise I've made to you. Fear not though. I've compiled several "Gloria" clips to more than make up for their absence on Tuesday and Wednesday. In the video above, some crazy Puerto Rican dancing sensation from the '80s named Iris Chacon goes absolutely nuts singing the song. It's pretty amusing for the first two and a half minutes, and then at the 2:44 mark, she drops to the ground and goes ballistic. It's almost a self parody.

More bizarre clips after the jump...

Last week, I posted a clip of NYC stripper Sandy Kane singing "Gloria." This led me to YouTube to watch the original "Gloria" video, which I couldn't find, but instead I stumbled upon a small treasure trove of retro "Gloria" clips, often in other languages. This could only mean one thing: "Gloria" week! Little known fact: the Laura Branigan song is actually a cover of an Italian tune by Italian super stud Umberto Tozzi, who looks like a cross between Paul McCartney and Anton Chigurh. Here he is singing his original hit. Another clip of him after the jump.

Socialite Life: Alex Da Silva - So You Think You Can Rape?
New York Magazine: Do You Own Facebook? Or Does Facebook Own You?
A List of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago: Potential Songs For This Week's 'Idol' (good read, and I agree on "No One Is To Blame" for Matt Giraud)
Joystiq: Mad Men the video game is trademarked
Yahoo! Autos: 10 Cars That Sank Detroit
ESPN: Winslow signs largest TE deal in history
L.A. Now: Dead whale calf washes up on Sunset Beach
ESPN: Plaxico Burress curses out officer during traffic stop in Florida, report says
TMZ: Hugh Heffner falls asleep at his own party.
LAist: Two Great Cheap Eats in Monterey Park

My friend Lisa not only tipped me off to one of the best YouTube videos ever, but she also alerted me to this gem from Alexyss K Tylor, who shot to internet notoriety with her famously viral vid "Penis Power." In my humble opinion, the clip above — titled "Warning To Gay Boys" — is funnier than "Penis Power," if only because the mumbo jumbo is truly off the charts. Did you know that everyone has a dick up their ass? It's true. Needless to say, the language is most assuredly NSFW.

New York Times: Iowa Court Voids Gay Marriage Ban
Socialite Life: When Divas Attack: Sharon Stone Mauls Mariah Carey
IvyGate: Losing Teeth at the Hockey Frat: Dartmouth’s Police Blotter is Back (a MUST read)
Gawker: Kelly Bensimon's Life Continues to Unravel
ESPN: Giants cut Burress amid gun case
Huffington Post: Anti-Chris Brown Song Hits Radios
Franklin Avenue: Rick Dees Loses Radio Home: "Movin 93.9" To Go Spanish (haha — I hate Rick Dees)
Best Week Ever: Slumdog Game Show Host To Star On 24, Practice Terrorist Accent
Untitled Ron Motta Project: WELCOME TO THE MACHINE
Reality Blurred: Heidi Montag on Lauren Conrad: “We don’t need her” on The Hills
Food2: Peeps Watch 2009 — DIY Peeps
D-Listed: The Real Lady CaCa Emerges
LA Times: Starved for normality
Bitten: Recipe of the Day: Pork Chops With Miso Sauce
Daily Dish: Picnic picks for the Hollywood Bowl

An excitable IndianJones forwarded me this video today, which is a British spot for, well, you'll see. Needless to say, I think we can all agree that IndianJones loves a salacious pun.

Yesterday, my friend Lisa posted a story about Sandy Kane, an ancient stripper from Newark whose unique style of titillation is delivering borsht belt comedy wearing nothing but some pasties and a thong. Needless to say, Lisa was quite enamored. Well, I finally got around to watching a video of Sandy, and wow-my-gosh, it did not disappoint. If ever there was a personification of the phrase, "Hey, toots," it would be this woman. I'm not sure if this clip will be for everyone — and the language and old saggy boobs could very well make it NSFW — but oh man, I was simply dying when I watched it.

Fuckin' Gloria...

It's a new Heidi Montag song! Yay!!!

ESPN: Cutler going to Bears
LAist: LAPD Chief Bratton Wants Marijuana Sold in Regular Pharmacies
AP: Michelle Obama charms queen away from protocol
EW: 'The View': Fred Armisen-as-Joy Behar meets real Joy Behar tomorrow (so what? who cares? Thanks Jash)
Advertising Age: TV Guide Channel to Ditch the Scroll
New York Times: At the Courthouse, a Celebrity or Three
Valleywag: Resign, Mark Zuckerberg, Resign
Sundance: Green Porno is back!!!
Lisa Timmons: Time for Some Sandy Kane
LAist: Even the Girl Scouts Warned Caltrans About the Dangers
LA Weekly: BACK ON THE STREET: SUSAN FENIGER'S WORLD CUISINE
Daily Dish: Jaw-dropping photos of underwater restaurant in the Maldives (I want to go to there!)

And here it is.

A few months old, but who cares? This is dedicated to IndianJones, who I know will enjoy this just as much as I did.

(Plus, I could totally see him doing this as a kid)

Bonus clip after the jump...

What better way to kick off the weekend than with ten minutes of nothing but pure, undiluted Zarin? That's right, the local Fox affiliate here in Los Angeles interviewed Jill and Ally Zarin of The Real Housewives of New York City, and it's as Zarin-tastic as you could imagine. There's plenty of name-dropping and sentimental discussion of Bawwwbby, as well as a neat plug of Jill's site, jillzarin.com, which I mention only because Jill (or her team) has begun linking to this here very blog! That means there's a chance that Jill could be reading; so everyone say hi! Now go buy some faaaabric!

Well, "Suddenly Seymour" week has come to an end. Yesterday's clip of an adolescent girl singing it was sublimely awful, but now it's mysteriously been taken offline. Not cool. What else to do but to post another dubious performance, courtesy of Mandy Moore. Now, I've met Mandy before, and she's a delight, but this was not her finest moment...

Lisa Timmons: Hollywood and My Seven Year Itch
AP: Rapper T.I. sentenced to year on weapons charges (T.I. Quest FAIL!)
TV Week: Adalian Column: ‘ER’ Helped Remake the TV Landscape
Gawker: ShamWow Guy Beats Up Cannibal Hooker
Kotaku: The Amazing Race To Become The Average Game (great idea, too bad it's a lame publisher)
Shutdown Corner: The NFL continues the re-writing of the rule book
Page Six: Taking It Hard (Team Adam)
Gawker: 'Freedom' Just Another Word For '8-Year Boondoggle'
Socialite Life: Rihanna Has Female Security Guard, Hangs With Brody Jenner
Food2: Have a $12,000 Doughnut Idea?
LAist: How to Find Out Why an LAPD Helicopter is Circling Above Your Home (I'm so gonna use this)

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

This clip from Tuesday's upcoming Real Housewives of New York City episode is what you'd call the epitome of a cocktease, but that being said, there's still juuuust enough awkward tension in its few seconds of confrontation between Bethenny and Kelly to be worth checking out. Gotta love Bethenny's instant dig at Kelly, and Kelly's über cold response.

Oh, it's gonnnnnnnna be a good one!!!

And did I mention that this is only one of two angry confrontations on the show? A second, juicier preview of Jill Zaaarin and Mario Singer yelling at each other after the jump...

I'm breaking the "Suddenly Seymour" pattern slightly today with this version that wasn't lip-synched but in fact sung. It takes a while to get going, but I guarantee you that by the final, unforgettable note, you'll be giving a standing o. (Song starts in earnest at the 1:34 mark)

Eater LA: The Shutter: Meltdown Down; Grilled Cheese Trend Suffers (Nooo!!! I never got to try it!!)
Socialite Life: Kathy Griffin And Paris Hilton, New BFF's
Socialite Life: Couple Alert: Natalie Portman & Sean Penn?
Vulture: Blender Folds
Wall Street Journal: EU Crt Rejects AB InBev Effort To Register 'Budweiser'
LAist: Obama: Marijuana is Not a Good Economic Route for Recovery
AP: NH House approves gay marriage, sends bill to Sen.
Best Week Ever: 50 Animals Who Hate Baths

"They originally wanted my dear friend Gail Simmons for this commercial, but she ate seven Thickburgers in three minutes and had to be medivac-ed to the nearest free clinic, bless her heart."

Hey, remember when Paris Hilton did that Carl's Jr. commercial, and everyone got in a tizzy about how racy and sexy it was? Well, it's nothing compared to the latest spot from Carl's Jr./Hardy's, which uses Padma Lakshmi as its latest sex object to devour a big, juicy burger. Needless to say, it's a definite upgrade.

Link courtesy of IndianJones

The good people at Bravo sent me this clip of Bethenny doing her favorite Jill Zarin impersonation. It goes on too long, but it certainly has its funny moments. I particularly like when Bethenny calls out "AAAAALLLLIEE!!!!" I think that will never get old.

Although, I think it goes without saying that Kelly Killoren Bensimon would not approve.

An interesting look at drug policy from Harvard economics professor Jeffrey Miron. Do you agree? Or is he on (very much illegal) crack?

Via IvyGate

It's official. It's "Suddenly Seymour" week. Here's clip of two more people lip synching to the song, but this time, they've sped up the music and video, Chipmunks style. It's surprisingly effective.

AP: Armed man arrested at 'DWTS' studio
LA Times: Cook's Library's upcoming closure has chefs mourning a community loss
CNN: Komodo dragons kill Indonesian fisherman (link courtesy of jash)
The Sun: Did You See The Work I Did On The Roof? (link courtesy of IndianJones)
PBS: Frontline — Ten Trillion and Counting (in case you missed it last night, here's an angering and fascinating examination of the national debt)
Reality Blurred: Woz, Steve-O stay, Denise Richards leaves despite improvement
Daily Dish: Recession Busters: the All-Cocktail Edition
D-Listed: How Did This Happen Exactly?

This speaks for itself.

Via Best Week Ever

I love N*E*R*D*. I love Paris. And I love that McDonald's song from the '80s. Mix them all together, and you get a truly bizarre video of Pharrell attempting to dance his way into the hearts of some Mickey D's workers in a French airport. Funny, sad, amusing, strange — it's all there.

After posting a bizarre clip of a guy lip synching to "Suddenly Seymour," I discovered that there is actually a strange sub-genre of "Suddenly Seymour" synch-along videos out there, each one stranger than the next. The one above is actually pretty impressive on the girl's part. The guy sucks.

TV Week: Bob Barker to Make Cameo Appearance on 'Price'
Facebook: Responding to Your Feedback
Metromix: Q&A: Anthony Bourdain ("the Old Spaghetti Factory: You don't want old spaghetti, and you certainly don't want to eat it in a factory.")
New York Times: Rescue Plan, With Fine Print, Dazzles Wall Street
AP: Sutherland says he's on for 8th '24' season (!!!!!)
Bitten: Cuisine de Marché
Socialite Life: John Mayer More Interested In Twitter Than Jennifer Aniston
LAist: 42 Microquakes Has Experts Wondering if the Big One is Next
ESPN: Reyes not in crosswalk when hit

An a cappella group at Yale put out this video parodying Beyoncé's seminal/awful hit "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)," and while it may cause some people to go into political correctness overdrive, I personally found it funny. Satirization of race? Or affirmation of harmful stereotypes? You decide.

• Yale Group Releases Racy (or -ist?) “Single Asians” Video [IvyGate]

This gets a nice, big WTF? (Good lip-synching though!)

Reality Blurred: Jade Goody dead at 27
AFP: Sylvia Plath's son commits suicide
Cartoon Penis: Creepy Anne Geddes checks
Socialite Life: David Letterman Marries Longtime Girlfriend Regina Lasko
LAist: LA's Gold: 2009 James Beard Award Nominees Announced
Best Week Ever: 12 Reasons Dennis Rodman Should Be The Next Celebrity Apprentice
Eater LA: The Shutter (original Pioneer Chicken closes)
Valleywag: Facebook Haters Reach a Million Strong
D-Listed: Hot Slut Of The Week: Ina Garten (and how!!)
AP: Greek fisherman nets 2,200-year-old bronze statue

The general consensus is that my first horseradish video didn't quite live up to the hype. I kind of agree; so I went ahead and shot another video of me eating the dastardly root. Again, I'm not sure if it's the most violent reaction out there, but I did manage to look like I was going to hurl a few times, and really, that's gotta be worth something. Nevertheless, I think this is it for me and horseradish videos for the time being; so if you're still disappointed, I regret to inform you that you'll just have to live with those emotions.

I was bored on Friday and procrastinating from my important obligations (work, taxes); so I decided to shoot this little, self-indulgent video of me eating horseradish on my webcam. I'm not sure it adequately captures the sinus-clearing pain that one feels upon ingesting the near toxic condiment, but maybe it will give you a vague sense of the discomfort.

(And for all you wondering, I made Sly and IndianJones try the horseradish this weekend, and they too were quite taken aback by the sensation. Sly in particular had a rather violent, borderline-seizure reaction during one of her mouthfuls, forcing her to double over and hack for a good five or six seconds. It was great.)

Drunkenness + reality stars x political activism = hilarity. Take this clip, which features JD (a.k.a. this season's gay dolphin trainer a.k.a. Gaydolph) from Real World Brooklyn. He's got a bad case of Obamamania, and he's not afraid to talk about it. Caution: some foul language (and anti-Palin vulgarities).

Last week, I posted a viral video of a turtle humping a shoe. The most shocking part of the entire ordeal was the discovery that male turtles apparently make tiny squeeze doll noises with each libidinous thrust — sounds I'd expect more from Paula Abdul than a Koopa Troopa. Nevertheless, my friend sawgee immediately pointed me in the direction of yet another turtle porno clip, and this one, I'm proud to say, involved the participation of two amphibious creatures (and not a soulless remnant from Foot Locker). The cute sounds are still there, but I wouldn't call this mating ritual terribly romantic. It has a certain barbaric, borderline rape-y quality thanks to the alpha turtle's relentless headbutting of his sexual victim. Disturbing, hilarious, and intriguing — what more can you ask for?

And just for shits and horrified giggles, after the jump is a video of tortoises doing the nasty. The sounds are deeper and significantly more disturbing (at times the tortoise sounds like a nasty old man pleasuring himself), but you'll be the star of the cocktail party when you announce "I just saw a tortoise threesome!" Trust me, it's a great opener.

Animal and environmental activists will perpetually bemoan the encroachment of civilization on nature. For the most part, they usually have a point. But sometimes we get some good old fashioned follies out of man v. wild. Take these three deer, which oddly decided to go running through a liquor store in search of whatever it was they needed. (Don't ask what they wanted or why — deer are idiots). Hey, maybe they just were looking for some booze. Lesson learned: Bambi grew up to be a wino. Point is, if you like watching disoriented animals jump and crash all over the place, this video is for you. However, if such things make you sad, well, then you probably shouldn't even be reading this blog anyway (but please continue to do so because I need the traffic).

"We Run LA" by Ya Boy Ft. Dr. Hollywood.

Reality Blurred: Judges may get a veto on American Idol; two will leave
Gawker: In Memoriam
LAist: Chris Brown Won't Be the Kids' Choice This Year
Socialite Life: Brittany Snow Is Young Lily Van Der Woodsen! — surprisingly perfect casting
Eater LA: Week in Reviews: Salute Gets the Single Star
ESPN: Tomlinson remains with Chargers
New York Times: TELEVISION REVIEW | 'THE CHOPPING BLOCK' — Preparing a Fresh Batch of Chefs
Epicurious: Los Angeles Restaurants: Hot Spots And Holes In The Wall — courtesy of IndianJones

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm - watch more funny videos

When the people at Funny or Die sent me this video this morning, all I needed to do was read four words: "Jon Hamm Lex Luthor." That is all.

Via D-Listed

Reality Blurred: 13th finalist will get a different, non-sex number; Fox exec: “we knew” IDOLS-13 wasn’t available
Lisa Timmons: Creation of Shia
LA Rag Mag: Amazing Race Winner Eric Sanchez's Naughty Webcam Photos!!!
Midseason Replacements: AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL: THE FALL OF TYRA
TV Week: Defeating the DVR to Promote Shows
Socialite Life: 'Gossip Girl' Star Arrested
Flickr: Feb09 757
Franklin Avenue: Spot Today's Downsized L.A. Times Mistake
Jokers Updates: Big Brother Casting Has Begun
LAist: Man Dies After Eating Mushrooms Picked in a Park

Anyone who watched last night's episode of 24 here in Los Angeles witnessed the local news team on Fox 11 promote a Very Important News Story about students on Spring Break being forced to relocate from Mexico to a new hotspot in California. Naturally, this intrigued IndianJones and I, and so we fast forwarded through the news to learn more. We just assumed the story would air thirty or forty minutes into the broadcast but never underestimate Los Angeles local news. This report was the #2 story of the telecast, edging out other fluff pieces such as stem cell research under the Obama administration and various international crises of the moment. Way to go, Fox!

Nevertheless, if you ever want to get a sense of what local Los Angeles news is like, be sure to check out the clip above for some high quality journalism.

Favorite quote of the segment, courtesy of a drunk co-ed: "You know what? When anytime, like, you have a risk of, like, being cut open and drugs shoved in you, I say no."

Saturday Night Live was only okay this past weekend, but one of the highlights was the above clip, which imagines what exactly might happen if President Obama were to lose his cool.

After the jump, another two of my favorite clips — a Celebrity Apprentice bit and a bizarre yet funny pairing of a sportscaster and an alien.

Dogs running in snow!

Socialite Life: Real NYC Housewife Bethenny Frankel Dated A-Rod? Really?
New York Times: A Tragic End for Minor Leaguer Traded for Bats
Eater LA: When Good Chefs Do Bad Things: Stefan's "Clothing Line"
Gawker: The Real World Brooklyn: Let's Play 'Ask the Tranny'
Curbed LA: Gelson's in Hollywood Finally Takes the Mayfair Sign Down
Socialite Life: Chris Brown Tipped Off Paparazzi In Miami
Food2: Food2Nite: Hummus in 10 or Less

If you, like me, can't get enough of the dual motormouth sensation of Bethenny and Jill from Real Housewives of New York City, take a look at this interview of them on Reality Chat. They don't shed too much new information, but watching them speak a mile a minute is always hilarious. Even the normally loquacious hostesses are rendered somewhat silent next to the Frankel/Zarin alliance, and that's not easy to do.

This video is almost like a Saturday Night Live skit come to life. I almost want to say that it's fake, but I'm fairly sure that it's not... which makes it hilarious.

Via Fail Blog

What happens when you're a cast member of Wicked trying to be a real rock 'n' roller? You get Adam Lambert, one of American Idol's aspiring stars for season eight. The guyliner enthusiast has already achieved frontrunner status due to his soaring vocals (he performs in next week's semifinals group), but he's also attracted some mild notoriety from people like me who feel he's a bit too theatrical, fabricated, and deliberately groomed to be taken seriously. Case in point: the video above. Check out Lambert as he dons an unsettlingly oil-chested, glam rocker persona — a look that can best be described as Michael Flatley meets Bowie. I'm not sure that's a good thing. It's all so over the top and ridiculous — it's every thing that Nick/Normund parodies. Adam can sing for sure, but I defy you to understand any of the words in this shrill, four-and-a-half minute what-the-fuck odyssey. Performance art? Possibly. Mock-worthy? Absolutely.

Via Vote For The Worst

UPDATE: Another curious Adam Lambert clip after the jump...

Ah, my favorite part of last night episode of 24. It's all pretty self-explanatory (and fear not — there are no spoilers).

My friends, my friends. This is a sad day indeed. Today marks the official end of The Parsley Chronicles. That's right: my beloved parsley — the plant that could never be — finally ceased showing any signs of life today. The Obama Sprout, once a beacon of hope and prosperity, shriveled up and died, leaving no future for this once promising cup of life. Back in November when I started this experiment, I naturally assumed I'd be sitting here twelve weeks later with a lush bounty of herbal goodness on my window sill, but alas, it appears such grandiose dreams are only for the misguided and homeless.

Now I'm left with just a quiet cup of soil — the ghosts of parsley sprouts lingering inside. It's been an exciting journey for sure. There were those questionable first few weeks when it seemed like perhaps my seeds would never bear fruit. Then there was the exciting month of December when a verdant fomentation took hold of the cup. And, of course, there was the sudden White Plague that gripped the plant in the new year — a mysterious ailment that turned all the leaves pale and withered them down to the dirt from whence they came. I'll never know what went wrong with my little guys, but I refuse to take any responsibility in their demise. I was good farmer, I tell you. If anything, the blame lies squarely with Ikea for providing substandard specimens. Need proof? The same exact thing happened to my friend Jash's Ikea basil. Part of me thinks I should get my money back from the Swedish home furnishing giant. Yes, that's what I'll do. And I'll lead a crusade on behalf of all the other well-intentioned customers who found themselves with dysfunctional seeds. My life's mission has now become so clear. Yes, I'm going to be the Erin Brockovitch of minor horticultural woes.

In the meantime, let's take a look at the final days of the parsley. Some tearjerking photos after the jump, as well as a tribute video that you all ought to see.

Sometimes I have the humor level of a sixth grader. Take, for instance, this clip from Saturday Night Live in which Alec Baldwin learns the pleasures and joys of playing with a Wii remote. Needless to say, it's hilarious. I have a feeling the writers wanted to take it further, but chances are Standards & Practices probably had some objections. Nevertheless, enjoy.

Right in the midst of his very own career self-immolation, Joaquin Phoenix wound up on Letterman last night, and guess what? He was guarded, silent, and generally unwilling to participate as a guest. In other words, he was pretty rude. Letterman tried to coax any sort of conversation out of him, but as you'll see in the great video above, he eventually gives up, instead opting to just rail on him instead.

Another reason why Letterman is the king of late night.

Via Socialite's Life

Ever wanted to see two foxes on a trampoline? Well, good news: here it is! There's something so wonderful and pure about watching these two mammals discovering the bouncy joys of elasticity. I just don't know why the videographer didn't record a longer clip. Bastard.

If I had a trampoline, I'd leave all sorts of food on it for the animals to get. Could you imagine? Airborne raccoons, possums, squirrels, bunnies! Memo to the San Diego Zoo: install trampoline flooring POSTHASTE!

Via D-Listed

UPDATE: More fox-on-trampoline action after the jump (no pun intended)!

In case you've been living under a rock (or in Iraq. Or in Iraq under a rock), the Christian Bale tirade has been all the rage of the Internets. Even better is "Bale Out," the wonderful techno dance remix, which is not only spectacularly hilarious, but also a really good song. I could actually see myself and others dancing to it in a drunken haze at a club. After all, what's better than getting liquored up, hitting the dance floor, and shouting "WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND???"

It's that sort of infectious energy which seems to have spawned the latest cool thing: posting videos of yourself dancing to "Bale Out." I think my favorite so far is the girl above, who manages to have a rockin' good time at her desk, courtesy of Mr. Bale's epic tantrum. I'm not sure that this is an oeuvre that I'm necessarily going to contribute to, but it's one I can certainly enjoy.

And if you'd like the MP3 of "Bale Out," just click here.

When news broke this morning that three minutes of a recent Christian Bale tirade on the set of the new Terminator had been caught on tape, I tinge of excitement in my tummy. Memories of Pat O'Brien danced through my head, and I knew the Internet would soon be presenting a giant audio gift for the world to enjoy all day. Sure enough, the rant was just as shockingly vitriolic and actor-ly as I could have hoped — a total diva moment that only makes one wonder how many equal, if not worse, tantrums have gone unrecorded in the lifetime of Hollywood.

Anyway, my first instinct upon hearing the audio was to start mashing it up with something, but already there are so many creative takes on it, why should I waste the time? My favorite reshuffling of the audio comes from a DJ named RevoLucian, who took the venom-spewing wrath of Bale and transformed it into a surprisingly catchy dance track. If it came on in a club, I'd dance to it. The remix, found via Defamer, is above. The pure, unadulterated tirade is after the jump. Both clips are NSFW, audio-wise (put on some headphones).

Well, apparently my pick for the best Super Bowl Ad of 2009 never actually aired, which certainly was an embarrassing revelation for me. However, last night's thrilling game (congrats Steeler! Sorry, Larry FitzP) did see a good number of funny, engaging, and generally well produced ads (unlike last year's sorry crop).

My picks for the best and worst after the jump...

My friends at WhateverHollywood shot a spot for Pop Chips, and this should be of note to you because a) they're hot, and b) Brian from Amazing Race 7 somehow wound up in it (to be fair, he pops up in a fair number of commercials, most of them involving beer). Anyway, the point is I'm shilling — so take a look and enjoy.

p.s. — if you'd like to advertise on bsideblog.com, email me at bsideblog at gmail dotcom!

This video may be a few days old, but man, it's awesome. If you haven't seen it, check it out.

Beware: language NSFW.

Via Pop Hangover

There's really nothing more to add to this — except maybe "I love The Soup.."

This video is already a frontrunner for favorite viral video of 2009. I don't know the context of it, and I don't know why it was even made, but this woman certainly has a bone to pick with all of us. Bonus points for scolding whilst spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread.

Via Jezebel and JASH

I love Fail Blog for many reasons, and this video is one of them.

I've been seeing a lot of commercials for the Debbie Meyer Green Bags lately, and for those of you not in the know, it's a product that purports to lengthen the freshness of produce by up to three weeks. The ads tend to crack me up, if only for the presence of Debbie Meyer, who's reminiscent of a modern day Muriel from Too Close For Comfort.

Unfortunately, the geniuses behind the campaign haven't put the commercial on YouTube (although you can still see it here at the official website), but I have the next best thing: intrepid Pittsburgh reporter Andrew Stockey trying out the green bags with the help of friendly old lady/cucumber enthusiast Karen Ogilvie. The two put the bags through their paces, and the results — well, who really cares about the results? It's all about watching this odd couple interact — from Karen's enthusiasm for putting veggies into the fridge to Andrew's fervor for old salad-munching. I particularly like the final image of Andrew, casually tilted and smiling at the camera as if to say "Well look at my consumer report!" Now that's a news segment I can get behind!

When it comes to mashups, there are two ways to look at them: either as a cynical commentary on the generic, interchangeable state of modern music... or as art. I prefer the latter. Along those lines, this video completely blows my mind. It's a mashup of twenty-five songs, all carefully pieced together by DJ Earworm, and here's the shocking part: barring a few fleeting, awkward juxtapositions, it all works remarkably well. Who would have thunk it? Apparently DJ Earworm has been doing these large-scale mashups for a while, but this was the first I'd heard of him (not that I'm Mr. Mashup genius or anything). I'm not sure I'd actually sit and listen to the track on iTunes, but as a viral video, it's insane. I particularly enjoy the T.I. and Chris Brown interludes later in the song. See if you can pick out all the songs. If you need help, I've got a full track list after the jump.

Thanks to IndianJones (and his brother) for the heads up.

Now that Hanukkah is over, I figured it might be best to have a different video atop my blog whilst I enjoy my December break. Please enjoy another classic Lucille Bluth moment above.

An oldie but goodie. Besides, I think Fran captures the Hanukkah spirit best.

Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you all enjoy the above video which re-imagines Frosty The Snowman as Don Draper.

I won't say that I'm off until after New Years, but I may not be posting regularly. Still feel free to check back though because I most certainly will be posting things here and there, if I'm moved by anything in particular.

Also, today is the one year anniversary of B-Side Blog! Technically, the posts started on December 7th, 2007, but that was the "soft opening" when the site was known as "This Blog Is Mine." Today marks 365 days (er, 366 — leap year) since the blog became officially known as B-Side Blog. Thanks to everyone who's been reading and supporting it. The site's growth has been great, and I only hope to improve it in the year to come. (And while we're talking about the site, if anyone knows anyone who wants to buy a blogad, feel free to send them my way. kthnxbye.)

Be safe and have fun out there!

MARIO KART (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

For fans of Mario Kart 64, this video will be pure bliss for you (even if it is all in French, and even if the sound effects come from a Yoshi cart, not a Mario cart). There's nothing else I can say. It's awesome.

Thanks to J-Unit for the heads up.

Via Jalopnik

One of the criminal oversights of this blog has been my total lack of Survivor coverage this season. This does not reflect the quality of the season, but merely my middling work ethic, which has waned a bit in the post Big Brother months. Nevertheless, Gabon has been a solid addition to the franchise, with enough twists and turns and blindsides to earn it a spot as one of the more memorable seasons. Of course, it's hard to compare it to the previous two seasons, China and Fans vs. Favorites, but honestly, it stands on its own quite well.

Last night's episode saw the bittersweet departure of lunatic bitch Corinne, who was both endlessly entertaining and somewhat appalling in her own crazy way. Whether she was threatening to stab someone in the face or merely rolling her eyes at other people's lack of logic, Corinne's constant frustration was glorious (case in point: her wonderfully vindictive goodbye message at the end of last night's show). I still don't know if she's really just that awful or merely someone with a very dry sense of humor. Either way, I'll miss her kooky old ways. She and Bob almost pulled off a great scheme last night by producing a second amazing idol with which they could fool Kenny and Crystal. The plan was to get the two original Fang members to turn on Matty lest the "idol" be used against them, but the only problem was that Bob's penchant for creating stunning jewelry from nothing was already out of the bag. Kenny and Crystal decided that rather than vote explicitly for Matty, they'd merely vote for Corinne. If the idol were real, then Matty would go and the idol would be flushed out. If it were fake, then hey, Corinne would go home, no problem. Pretty smart.

But then Kenny, who's played a spectacular game in my opinion, made his first colossal screw up. He came up with some strategy to vote for Matty while Crystal would vote for Corinne. It made no sense, really. They didn't need that extra vote to send Matty home. If Kenny voted against Corinne also and her idol were real, Matty would still go home. I don't know what the hell Kenny was thinking. Of course, as it turned out, the idol was fake, which meant Corinne went home, and Kenny, well, he just turned on an alliance member for no reason. Needless to say, he's screwed. He better start lying again, and quickly...

I'm sure things will be quite dicey at Nobag next week, but for now, we can enjoy this video of Corinne at "Ponderosa" where she happily dismisses the entire continent of Africa after unsuccessfully attempting to blow out her hair. What did you think of the show? Thoughts on the season so far?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion is less than twenty-four hours away, and I can't wait. The special promises to feature plenty of fantastic clashes, and in order to whet your appetite, I'm posting a brief clip from tonight's show. Buckle your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride...

Via Reality Blurred

Remember those tween girls who bawled when David Archuleta lost to David Cook on American Idol? Well, here's what they're doing when they're not watching Idol. I just don't get adolescents.

Let's take a trip back in time. On May 21, 2008 — six months ago to the day — David Cook pulled an upset win over David Archuleta on American Idol and simultaneously broke the hearts of adolescent girls nationwide. Many of us were lucky to be far, far away from any roving tweens, and as such, we were spared the ear-piercing sounds of their lamentations. Now, through the magic of the YouTubes, we can see their pain, and it is wonderful. Please enjoy (and forgive the shrill sounds this video emits at the very end).

Via Best Week Ever

Thanks to my friend Jash for giving me the heads up on this feline adventure.

Sheila Kennedy, one of my favorite Big Brother contestants of all time, popped up on The Doctors recently with a very, very important question. Watch the video to find out what was on her mind. Bonus fun: she ends the clip with her trademark "Thank yew!"

Via Jokers Updates

At 10 AM PST, upwards of 5 million Los Angelenos will be participating in the cheerfully named "The Great Southern California Shakeout." To the unsuspecting, this event sounds like nothing more than a wacky dance contest, but in actuality, it's an all too scary earthquake drill that aims to simulate a 7.8 seismic event — should one happen (and apparently it will). To help people get in the mood, shakeout.org has released this drill video, which allows people at home to get in on the fun. And by "fun," I mean "the petrifying realization that this city is on borrowed time."

Be warned: this video is slightly horrifying. Granted, there are no visuals (save an epilogue by Rosario Marin, Secretary State and Consumer Services Agency); however, the rumbling sound effects and the narrator's soothing yet cold description of the quake might leave you, well, shaken (rimshot!). Now excuse me while I purchase a hardhat to wear FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Via LAist

I love this video, and really only because it shows Busta Rhymes dancing with a bunch of goofy office workers for no real reason. There's something so simple, so basic, and yet so awesome about it. I mean, imagine if a famous rapper showed up at your cubicle and invited you to dance in his video.

To be fair, this isn't an official video. It's a "video remix," and according to the YouTube notes, it seems to have been taped at Big Boy's Neighborhood, a morning show here in LA. Still, it's nice to see a rapper mixing it up with the regular folks. Back in the day, I worked down the hall from Method Man's manager, and my buddy, who served as an assistant to her, once brought Method Man into my office to say hi. It was very surreal (topping the time Rue McLanahan entered my office). I always kind of wished I could immortalize that moment, but while I may not have a silly memory video of me and Method Man dancing, at least these people have one with Busta Rhymes. Great time had by all.

Plus, you gotta love the prominent use of Cheerios.

Via Best Week Ever.

This video speaks for itself. Quite nicely too, I might add.